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Balladeer
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since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

0 posted 2002-07-16 06:00 PM



Toerag and his girlfriend had a picnic just last week.
(Don't ask me how he got one - Toe was always such a geek).
While they were sitting on the blanket Toe looked up and spied
A spaceship from another planet landing by their side.

A male and a female climbed out of the alien craft.
They saw the look of pure amazement on Toe's face and laughed.
They said, "Don't be alarmed. We are what you call girl and boy
And came to Earth to study mating habits you employ."

Toe then looked at his girlfriend (alien chick looked REAL hot!)
His girl was eyeing up the guy and said to Toe, "Why not?"
So she went off with alien guy - the girl went off with Toe
Deciding they would meet back there in half an hour or so.

So she was with the alien guy. Although he was quite tall
When he took off his tunic she could see that he was SMALL!
"Whadda gonna do with that is what I'd like to know...
If I had wanted size like that I could have stayed with Toe!!"

"You wish it larger?, he exclaimed. "Perhaps three times that size?"
Then twisted his right ear and it grew right before her eyes!!
"My God! Oh, yes! That's perfect....but it's skinny now!", she cried.
He twisted his left ear and it became three times as wide!

She could contain herself no longer, threw the fellow down
And, for an hour, the alien and earthling went to town!!!
She'd never been so satisfied. Her face was all aglow
As back they went to reunite with alien girl and Toe.

The aliens then got in their ship and waved farewell goodbye
Then shot straight up and disappeared into the summer sky.
Toe then looked at his girlfriend smiling....face was still aglow,
And, in a quite defensive voice, said, "Well? How did it go?"

She said, "It was the greatest feeling I have ever known!
I've never met another who could make me cry and moan.
I can't begin to tell you all the joy that I went through.
How sad that I have only been with losers such as you!"

"Hrrmmpphh!", said Toe. "Well, I showed her that earthmen know their stuff.
The poor gal went so crazy she just couldn't get enough!
She clawed at me and pulled at me, her face almost in tears.
Her passion was so great she almost twisted off my ears!!!

© Copyright 2002 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved
Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
1 posted 2002-07-16 06:03 PM


I remember this one you sly old dog....good write....I hate you....LOL
Mistletoe Angel
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since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
2 posted 2002-07-16 06:06 PM




(giggles in delight) Looks like our question has been answered; and Toerag proved to be their ideal specimen! (smiles) Oh my, when will this ever end, this series always cracks me up, I love it, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Balladeer, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton


"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

[This message has been edited by Mistletoe Angel (07-16-2002 06:07 PM).]

Charisma
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since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906
lost in blue pages
3 posted 2002-07-16 06:07 PM


whooooohoooooooooo ohhhhh myyyyy this is wayyyyyy to cute, clever right...oh my, can't stop laughing.



Charisma

Music Maker
Member
since 2002-07-07
Posts 152
THE ORIGINAL !!!!
4 posted 2002-07-16 06:22 PM


Long may this duel of verbal reparte continue!!! The fencing commenced with foils, now we are into full blown cutlasses.
If wit and humour (English spelling!) could have a monetary value, surely you would be richer than Gill Bates !!!
Kind thoughts
John

Grass won't grow under feet that don't move.

Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
5 posted 2002-07-16 06:57 PM


I love it when you're duelling
even when you're fooling
I love your tales of derring do
and all the ones that make me blue
but by far this is the best
when you and Toe are matching quests

very funny

Keth

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown



SmartChick
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081
On A Journey To The Unknown
6 posted 2002-07-16 07:04 PM


Oh my gosh, Balladeer1 LOL! You can sure tell the stories.
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
7 posted 2002-07-16 08:55 PM



Threpeat...OK!!!!

Goodknight
Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386
Ohio, USA
8 posted 2002-07-16 09:00 PM


oh Mr Balladeer - this is so funny I can't stop laughing - just a great poem and a great story - thanks Paul
Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
9 posted 2002-07-16 09:13 PM


HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I guess there was a full moon or two that night

This is so hilarious, Michael...
I can't stop laughing......ouch...I have a stitch in my side.
~ big laughing hugs

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
10 posted 2002-07-16 09:16 PM


Nobody tells 'em like you 'Deer...nobody!
This is too funny!
~Hugs~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain~

Magnus
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Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
11 posted 2002-07-16 09:23 PM


Oh gosh,  come on 'deer....leave poor little,
no pun intended....toe alone.....

Surely he is quite the man we think of him as being....


andEmmamakes3
Member
since 2002-05-11
Posts 66
Kent
12 posted 2002-07-16 10:34 PM


’Deer hi there this is the funniest thing I’ve read this week, you always make me laugh out loud. I’m not supposed to be here actually but mum left me to the computer so I’m taking my chance. I haven’t really had an opportunity since she killed her one. So I’m grabbing this one chance while I can.

As always superb writing and I’m grinning from ear to ear. Brilliant writing you never miss a beat with these. Wonderful stuff

Lots of love
Emma

Eternity, stands laughing at old time
for ages? In the grand ancestral line
Of things eternal, mounting to divine

D.Lester Young
Senior Member
since 2001-12-08
Posts 1219
Austin, Tx
13 posted 2002-07-16 10:53 PM


A most excellent write, much enjoyed. You created one heck of a smile!!
Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182
Netherlands
14 posted 2002-07-17 01:38 AM



I will be grinning all day Deer, this one is just great

Titia

Like scattered leaves...my words will flow

Larry C
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
United States
15 posted 2002-07-17 01:50 AM


'Deer,
Bravo.

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
16 posted 2002-07-17 09:50 AM


Now you know what it does to me to see a title like that! *pant pant* And I'm at WORK, for heaven's sake!!! *G*

ROFL...

Fantasies employed
(It's sure hot in here) *EG*
But I must go back to reading...
Poem's greatly enjoyed
Ya done good, ole Deer
But bandages you'll be needing! LOL


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