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Open Poetry #21
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Working Overtime ( An attempt at a Sestina )
| Open Poetry #21 |
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Working Overtime ( An attempt at a Sestina ) |
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Paul Wilson
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711United States 
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Working Overtime By Paul Wilson If I only knew how hard it would be To get these words right To some it’s easy as one, two, three For others it may take all night My mind is working overtime A thousand words a minute Second by second we count each minute This challenge won’t let me be A challenge worth this overtime Just to get it right I may work till three Or I may work all night How much coffee I will drink this night To go along with this excedrine minute I lost count maybe the pots number three A masterpiece I want this to be By gosh I believe I’m getting it right The caffeine I drank is working overtime I can’t remember when I had so much fun working overtime This sestina I will finish this night Nan will be the judge if it’s wrong or right After this she to may have an excedrine minute After this one another from me there may never be Well maybe two or three Still trying to get it right as the clock strikes three What reward will I get for these hours of overtime These words in my mind won’t let me be All I have now is a sleepless night Hold on a little longer just another minute Please God help me get it right My mind is wandering this can’t be right Just a final Tercet lines one two and three This challenge will be met before the final minute My reward is near for all my overtime Maybe I will be able to sleep after all this night If all these words will let me be I think I got it right working overtime The pots of coffee were three I drank this night With not a minute to spare this sestina I will let be |
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| © Copyright 2002 Paul D. Wilson - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Paul Wilson
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711United States |
I'm just learning, so this may not have the right meter or other things that make up a good poem but it was fun trying. |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Paul~ Well, as much as I love coffee ... not sure even three pots could get me to attempt this difficult form~ Can't say if it's right or not ... but applaud your efforts in an enjoyable read~ *Hugs* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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Zinsser Senior Member
since 2001-02-27
Posts 1641Calif. |
Sestina??? what is that.... Please explain for the poeticly challanged LOL : ) Really I love to learn new things and I dont have a clue.... ~~ Connie ~~ |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
LOL - Did you time yourself too? You've followed the guidelines - You've got your rhyme scheme intact - and your final tercet includes all of the end rhymes as prescribed. Since I've never found any stipulations as to meter, you haven't deviated from something non-existant.. It surely does seem to work - and a great theme it is.. Now stop working so hard and enjoy some more poetry...  You're all approved for posting in the workshop, btw..  |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
smiling at you---I sat this one out--my head is still pounding from MY attempt, so I do admire your courage. And, your words bought back all of the pain...chuckling again, well done! |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
Well, beats the hell outta me?...If you've ever read any of my schtuff you'll understand what I mean?...Seems good to me though...(but, after reading what I write you'll see I'm surely not one to listen to for a poetry critique).... |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
  YAY!!! Hip-Hip Hooray, YOU DID IT!!! This IS a sestina, and what a wonderful one it is! (big hugggsssssss) Now I bet after all that the caffeine has died down and you must be so tired! LOL! (smiles) This is fabulous, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Paul, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Paul Wilson
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711United States |
Marge... Thanks for all your kind words and " Hugs ". It's really not that hard after you get started. Connie... Sestina is a specific form followed when writting a poem. I just found out myself what it is, so this is the best I can do. Check out the workshop if you are up to the challenge. Lots of fun trying new forms of writting. Thanks for the reply. Nan... Thanks for allowing me to join your class. Your comments are appreciated very much. I didn't really time it but it took me around 2-3 hours. I thought about it for 2 weeks and really didn't think I could do it, then last night it came to me like a bolt of lightning.I hope you didn't mind the line about the excedrine moment. Serenity Blaze... Thanks for the smile & the nice words. It is nice to get such positive feedback from so many great poets, since I am a rookie in this field. It really was alot of fun once I got the first stanza down. Toe... I know you are just pulling my leg, I have read some of your poems and they are very good. Thank you for taking the time to read & comment. I look foward to trying new styles of writting even if they come out wrong, it's the experience and enjoyment that counts. |
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Paul Wilson
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711United States |
Noah... So wonderful to hear from you, your comments are always so lively and great to get. Thanks for everything... Paul |
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NewEnglandlazurlu Member Rara Avis
since 2002-01-04
Posts 7470A Mountain Paradise |
Well, geez, I have absolutely no clue, but anyone who worked this hard deserves a lot of praise and hugs. It's a great poem in my mind's eye. Congratulations! Marti |
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