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Open Poetry #21
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The Presence of Glass
| Open Poetry #21 |
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The Presence of Glass |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration 
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©2002 C.G. Ward we used to sing of purple flowers coveting the warmth at an opera, culture defined and made-up in lights on the corner of Seventy-Fifth and Main. callous we'd grown, blistering tongues on the roof of a dissertation regarding the dissonance of springtime growths as they twine through our hair: Adam and Eve on opening night. ride on. ride on. lost, amidst a sea of unknown faces, thumping, bumping, grinding in time with the tempo of a rhythm that all hear with a different past. if we dance, would you watch my feet as they ripen the crystal to pry it from the ceiling? she frowns. her face upside down would be a beauty I could not stand… steals me, even as I grieve her eyes. inspiration twinkles some stars in my fist only to hear her tell me that space isn't enough to hold the emptiness of withdrawal, and satellites wouldn't go with her shoes. instead, she prompts for a gift of silence, but doesn't really expect a return on that kind of investment. melting - the condensation of my drink oozes down thoughts to puddle the floor beneath stains of a barstool. a challenge, to make this girl laugh. no challenge to make her cry. yet worth every moment of effort, every bad joke, just to see a crack in the makeup thinly lining her lips as thirst rises above the desolation. she smiles, she smiles, so I walk away. |
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| © Copyright 2002 C.G. Ward - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Elizabeth Cor Senior Member
since 2000-10-13
Posts 879Over the river and through the woods |
you have a right to be proud. loved it. |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
So, do you consider it finished now? Just got home from work...shattered...will try try try to look at this properly soon - you know my schedule...bah first impression - yeah, you do have a right to be proud, some aching lines in there...so let me get to the whole of it when I can think straight lol... huggles you  K |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
if we dance, would you watch my feet as they ripen the crystal to pry it from the ceiling? she frowns. her face upside down would be a beauty I could not stand steals me, even as I grieve her eyes. inspiration twinkles some stars in my fist only to hear her tell me that space isn't enough to hold the emptiness of withdrawal, and satellites wouldn't go with her shoes. instead, she prompts for a gift of silence, but doesn't really expect a return on that kind of investment. melting - the condensation of my drink oozes down thoughts to puddle the floor beneath stains of a barstool. a challenge, to make this girl laugh. no challenge to make her cry. yet worth every moment of effort, ===================================== Obviously a very personal piece... impressive and unique imagery, personification and metaphor. Ya had me from the title  as they ripen the crystal to pry it from the ceiling? very clever, unique image and metaphor...would love to pick your brain on that one. Anyone ever tell ya that you write quite well for someone who dont rhyme?   Tell me we belong together |
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Greeneyes  
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
we used to sing of purple flowers coveting the warmth at an opera, culture defined and made-up in lights on the corner of Seventy-Fifth and Main."" That reminds me of NY, in "living color" fantastic!! that all hear with a different past. if we dance, would you watch my feet as they ripen the crystal to pry it from the ceiling? a different past, wow I have felt that before...even in the dance.....somewhat emotional line there Chris I have only touched on a few lines, but in all the poem stands well written, with a lot of color... amazing I tell ya....hugssssssLauren~ The ocean looks like a thousand diamonds strewn across a blue blanket |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
melting - the condensation of my drink oozes down thoughts to puddle the floor beneath stains of a barstool. a challenge, to make this girl laugh. no challenge to make her cry. yet worth every moment of effort, every bad joke, just to see a crack in the makeup thinly lining her lips as thirst rises above the desolation I love this. Darkly vivid, if that makes any sense. (but the up side of having a reputation for being crazy is that ya don't have to make sense) and I'm going to keep this one for study, if ya don't mind...(giving Nan's workshop on freeverse another try...) I'll be watching you! |
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