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Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

0 posted 2002-07-25 07:06 AM

Vacation

Sitting under a roof of straw
With jungle juice that added pour
I lift my eyes mirages sun
And their chameleon was done.

Versioned mermaids on the shore
Combing hair of sea green awe.
Waving me to come and play
It’s then I left my corporal way.

I swam with them the blue green sea
I swam into eternity
They took me down to waters core
And there I went through heavens door.

A moment’s flood of ecstasy
A blinding light of pleasantry
And I awoke a lobster red
Over cooked and in my bed.

The Gods will have their little joke
Clothed within vacations cloak.

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

1 posted 2002-07-25 07:59 AM

Sitting under a roof of straw
With jungle juice that added pour
I lift my eyes mirages sun
And their chameleon was done.

Versioned mermaids on the shore
Combing hair of sea green awe.
Waving me to come and play
It's then I left my corporal way.
===================================
A moment's flood of ecstasy
A blinding light of pleasantry
And I awoke a lobster red
Over cooked and in my bed.

The Gods will have their little joke
Clothed within vacations cloak.
====================================
Stinkylove ya make me smile with your wile...
There is so many clever lines in this...
the way you tease us with the imagery and analogy ...the metaphorical word play. And as always, what I love most about your poetry is your sense of humor, wit, irony and humility that dances with your rhymes divine.

That first verse is worth its weight in poetic gold when one looks at all the intend in its words and images...

With jungle juice that added pour
I lift my eyes mirages sun
And their chameleon was done.

how cool and clever is that for setting up the theme, " mirage" "chameleon" ...
and I'm smiling here at "jungle juice"

and how cool, clever, and cute are these lines...

It's then I left my corporal way.

And I awoke a lobster red
Over cooked and in my bed.

The Gods will have their little joke
Clothed within vacations cloak.
===========================

The irony and humilty of your closing couplet is classic Sy-poetry.
So Randy got a sunburn and Stinkylove got a lesson learned

Looking forward to the next poetic snapshot of your trip. So much to see in each frame.
*winkiewinkie*

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

2 posted 2002-07-25 08:37 AM

sy, could be that little strip of beach up coast from puarta v' down mexico way

could be me in a yesterday shirt...some mellow recognizers running sir.

enjoyed this

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

3 posted 2002-07-25 08:40 AM

LOL...oh Sy...I'm so sorry....I thought you were old enough to know better, but those mermaids had to have their way, and you forgot to feel Sun's rays....

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

4 posted 2002-07-25 08:57 AM

Enjoyed my morning read from you Sy!
I am never disappointed poet sir!
You do outstanding work and
put a smile on my face every day!!
~Morning hugs~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain~

Greeneyes

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-09-09

Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

5 posted 2002-07-25 09:36 AM

I have some sun block you can borrow....

take it easy...have fun....cute write SY

Lauren~

The ocean looks like a thousand diamonds strewn across a blue blanket
I lean against the wind pretend I am weightless and in this moment I am happy

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

6 posted 2002-07-25 10:06 AM

Sy

Loved the ocean play
with sunburn as your reminder
of what a great time you had

catalinamoon

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-03

Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone

7 posted 2002-07-25 10:24 AM

This is a great vacation poem. Seems like things were perfect till that sunburn

Sandra

1slick_lady
Member Ascendant

since 2000-12-22

Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace

8 posted 2002-07-25 10:45 AM

gently passes sy, her industrial size can of solarcaine with aloe (giggling from one Floridian to another)

Nan

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-20

Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA

9 posted 2002-07-25 11:01 AM

This is soooo kewl... Envisioning Poe Lobstah Sy here...

Neeraja
Senior Member

since 2002-06-22

Posts 812
The Netherlands

10 posted 2002-07-25 11:18 AM

Dangerous!!! To fall asleep in the sun!!! But the dream softens the pain... I hope???

Neeraja

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

11 posted 2002-07-25 03:57 PM

JM,
If for no other reason then your magic comments I would write. You always take me for a flight over ego land.
Love ya, WWRS

Dark Stranger,
Your approval sooths the yearns and the burns

Sunshine,
It's all fascination.

Enchantress,
All the smiles can be future wiles.

Lauren,
Happiness can sometimes burn more then a hole in your pocket.

Martie,
Thank you sweet.

Sandra,
Wait there is more.

1slick lady,
The burn was worth your giggle.

Nan,
Yea, poe lobstah sy.

Neeaja,
Wait there is more.

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

12 posted 2002-07-25 04:40 PM

Sy took Randy Dragon on an extended vacation,
Cancun's Club Med was his dandy destination.
He intended on some relaxation and meditation,
hoping to find poetic inspiration in island isolation.

But Randy had his own idea of fun in the sun,
He hit the beach ... a dragon in dare on the run.
He stripped down bare, Sy knew the trouble had begun,
Forgive the pun but the sun toasted him like a hot cross bun.

So Randy learned a sunburn lesson he wont soon forget
And the vacation just began ... we haven't heard the best yet

Oh oh ... look at Randy go

*winkiewinkie*

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

13 posted 2002-07-25 06:16 PM

JM,
You are so cute, You always bring a smile to my mind. Your picture and little randy dragon sits just to the right of my computer. Winkiewinkie Randy Stinky.

Bill Charles
Member Patricius

since 2000-07-11

Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now

14 posted 2002-07-25 09:36 PM

Seymour - two Bahama Mama's, one beautiful woman, and a romantic vacation. Yes, it's grand...

BC

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

15 posted 2002-07-25 10:22 PM

Bill,
Thank you amigo.

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

16 posted 2002-07-25 10:58 PM

YAY!!! Oh my gosh, I love mermaids so so much, they are my favorite enchanting creature of all, I have written many of them I would love to re-post for you! (big hugggsssss) This is a delightful read as always, sweet friend, this place seems so beautiful, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Seymour, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

17 posted 2002-07-26 12:00 PM

ROFL.... Ouch!!! LOL Just what was in that potent jungle juice anyway? *G*

Seymour's new vacation deal...
One week to play, two weeks to peel! *G*

I enjoyed this very much! *S*

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-12-05

Posts 8296
Michigan

18 posted 2002-07-26 12:22 PM

Ouch!
that sounds painful, but I'm glad you didn't let it ruin your vacation, Sy...
Just think of it this way....when it peels off, you will have brand new skin underneath, and you can start fresh.
Many women go to dermatologists and pay lots of $$$$$$ to get their skin peeled so they can have a new layer without wrinkles, but you just had it done for free...so be careful with your new skin...

~ chipmunk hugs

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled" Gwendolyn Brooks

paladin

Senior Member

since 2001-08-05

Posts 930
Pensacola,Fl.

19 posted 2002-07-26 12:30 PM

I once had the idea of attaching a big spatula to a fork lift.I would use to flip
the tourist frying in the sun.

paladin

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

20 posted 2002-07-26 02:16 PM

Sy.... errrr...did we forget the SPF30?

Too many mermaids, huh?

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

21 posted 2002-07-26 02:52 PM

Noah,
Always a delight to read your replies.

Suthern,
Well it gave me time to write. LOL

Lyra,
Yes, cheepy me had it for free. LOL

Paladin,
That's a good idea. LOL

Magnus,
Yep, too many mermaids.

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-21

Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song

22 posted 2002-07-27 12:20 PM

Can't get much better enjoyment than this in poetry.....great cadence, images divine, and a couplet filled with LAUGHTER mixed with humility to end the read. Loved it. What on earth were ya thinkin' sir?ROFL

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

23 posted 2002-07-27 06:49 AM

Mermaids with green hair dear sir. Thank you Mark.

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