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Open Poetry #21
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Vacation
| Open Poetry #21 |
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Vacation |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla 
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Vacation Sitting under a roof of straw With jungle juice that added pour I lift my eyes mirages sun And their chameleon was done. Versioned mermaids on the shore Combing hair of sea green awe. Waving me to come and play It’s then I left my corporal way. I swam with them the blue green sea I swam into eternity They took me down to waters core And there I went through heavens door. A moment’s flood of ecstasy A blinding light of pleasantry And I awoke a lobster red Over cooked and in my bed. The Gods will have their little joke Clothed within vacations cloak. |
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| © Copyright 2002 Seymour Tabin - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Sitting under a roof of straw With jungle juice that added pour I lift my eyes mirages sun And their chameleon was done. Versioned mermaids on the shore Combing hair of sea green awe. Waving me to come and play It's then I left my corporal way. =================================== A moment's flood of ecstasy A blinding light of pleasantry And I awoke a lobster red Over cooked and in my bed. The Gods will have their little joke Clothed within vacations cloak. ==================================== Stinkylove ya make me smile with your wile... There is so many clever lines in this... the way you tease us with the imagery and analogy ...the metaphorical word play. And as always, what I love most about your poetry is your sense of humor, wit, irony and humility that dances with your rhymes divine. That first verse is worth its weight in poetic gold when one looks at all the intend in its words and images... With jungle juice that added pour I lift my eyes mirages sun And their chameleon was done. how cool and clever is that for setting up the theme, " mirage" "chameleon" ... and I'm smiling here at "jungle juice"  and how cool, clever, and cute are these lines... It's then I left my corporal way. And I awoke a lobster red Over cooked and in my bed. The Gods will have their little joke Clothed within vacations cloak. =========================== The irony and humilty of your closing couplet is classic Sy-poetry. So Randy got a sunburn and Stinkylove got a lesson learned Looking forward to the next poetic snapshot of your trip. So much to see in each frame. *winkiewinkie*    |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
sy, could be that little strip of beach up coast from puarta v' down mexico way could be me in a yesterday shirt...some mellow recognizers running sir. enjoyed this |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
LOL...oh Sy...I'm so sorry....I thought you were old enough to know better, but those mermaids had to have their way, and you forgot to feel Sun's rays.... |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Enjoyed my morning read from you Sy! I am never disappointed poet sir! You do outstanding work and put a smile on my face every day!! ~Morning hugs~ ~Somewhere in my heart I'm always |
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Greeneyes  
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
I have some sun block you can borrow.... take it easy...have fun....cute write SYLauren~ The ocean looks like a thousand diamonds strewn across a blue blanket |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Sy Loved the ocean play with sunburn as your reminder of what a great time you had |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
This is a great vacation poem. Seems like things were perfect till that sunburn  Sandra |
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1slick_lady Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088standing on a shadow's lace |
gently passes sy, her industrial size can of solarcaine with aloe (giggling from one Floridian to another) |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
This is soooo kewl... Envisioning Poe Lobstah Sy here...   |
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Neeraja Senior Member
since 2002-06-22
Posts 812The Netherlands |
Dangerous!!! To fall asleep in the sun!!! But the dream softens the pain... I hope???  Neeraja |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
JM, If for no other reason then your magic comments I would write. You always take me for a flight over ego land. Love ya, WWRS Dark Stranger, Your approval sooths the yearns and the burns Sunshine, It's all fascination. Enchantress, All the smiles can be future wiles. Lauren, Happiness can sometimes burn more then a hole in your pocket. Martie, Thank you sweet. Sandra, Wait there is more. 1slick lady, The burn was worth your giggle. Nan, Yea, poe lobstah sy. Neeaja, Wait there is more. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Sy took Randy Dragon on an extended vacation, Cancun's Club Med was his dandy destination. He intended on some relaxation and meditation, hoping to find poetic inspiration in island isolation. But Randy had his own idea of fun in the sun, He hit the beach ... a dragon in dare on the run. He stripped down bare, Sy knew the trouble had begun, Forgive the pun but the sun toasted him like a hot cross bun.  So Randy learned a sunburn lesson he wont soon forget And the vacation just began ... we haven't heard the best yet  Oh oh ... look at Randy go *winkiewinkie* |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
JM, You are so cute, You always bring a smile to my mind. Your picture and little randy dragon sits just to the right of my computer. Winkiewinkie Randy Stinky. |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Seymour - two Bahama Mama's, one beautiful woman, and a romantic vacation. Yes, it's grand... BC |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Bill, Thank you amigo. |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
YAY!!! Oh my gosh, I love mermaids so so much, they are my favorite enchanting creature of all, I have written many of them I would love to re-post for you! (big hugggsssss) This is a delightful read as always, sweet friend, this place seems so beautiful, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Seymour, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
ROFL.... Ouch!!! LOL Just what was in that potent jungle juice anyway? *G* Seymour's new vacation deal... One week to play, two weeks to peel! *G* I enjoyed this very much! *S* |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
Ouch! that sounds painful, but I'm glad you didn't let it ruin your vacation, Sy... Just think of it this way....when it peels off, you will have brand new skin underneath, and you can start fresh. Many women go to dermatologists and pay lots of $$$$$$ to get their skin peeled so they can have a new layer without wrinkles, but you just had it done for free...so be careful with your new skin...  ~ chipmunk hugsLyra |
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paladin
since 2001-08-05
Posts 930Pensacola,Fl. |
I once had the idea of attaching a big spatula to a fork lift.I would use to flip the tourist frying in the sun. paladin |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Sy.... errrr...did we forget the SPF30? Too many mermaids, huh? |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Noah, Always a delight to read your replies. Suthern, Well it gave me time to write. LOL Lyra, Yes, cheepy me had it for free. LOL Paladin, That's a good idea. LOL Magnus, Yep, too many mermaids. |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Can't get much better enjoyment than this in poetry.....great cadence, images divine, and a couplet filled with LAUGHTER mixed with humility to end the read. Loved it. What on earth were ya thinkin' sir?ROFL |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Mermaids with green hair dear sir. Thank you Mark. |
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