Open Poetry #21 |
Sonnet for you |
Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
* I am involved in a poetic duel at another site and the last challenge was a Shakespearian Sonnet this was my response so I hope it fits the form. Please let me know if I've got it wrong. Thou art the breath of wind on summer's day The touch of grace that fills me with desire The one who stands to wait and come what may The darling one who fills my heart with fire Thou art more precious than the wine in cup The one for which my eyes alight anew Thou art the gift of life in blessed sup The one who shows a heart good, pure and true Thou art the gift of God in grace to me The one who knows the turning of the road Thy precious eyes of love I turn to see More blue than sky made by the mustard woad Thou art the sun, the earth, the rain the sky Thou art my love reveal'd in heartfelt sigh Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown [This message has been edited by Kethry (07-17-2002 05:41 PM).] |
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© Copyright 2002 Lynne Dale - All Rights Reserved | |||
Music Maker Member
since 2002-07-07
Posts 152THE ORIGINAL !!!! |
I probably appreciate this one Kethry, more than most, as I was born but a couple of miles away from Shakespeares birthplace!!! Sadly, I never knew him, as we went to different schools. Seriously - A true sonnet, the Great Bard would be proud of you I am sure. Kind thoughts John XX Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world. |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Keth, I know little about Sheakspeare. Sorry, it's true. But I've been in the KJV a lot. Second to last verse...third line Thou should be Thy. Awesome write and you should be whuppin' up in that duel. I love this poem. Thanks for bringing it here. If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again. |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I don't know much about form (which should be obvious to anyone reading my stuff! LOL) but I know what I like... and I like this very much... it reads smoothly and leaves a tender touch. *S* |
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SmartChick Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081On A Journey To The Unknown |
Looks like a beautiful sonnet to me. |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
Can't help you out, all I can say is that it is an awesome poem...love it Kethry ((hugs)) Charisma |
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