Open Poetry #21 |
...it will never wake up... |
shadowchild458 Member
since 2002-07-10
Posts 117MN,USA |
a dislodged train of thoughts not really sure where it goes as it turns the bend the fog comes and i'm lost again in my own world can't find my way back anymore though the door is open i can't manuver through the dark a candle won't help with the dust and the dirt and the mold enveloping my mind and my thoughts waiting and waiting i sit down to think and fall asleep with my mind unaware it will never wake up and i'll never come out to the world again never see the smiles ever again never come out of the darkness killing my brain is this thing they like to call a coma |
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© Copyright 2002 Abby - All Rights Reserved | |||
Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
(sigh) Wow, this is a very haunting but wonderful debut, sweet friend, here you can always share your powerful thoughts and feelings in which we will all happily guide you with inspiration and feedback as we watch you grow! Welcome to Passions, sweet friend, may you be inspired by all of us here as we will all be inspired by your lovely words! (sigh) I can't wait to read more of your lovely words, sweet friend, we all love you so much! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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RosePetal
since 2001-08-26
Posts 2985South Florida |
very interesting poem...Welcome to passions, get comfortable and enjoy! Please check your e-mail for a special greeting |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
At first your poem brought me to the idea of an idea never waking up, never being fulfilled, then you U-turned on me with the idea of a coma. Good writing. Looking forward to more. Welcome to Passions! Karilea |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
very interesting concept turned into a wonderful poem. welcome to passions, enjoy your stay. We are friendly here! Enjoy life, this is NOT a dress rehearsal. |
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Goodknight Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386Ohio, USA |
haunting first poem - well written - look forward to more - welcome - Paul |
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Cerenity Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 2637Escondido-California |
Hi Shadowchild, I liked the vividness you painted with your words, very nice and welcome to Passions, Love, Cerenity |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
A good write ShadowChild and I thank you4the enjoyed read... *~coco~* |
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