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Open Poetry #21
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Toerag at the Beach
| Open Poetry #21 |
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Toerag at the Beach |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA 
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Poor Toerag never had much luck With girls down at the beach. Every gal that saw him stayed Completely out of reach. He walked around in skimpy trunks And sucked his belly in But all the gals ignored him.... Poor old Toerag couldn't win. He went to his friend Balladeer and said, "What can I do? I want the girls to fall for me The way they do for you. Although I'm uglier than dirt There has to be a way to make the chicks come on to me and take me home to play." "Toe, it is clear", said 'Deer, "you've got no reason to be proud. Girls can see, with those trunks, you are not too well-endowed. Stick a tater in your suit To look like something's there and girls will beg to take you home and pleasure you, I swear!" Next day Toe showed up at the beach, a swagger in his stride, A tater hid to take the place of Toerag's manly pride but every gal he walked up to would scream and run away! No one would come within a mile of Toerag boy all day. "Big talk!", he told the Balladeer. "You told me I would score! I used a tater like you said and now they hate me more!!" The 'Deer then looked him up and down and said, "You stupid grunt! When you put a tater in you're supposed to put it in the FRONT!!!  |
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| © Copyright 2002 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved | |||
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the_loner_23 Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479Jacksonville, Florida, USA |
LOL Cold hands means a warm heart |
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Titia Geertman Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182Netherlands |
No words, just laughter, I'll be giggling all night now LOL Titia Like scattered leaves...my words will flow |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 LOL! Oh my gosh, poor Toerag, now you've made him blush embarrassed like a bing cherry with third-degree burns! LOL! This is hilarious sweet friend, oh my gosh, I can't stop laughing, excuse me, hehehe, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Balladeer, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
 10 points - Balladeer!sending spammy whammy smiles your way m'deer, you're the king of wit, and, of course Toe's no match for you! Take care, Melissa~ "Poetry is not an opinion expressed... |
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CSKpoet Senior Member
since 2002-07-12
Posts 845Island in Paradise |
oh my Gawd..is this funny er what? ROTFL...I needed this today. Such a wonderful storyteller you be in poetland as always. aloha, Cher Poetry is: |
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WhiteRose Member Elite
since 2002-07-23
Posts 3208somebody's dungeon |
LOL Well Toe, ya asked for it. And this was a doozy. I may not stop laughing till sometime tomorrow.  |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Something to last the entire weekend... and for some reason there's a real visual going on...LOL... thanks for this, and may the wars continue! |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
As always the imperial wizard of wit...and taters! Best Regards, ThisDiamond |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
’Deer dearest heart HUGE GRINS HERE, wonderful utterly utterly wonderful. You know we all warned poor Toe, would he listen? He did not and now you’ve wiped him off the map. I really love this, as always you are the king of wit. I’ve said it before and I shall in likelihood say it again there is no one that comes anywhere near your standard when it comes to writing these. I would say poor old Toe is dead in the water, that wasn’t just a warning shot across his bows. If Toe were the Titanic you are definitely the Iceberg. ‘Deer 100 Toe 20 No contest, beautifully written and wonderfully done. I love it utterly utterly utterly love it   Love and warm stuff As always Mushy  Breathe through the heat of our desire |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
OHMYGAWD!! The pictures that are in my mind now 'Deer!! I'll still be laughing in bed!  Excellent write as always! ~Hugs~ |
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SmartChick Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081On A Journey To The Unknown |
LOL! Balladeer I knew you would come up with a good one. Thank you Balladeer for this laugh. I sure did need one. |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
Laughter is the best medicine.... and this got me really giggling hard, Michael. Thanks so much for the good cheer  ~ still laughing hugson beaches from NY to France but he scared them far away when they saw the load in his pants Lyra copyright2002 Lyra Nesius "poetry is life distilled" Gwendolyn Brooks [This message has been edited by Madame Chipmunk (08-02-2002 10:46 PM).] |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Balladeer, A banana not a tater. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
loner...ty Titia..don't let your giggle keep the sheep awake! Noah...a bing cherry with third-degree burns..now THAT'S red!!! honeybee...spammy whammy smiles received...thank you for the points! Cher...glad I could make you smile! WhiteRose...yep, he's the wrinkled shirt and I'm the iron! Thanks so much for enjoying it.. Sunshine...does paint a ,er, pretty picture, doesn't it?  Diamond lady...well, if Toe has kids, he can call them tater tots, I guess! TY,,, Mushy...no, he'll be back - at least I hope so! His MOUTH is the Titanic and I'm his dentist! Enchantress...I've made many women laugh in bed...darnit!!! SmartChick...my pleasure, lady. Keep smiling... Madame C..any laughter from you is pure pleasure to my ears. I'll do my best to keep those smiles coming... Sy...I bow to your experience |
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Bridget Shenachie Senior Member
since 2002-01-23
Posts 1056Kansas USA |
My friend, 'Deer, Some people you just can't help. I'm sure that you gave it your best. Toerag is such a hapless young whelp That your efforts might leave you depressed. 'Course the rest of us are ROTFLOBO. Shenachie |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Balladeer~ Ya' know ... yesterday I couldn't imagine for the life of me WHY I saved this little 'TaterTreat' from my step-dad ....  He said it was called a DickTater Honest Injun ! STRANGE how stuff happens !  *Hugs* from a laughing lil' Cherokee gal~ ~*MinnieHAHAHAHAHAHA*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Michael!!!!! You should be ashamed of yourself for leading Toe down your path of ill repute... But of course, I am sure you are smiling just as the rest of us are....ROTFLMBO! |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
OH DEER You're an incorrigible brat!  |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
Well lookie here, It's Balladeer! Such a wonderfully nice write. You are so kind my friend! Just cuz you're paranoid doesn't mean I'm not out to get ya! |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
An old joke, made fresh and new I love the banter 'tween you two! ROFL @ the poem... and Seymour's experience! LOL |
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Lucie Senior Member
since 1999-06-20
Posts 1077Houston |
One day I went down to the beach to have a little fun. I splashed and played there in the surf and stretched out in the sun. I saw a fella strutting by, his speedo's caught my eye. I've always been the kinda girl whose partial to a lumpy guy. I invited him up to my room. That Toerag sure was hot. Nine months later here I am breastfeeding a 9 lbs. tater-tot. |
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*Stubby* Member
since 2002-09-19
Posts 122 |
That is a  for sure you always make me laugh thanks J |
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