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Kethry
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-29

Posts 9082
Victoria Australia

0 posted 2002-07-17 09:56 AM

* I am involved in a poetic duel at another site and the last challenge was a Shakespearian Sonnet this was my response so I hope it fits the form. Please let me know if I've got it wrong.

Thou art the breath of wind on summer's day
The touch of grace that fills me with desire
The one who stands to wait and come what may
The darling one who fills my heart with fire

Thou art more precious than the wine in cup
The one for which my eyes alight anew
Thou art the gift of life in blessed sup
The one who shows a heart good, pure and true

Thou art the gift of God in grace to me
The one who knows the turning of the road
Thy precious eyes of love I turn to see
More blue than sky made by the mustard woad

Thou art the sun, the earth, the rain the sky
Thou art my love reveal'd in heartfelt sigh

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown

[This message has been edited by Kethry (07-17-2002 05:41 PM).]

Music Maker
Member

since 2002-07-07

Posts 152
THE ORIGINAL !!!!

1 posted 2002-07-17 11:18 AM

I probably appreciate this one Kethry, more than most, as I was born but a couple of miles away from Shakespeares birthplace!!!
Sadly, I never knew him, as we went to different schools.
Seriously - A true sonnet, the Great Bard would be proud of you I am sure.
Kind thoughts
John XX

Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.

Larry C

Member Patricius

since 2001-09-10

Posts 10286
United States

2 posted 2002-07-17 11:50 AM

Keth,
I know little about Sheakspeare. Sorry, it's true. But I've been in the KJV a lot. Second to last verse...third line Thou should be Thy. Awesome write and you should be whuppin' up in that duel. I love this poem. Thanks for bringing it here.

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

3 posted 2002-07-17 05:17 PM

I don't know much about form (which should be obvious to anyone reading my stuff! LOL) but I know what I like... and I like this very much... it reads smoothly and leaves a tender touch. *S*

SmartChick
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-09-23

Posts 7081
On A Journey To The Unknown

4 posted 2002-07-17 05:26 PM

Looks like a beautiful sonnet to me.

Charisma

Member Ascendant

since 2000-09-30

Posts 5906
lost in blue pages

5 posted 2002-07-17 05:28 PM

Can't help you out, all I can say is that it is an awesome poem...love it Kethry

((hugs))
Charisma

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