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Larry C

Member Patricius

since 2001-09-10

Posts 10286
United States

0 posted 2002-07-17 02:08 AM

Toerag’s Confession
By Larry Chadwick

The guilt was more than he could take,
So Toerag went to confess his mistake.
Off to church he went to make his confession,
He was overwhelmed, it was truly an obsession.

He entered the small space and then sat down,
So disturbed he was wearing a serious frown.
The curtain was pulled back as it all began,
Toe had no idea that LongJohnAg was the man.

Bless me for I have sinned again,
It goes on and on it seems there is no end.
It is so bad that now there is a rumor,
They say I have a sick sense of humor.

Why that’s no sin said LongJohnAg,
Trying to comfort the distraught Toerag.
The worst part is it is more than likely true,
That’s the reason I am feeling oh so blue.

My sin may be that I am obsessed,
Consumed by what I am possessed.
There is this poet that I truly fear,
You may know him he is the Balladeer.

I’m losing sleep and seldom go to work,
I have bordered on becoming quite a jerk.
My every waking thought consumes me,
And I post them on the net for absolutely free.

All I really want to do is denegrate the man,
I’m obsessed by trying to come up with a plan.
But I must confess that I have failed Father dear,
For each time I try I’m out done by the Balladeer.

LongJohnAg thought for quite a long spell,
He was contemplating what he thought of hell.
But he gave in and offered his services to Toe,
For he had failed as well, I thought you’d want to know!
July 16, 2002

[This message has been edited by Larry C (07-17-2002 02:09 AM).]

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

1 posted 2002-07-17 03:14 AM

OMG - this was hilarious

Oh, your rhyming is good Sir, I enjoyed the story, the fun, and the great poem.

Nothing means more to me than faith,
family and my friends.

Proud Canadian

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

2 posted 2002-07-17 06:44 AM

Oh, tread ye lightly into the fray of battle, Sire...for it is fraught with poetic rampage, and the blood of the quill strikes deep!

Toerag
Member Ascendant

since 1999-07-29

Posts 5622
Ala bam a

3 posted 2002-07-17 07:59 AM

Dear Larry C
You will quickly see,
That your poem 'bout my confession,
Will be a learned lesson!!

But it was cute.....oh so cute....I mean just adorable...wonderfully written, well thought out, but consequences are forth-coming......

Music Maker
Member

since 2002-07-07

Posts 152
THE ORIGINAL !!!!

4 posted 2002-07-17 09:06 AM

ROFLMAO !!!! I am stuck for words!!!! But you are obviously not.
Thank you for starting my morning with not just a smile or grin, but a full blown Gaffaw!!!
John

Grass won't grow under feet that don't move.

Kethry
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-29

Posts 9082
Victoria Australia

5 posted 2002-07-17 09:59 AM

Larry,
living dangerously I see.
Kethry

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

6 posted 2002-07-17 10:03 AM

Ah, Larry... I'd have to be chastising you for hiding behind LJA's skirts... if I wasn't laughing so hard at the thought of him being a priest! LOL

You may think that Bal's the best
And join his crowd of minions
Just remember what they say
About having opinions! LOL

SmartChick
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-09-23

Posts 7081
On A Journey To The Unknown

7 posted 2002-07-17 11:37 AM

This is so funny, Larry. I enjoyed this so much.

Larry C

Member Patricius

since 2001-09-10

Posts 10286
United States

8 posted 2002-07-17 11:44 AM

Sharon,
Well...cool. I'm glad you enjoyed my fun. Thanks.

Karilea,
Ya' know...it's just ink, they'll live.

And thanks.

Toe,
If there were no consequences...what would be the point. I was 13 the first time I made a choice knowing I would pay. It was worth it then and it is worth it now!

Thanks.

John,
You made my day too! Thanks.

Keth,
Yup...back on the edge again! Ain't it great? Thanks dear.

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

Larry C

Member Patricius

since 2001-09-10

Posts 10286
United States

9 posted 2002-07-17 11:46 AM

suthern,
My mom warned me about that! But then again, she did encourage it.

Thanks.

Sue,
Always a pleasure to put a smile on your face. Good morning. Hope you have a great day!

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

10 posted 2002-07-17 09:45 PM

Thank you very much, good sir,
For taking time to mention
That Toerag in his beaten state
Seeks holy intervention.

It will do him little good
To count on hope and prayers.
He should know that he's outclassed
Among the "real" players.

And LongJohn is a preacher now?
A man of scriptures?.....Please!!!
Well, both of them are very used
To being on their knees!!!

