waiting for the moment,,,,alone

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secretlife
Member

since 2002-07-30

Posts 359
Grean Earth ,,,

0 posted 2002-08-03 07:13 AM

I am here again,,writting to you my papers,,
Sitting here alone,,,waiting for the time to pass,,
Thinking about silly things,,
And writting about the questions that needs the answers in my mind and heart,,
Back again to write what my heart want to explain,,
Back to you,,to paste my pain words,,
Back to the one who always lisen to what I say or what I write,,
Sitting here alone without a soul,,
Waiting for the great moment to come,,
Dreaming alone,,
And flying in the blue sky,,
Flying there,, very high with the birds,,
And singing very loudly,,
The natural,,which I always provides my power from,,
Dreaming about the great moment,,
Dreaming to be in the right place,,
Lonely here,,
And all I have is you,, shareing togather my lonely moment,,
Finding the answers for the strange questions,,
Just me and you,, near the window,,
Counting the high stars,,
And Complain to the moon,,

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

1 posted 2002-08-03 11:03 AM

SecretLife~
Out of this piece ...
I REALLY like this thought ...

'Counting the high stars,
And Complain to the moon'

That is a unique perspective ...~
Maybe you'd like to take that thought of complaining to the moon and work it into another write ?

We poets are so hung up on the perfection of the moon (ME especially) ... I like the originality of your opposing thought~

If I haven't done so before ...
I WELCOME YOU TO PASSIONS~
*Hugs*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
[email protected]

Nan

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-20

Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA

2 posted 2002-08-03 12:27 PM

These are wonderfully pensive thoughts, secretlife..

CSKpoet
Senior Member

since 2002-07-12

Posts 845
Island in Paradise

3 posted 2002-08-03 10:51 PM

Yes very touching and heartfelt thoughts...thanks for sharing sweet friend and Welcome
aloha,
Cher

Poetry is:
Passion, imagination and intellect running together.

Aloha with warmest regards, Cheryl Stewart Koomoa

secretlife
Member

since 2002-07-30

Posts 359
Grean Earth ,,,

4 posted 2002-08-04 12:20 PM

Hiy Marge Tindal,,,
Thanx alot for ur support, and Iam really glad that u like my though which will makes me write more and more,,and sure I will need ur opinion once again...Just thanx very much dear..
Huges to u too,,

And you Nan,, Thanx alot for ur opinion..Iam glad to hear that..

And you also CSKpoet,,, Thanx for ur soft words Iam really happy to hear that..and thanx for welcome me becaues Iam new here, and Iam proud to be here...thanx for ur support dear..

Secretlife,,

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-21

Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song

5 posted 2002-08-04 10:53 AM

Some very nice soft thought here.  I especially loved the closing two lines.  You can't read those and not know it is poetry.  Very much enjoyed and WELCOME TO PASSIONS.

note*- Since you asked for corrections on mistakes in your critique message, you might want to change the following
shareing togather
to
sharing together

I look forward to reading more of your works.

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

6 posted 2002-08-04 10:56 AM

Yes, Secretlife, writing IS a wonderful way to express one's self...as Mark pointed out, spelling is important, as well, so if you have any questions or need help, just let any of us know, and we will be glad to help you with your poetry...

Welcome to Passions!

Karilea
If I whisper, will you listen?...
I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound

Moon Dust

Member Elite

since 1999-06-11

Posts 2177
Skelmersdale, UK

7 posted 2002-08-04 11:36 AM

I do this sometimes its great

If your afraid of the dark, then why did you come?

secretlife
Member

since 2002-07-30

Posts 359
Grean Earth ,,,

8 posted 2002-08-05 12:17 PM

Yes Mark Bohannan I got ur correction..thanx alot for ur soft words Iam really happy and proud to be here with u guyes..Thanx for ur help and I will try my best to write the best I can..Also thanx for welcome me I really needed ur support..

Sure Sunshine I will ask for help if I need it from u thanx alot for ur help dear and I will do my best to improve my writting skills ,,,
Thanx alot dear..

well Moon Dust.. so u do that too,,,well Iam happy that u feel me dear,,,Thanx for telling me ur opinion,,,
Huges,,

Secretlife,
(Easy come,,Easy go)

Night Shadow
Junior Member

since 2002-08-04

Posts 41

9 posted 2002-08-05 06:31 AM

Great words and very sensitive, dear secret i think you inspire your peom from your cute heart, and thats the key of your success.
look dear if i were you ill keep counting the stars eveery night cuz every new day we will you will recognize new one.

(still dont think that i can correct ur mistakes)

Night Shadow.

secretlife
Member

since 2002-07-30

Posts 359
Grean Earth ,,,

10 posted 2002-08-10 01:38 AM

Thanx my dear friend Night Shadow..
U have avery cute heart,,,I am really happy to have a support from a kind person like u..

thanx alot..

Secretlife,
(Easy come,,Easy go)

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