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Open Poetry #21

Unfettered

Jason
Member

since 2002-07-31

Posts 72
Macon, GA

0 posted 2002-08-06 12:23 PM

unfettered
I give my passions full reign
let them run wild and free
over my inhibitions
and unleash my desires
overtake my senses
which will bring me to you.

Jason Daniels
(still not entirely sure about this one)

Practiced in the Art of Perception

WhiteRose
Member Elite

since 2002-07-23

Posts 3208
somebody's dungeon

1 posted 2002-08-06 12:27 PM

I like it as it is. If you were to expound on the theme, it would be wonderful. But as I said, as is, it's a poem, soft and simple.

Love Seduces Joy From The Heart

Dulcinea
Senior Member

since 2001-07-22

Posts 774
IN

2 posted 2002-08-06 12:37 PM

You decribed how passion should be when you are in love...simply stated, but well stated. Nice work!

Secret Whisper
Member

since 2001-01-25

Posts 298
Through the Looking Glass

3 posted 2002-08-06 12:47 PM

I like the piece very much. Although I think you lose some very wonderful imagery and diction when you come to the last line. It just seems a stark contrast between the very poetic word choices preceeding it. Overall however, I really enjoyed it.

"I am not alive enough to kill myself." - Mary Ipal

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

4 posted 2002-08-06 01:41 PM

(big hugggssssss) Awwwwwww, I love this, sweet friend, this is beautiful, you speak of passion soooooo wonderfully, I love it, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiufl heart, sweet Jason, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Temptress

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-06-15

Posts 7136
Mobile, AL

5 posted 2002-08-14 01:39 AM

If ya gets anymore unfettered you'll have to come get a room in the Adult forum. lol...
Just kidding. Seriously. This was just tastefully passionate, and it shows me that you still have "it". Here's to your homecoming.

I will not bend to the cowardice of a silent judgement.

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