Open Poetry #21 |
Foreign Hands |
Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
This is a poem I wrote when I misread WayOutWalt's poem in adult. His was entitled Between your hips lie foreign lands. It is amazing how much difference one little letter makes. Between your hips lie foreign hands Where I have wandered oft with you I did not see those shifting sands Would lead you to the things you do In a garden perfumed sweet I felt your scent, caressed your mound Although I fell down at your feet I could not seek what I had found I took it all savoured the day Did not aspire for something more But now my love you've gone away To find peace on a foreign shore Your cup of wine I drank it dry And took my solace in your sighs I did not know that you would fly Away to loves from foreign skies There was a part of you with me Everywhere that I would roam Now I return too late to see The candles' gone the bird has flown So at the window deep and dim I sit and sing my songs of rue But you're not here, you've gone to him And foreign hands now hold to you Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown [This message has been edited by Kethry (08-04-2002 05:52 PM).] |
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© Copyright 2002 Lynne Dale - All Rights Reserved | |||
Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Keth....you are right about one letter making the diff. and you took it and blended it perfectly into this poem... |
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Sunnyone Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334Staffordshire, England |
Kethry, this is just genius....loved the way you integrated the whole piece. Great job, girl!!! Open the door and let your adventure begin!!! |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
grinning wicked grins...girl? you've got a way with innuendo! *chuckle* damn, but you are clever! |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
"So at the window deep and dim I sit and sing my songs of rue But you're not here, you've gone to him And foreign hands now hold to you" (smiles) Wow, I just love this, sweet friend, this is awesome and an amazing inspiring story too, yes, one word can always make a difference indeed, this is breathtaking, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Kethry, thank youn for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Keth beloved heart sister and holder of the nights lights, you know when I first read this poem I said it was fabulous, the blending of one line with the next its flow so smooth and the content outstandingly good, well I was wrong. It is just fabulous at all. You have done what you do time after time, you’ve encapsulated the thought perfectly, brought it to the readers eye, embellished it enough to clarify it, clothed it in rich and appropriate raiment and then presented it for all to see. As a flawless gem is best set in a beautiful ring setting, this has been polished and presented in it’s perfect environment. Do I love it yes beloved heart you know I do, is it special and well written it is stunningly so. Do it again darling spin the magic that you weave so well and I shall always be ready to hear your tale. Perfect poetry As always Mushy Breathe through the heat of our desire |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
only you could take that one letter and make a work of wonder. . . great job Keth. . . ----------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Kethry - nice write. One letter does make a big difference... BC |
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ecrivan Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923my own state |
Takes foreign hands to get to foreign lands sometimes...I like the life you blew into the poem.. this gives me and idea..hehe. |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
It IS amazing, Keth... that letter literally makes a world of difference... You did a very beautiful job with this piece. ~ hugs from superchip Lyra |
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