This was great, Larry!

The truth may hurt but, as long as it only hurts Toerag, that;s ok

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

11 posted 2002-07-17 09:51 PM

LOL! Oh my gosh, I never thought LongJohn would come to this, well Toerag appears to have failed most of all this time, he could sure have use a baptizing right now! LOL! This is delightful, sweet friend, I love it, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Larry, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Krissy
Senior Member

since 2002-02-22

Posts 556
kent England

12 posted 2002-07-17 09:54 PM

Larry Hi there Finally I can get on here to reply to your wonderful poem, you have no idea how inconvenient are mum’s computer problems. How could she kill it like that I do not know.

This is an excellent I laughed so hard I almost broke the keyboard. don’t ask but imagine me with a mouth of coffee and you have the idea I’m always overjoyed to see your name, because I know it will be a great poem and this is really really good. And so funny, that is why I say you bring good cheer. Thank you for this one

Love and warm stuff
As always
Krissy

And while thy willing soul transpiers
at every pore with instant fires
Andrew Marvell 1621-1678

[This message has been edited by Krissy (07-17-2002 09:55 PM).]

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-12-05

Posts 8296
Michigan

13 posted 2002-07-17 10:35 PM

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!
This is so very funny, Larry..
Its so good to see you all having fun with the Almighty.

~ hugs of confession

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled" Gwendolyn Brooks

Larry C

Member Patricius

since 2001-09-10

Posts 10286
United States

14 posted 2002-07-17 11:29 PM

'Deer,
You're gonna make me tell aren't you. LJA is an imposter. He couldn't help himself he had to figure out what was on Toe's mind.

Thanks for being part of the fun.

Noah,
LOL Funny those ideas! I love it. Thanks. :.

Krissy,
You are the sweetest thing. When I come to England some day I want to meet you. You're so kind. Thanks. It was kind of fun huh?

Lyra,
Too funny. Didn't realize that was it.

But it was fun.

Thanks.

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

Bridget Shenachie
Senior Member

since 2002-01-23

Posts 1056
Kansas USA

15 posted 2002-07-18 12:36 PM

Hi Larry C!

You tossed your hat into the ring.
Don't let them hand you your head.
We'll soon find out who is the King
As we follow this well-read thread.

Shenachie

Kellie_Cantrell
Senior Member

since 2002-05-22

Posts 1667
New York

16 posted 2002-07-18 12:40 PM

Larry-
That was too funny. I am sore from laughing so hard. Cute. Good thing toerag was able to not take the poem offensively. I like the poem. Toerag and balladeer are soooo funny with their stuff at eachother.

-Kellie

Larry C

Member Patricius

since 2001-09-10

Posts 10286
United States

17 posted 2002-07-18 04:24 AM

Shenachie,
Funny how everybody is so concerned.

Nobody asks if I care if they get my head.

Kellie,
Toe can take it as good as he dishes it. And he dishes it real good! Thanks for the fun.

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

Bridget Shenachie
Senior Member

since 2002-01-23

Posts 1056
Kansas USA

18 posted 2002-07-18 10:21 AM

Hi Larry!

Do you care if they get your head?

Okay, okay, we'll quit worrying about you. We should have more confidence in our friend.
We just like you and we'll keep rooting for you.

Shenachie

Marsha

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-10

Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England

19 posted 2002-07-18 10:55 AM

Larry darling boy, this is soooooo funny I’ve split my sides, and must now go and pull myself together. Truly delightful there is nothing like laughter to keep a place alive with joy, and that is something you dish out with regularity. I love it utterly utterly and thank you for writing it. I’m really laughing here.
Love and warm stuff
As always
Mushy

Breathe through the heat of our desire
Thy coolness and they balm
Let sense be dumb let flesh retire
Speak through the earthquake wind and fire

Goodknight
Member Elite

since 2002-06-15

Posts 2386
Ohio, USA

20 posted 2002-07-18 11:05 AM

this is so funny and well written - it lights the fireworks that I am sure will begin - loved it - paul

Larry C

Member Patricius

since 2001-09-10

Posts 10286
United States

21 posted 2002-07-18 05:19 PM

Shenachie.
Nope...I don't! It's on the theory of nothing times nothing still equals nothing. LMBO And thanks for the cheers. Ya' know if there were no response there would be no motivation to do this, right?

Thanks, always.

Mushy,
Wench - comedian, they're all good services.

Glad to make you smile. And thanks.

Paul,
Hey, so you'll know, the fireworks are always smoldering.

Thanks for the kind words.

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

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