Open Poetry #21 |
Clockwork |
ShadowRider Senior Member
since 2001-07-14
Posts 1038USA |
Clockwork I felt the ticking before I heard it a giant pendulum swaying with a boom as it touched the sides If time ebbed slowly like a sleepy stream before it flowed now with intensity of an eager tributary anxious to be part of a great body of water with fevered entropy of purpose the arms held together shredded hours with an array of craftsmanship and masterly precision, the cams and gears, oiled and moving in faultless syncopation On those occasions that a perfect day was captured like a brilliant luna moth in a jar for perusal I could taste each second breathe each minute with grand relish and listen lovingly and in awe at the Clockwork of our hearts (Inspired by Michael Chabon) [This message has been edited by ShadowRider (06-13-2002 10:59 PM).] |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
On those occasions that a perfect day was captured like a brilliant luna moth in a jar for perusal I could taste each second breath each minute with grand relish and listen lovingly and in awe at the Clockwork of our hearts ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Love the write Jeff....especially this ending. May I ask where this clocktower is located? This one looks very special. Great write my friend. ~Hugs, Nancy~ ~Somewhere in my heart I'm always |
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ShadowRider Senior Member
since 2001-07-14
Posts 1038USA |
Thank You Nance! ~hug back~ http://romegeorgia.com/clockhis.html What a fascinating history this place has: a converted water tower in Rome, Georgia. Please take a second and look at the singlepage writeup on this famous American clocktower site. Sometimes the heart moves in perfect matching motion like the power of the pendulum that swings into motion the exquisite meshing of two heart's gears ~waving goodnight~ Jeff |
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the_loner_23 Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479Jacksonville, Florida, USA |
I feel the love. Cold hands means a warm heart |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Jeff darling heart I’m almost speechless with utter awe you have no idea how this spoke to my soul. THIS is exceptional, your writing is always superb but this is something truly awesome. While I’m waiting to get my breath back I’ll send you a dazzling smile and just so you know I utterly utterly love this The whole poem is incredible in it’s perfect construction form and language usage, but these particular lines make my soul weep for joy, they are gorgeous. with an array of craftsmanship and masterly precision, the cams and gears, oiled and moving in faultless syncopation On those occasions that a perfect day was captured like a brilliant luna moth in a jar for perusal I could taste each second breath each minute with grand relish and listen lovingly and in awe at the Clockwork of our hearts IWIHWT and how much I know that I never could, you are truly the master of this style of wonder, thank you for writing this. It’s utterly utterly perfect You do know I love this don’t you? I thought you probably did. Love and warm stuff As always Mushy Breathe through the heat of our desire Thy coolness and they balm Let sense be dumb let flesh retire Speak through the eathquake wind and fire Oh [This message has been edited by Marsha (06-15-2002 12:49 PM).] |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
Perfect moment....perfect poem...perfect writing and lovely subject... Very well done, Jeff... It must be a night for clocks. I wrote a clock one also... if you are lucky and I have done this right, you might find it by clicking Time Marching Backwards ~ timely hugs Lyra |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Just wanted to say, thanks for the link Jeff...going there now! |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
Hello. One of the most vivid treasures of your work is the rich texture of the art form. I always enjoy the richness of the topics you choose and the melody in which they are sung. ThisDiamond |
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Dulcinea Senior Member
since 2001-07-22
Posts 774IN |
Incredible depth and perception...just blows me away! ~~heartsigh~~ Beautiful darlin! A++ |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
ShadowRider Well done, enjoyed the read. |
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ShadowRider Senior Member
since 2001-07-14
Posts 1038USA |
Waiting on a late late phonecall hanging out, just being cool, I wanted to let you both know how much I appreciated your review. There IS love in these words, Loner, feelings that inspire. smiles Marcia, ~while I am blushing from toes to head and back again~ I only WISH it was perfect! Tonight's poem I posted I must have edited 5 times before I got the wording even half close to the way it should look….and even then, its not exactly the way I thought it should be. . . .sorry. . .didn't mean to go 'Anal Retentive' on ya! haha But thank you, kind dear lady, and here's hoping that your basket of life is filled with alive colors of fruit and bread of the spirit jeff |
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ShadowRider Senior Member
since 2001-07-14
Posts 1038USA |
DiamondStyle: Very very nice of you to say that, TD! Banality was never my strong suit, but have had more then a few poems trumped by my own incompetence, if you get my drift. smile Mucho Gracias, Amiga! Dulcy-Lamb: one you priceless is the gift of yourself that you offer me |
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ShadowRider Senior Member
since 2001-07-14
Posts 1038USA |
Hey Munkster!!!!!!! que pasa, amiga? Love how we wrote the twin 'time' pieces at the same time. and so it goes . . . (smilin') Thank you Lyra for your words and just being you Sey: hope you will have a super weekend and much obliged for your ongoing reading of my work. It is both flattering, and satisfying to me. . .Thankx Dude! Jeff |
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