Open Poetry #21 |
If |
Samantha G Kennedy Member
since 2002-07-27
Posts 131Kent England |
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© Copyright 2002 Samantha G Kennedy - All Rights Reserved | |||
VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
This is wonderful and a highly interesting form! The only place I got confused was with the latter part of this stanza: Member since 07-27-2002 Posts 57 Kent England 0 posted 08-02-2002 02:34 PM I If my dreams are forgotten you’ll be the one who reminds me. If emptiness reigns on a day of isolation you’ll be the one who fulfils it. If grief commands my weighty heart you’ll be the one who consoles it. If the clouds shower on my pathway you’ll be the one who shields it. If the breeze floats me onto expectation you’ll be the one to anchor me. If my faith mislays direction you’ll be the one to lead me home. II Somewhere in the heart of sorrow climbs a tall but wilted tree, stretch to reach the hand of ‘morrow soft the call, he summons me. I shall proudly let, I…grow tracing heavens breath, a timid glow. ...and I'm positive its my fault not yours, but could you help me out? Whether on the shoal or on the shore, |
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the_loner_23 Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479Jacksonville, Florida, USA |
I like Cold hands means a warm heart |
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Samantha G Kennedy Member
since 2002-07-27
Posts 131Kent England |
Hi Vas what seems to be the problem? Somewhere in the heart of sorrow climbs a tall but wilted tree, stretch to reach the hand of ‘morrow soft the call, he summons me. I shall proudly let, I…grow tracing heavens breath, a timid glow. ? ask and I shall try to help LOL this stanza is talking of an invisible hand, that can assist us in our down times, leading the way forward *tomorrow* the rest is of heaven, gods calling to assist growth I see life, as a tree (like many) I hope this helps, or was it something else you were stuck on? I know sometimes I am deep ~ Appologies Sammie |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
nothing wrong with being deep. . . it's good to make people think. . . I like this form as well. . . the middle part is a good break from the first and third parts. . . you keep the rhythm well, and your images are very good. . . welcome!!! ------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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janmew Member
since 2001-10-27
Posts 134Canada |
Ahh, I really enjoyed this. Especially the first part, I could really relate to the feeling and the way you worded it. Jan |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Samantha, Somewhere in the heart of sorrow climbs a tall but wilted tree, stretch to reach the hand of ‘morrow soft the call, he summons me. I shall proudly let, I…grow tracing heavens breath, a timid glow. Excellent writing. |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
(smiles) Yes, yes, and may true loves beauty turn all your ifs into is! (kiss on cheek) This is wonderful, sweet friend, I love the introspective feel of this, we all love you so much! You have such a nbeautiful heart, sweet Sam, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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RSWells Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533 |
Not if but when, you've such a gifted pen. |
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RSWells Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533 |
Sorry, punched it twice. But read it thrice. [This message has been edited by RSWells (08-02-2002 09:09 PM).] |
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