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I want a bass
| Open Poetry #21 |
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I want a bass |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855
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Ah, to give this song a low rage, a quiet urgency of surge. To thrum out strums of storms, a wind of rain in low E. To become the noise of sea. I'd harmonize the shore. Find its fingers in my shapes. Find its shape in my fingers. Find the warmth of sun in sand. Play the sky, an open church. Watching light born from their pegs. Wood-strung notes held to my heart. Swallowing surrounding shadows to press them smoothly to your ears. Ah, to give this song a low rage, a quiet urgency of surge... These smiling eyes are just a mirror for the sun. |
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Anvrill Senior Member
since 2002-06-21
Posts 710in the interzone now |
Now... Is this my cue to write more TSTC? Because I was about to write the interview chapter.  And baby, a man with a guitar, especially a bass, may be the sexiest image on the face of the planet, but th' learning of it and the paying off of the instrument will take much time and frustration. "Es ist Folter, aber ich bin fast dort." Robert Smith's Torture in Deutsch. |
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Krissy Senior Member
since 2002-02-22
Posts 556kent England |
Mike hi there this is so well written I love the image and the sound that simply flowed off the page here, excellent writing my friend. Wonderful imagery and you have the sound so perfect that I swear I could hear the thrumming here. I like this a lot well done   Love and warm stuff As always Krissy And while thy willing soul transpiers |
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mable_sue Junior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 25Iowa |
Rocks! Very sensual. I would a one more adjective to the line that starts with swallowing to complete the rythms of the poem...as you have already perfected the rythms of your words. Liz |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
To thrum out strums of storms, a wind of rain in low E. To become the noise of sea. I'd harmonize the shore. Find its fingers in my shapes. Find its shape in my fingers. Find the warmth of sun in sand. Play the sky, an open church. ====================================== you already do all these things with pen in hand....youre a rock and roll poet.  ever seen a butterfly strum?  http://community.webshots.com/photo/1952809/8815359ZWGeNwajjN We wish ourselves beautiful ... and cry in the night. |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
This (rat cheer) is wut ah like best. (right here) Watching light born from their pegs. Wood-strung notes held to my heart. Swallowing surrounding shadows to press them smoothly to your ears. Ah, to give this song a low rage, a quiet urgency of surge... Bumm b bu bu ba bum ~weanx "Writing is a perfectly natural thing to do...provided it's done in private and you wash your hands afterward"....Heinlein. |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Glad you all enjoyed my idle time at work.Thanks for the rhythm there, wranx. Janet, there's a whole orchard of bugs like that in California. (oh wait, would it be orchard?) And uh .... to everyone else, thank you. Completely out of order, I know -- I should've opened the message in another screen before replying. And Lori, I used to play bass every once and again when Chris was goin' nutso on his guitar. I know I need more practice though, which is why I want one. And yr speaking to someone who played piano from age 9 to age 20 something. So I understand th' sweat and frustration that goes int' makin' music. But you knew that. Love y'. These smiling eyes are just a mirror for the sun. |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
BSquirrel~ This is just wonderful ! Hope you get your bass~ My fella's serenading me right now .... Ahhhhhhhhh, how lucky can this gal get ? *Hugs* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Ah good, JanetMarie found you a Dobro...I grew up with a Dobro...and it still sounds good, after all these years... |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Mike I was going to give you the secret of my best fishing spot so you could catch you a bass...until I read your poem. I have played piano for years..and guitar, but the bass does have charm. Enjoyed this! |
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Greeneyes 
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
"Play the sky, an open church" A W E S O M E!! what an inspiring line... you are awesome sir!!Lauren~ Emeralds from mountains |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Glad you all enjoyed my dreams.These smiling eyes are just a mirror for the sun. |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
Mmmhumm. I like this one, I can hear the bass strumming through the words. Very nice. Nan |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
At first? I thought you wanted a FISH...I was scratching me head in my best "huh?" stance! Okay...it's a deal, I've got a lovely Takamine with a built in pick up--the boyfriend has a "strat" but won't allow me to play it--it's autographed.  I want Jan and doreen for back up vocals and I happen to know a rare breed of drummer--he shows on time and has a good attitude (he says he didn't get the memo regarding all drummers being...shall we say "an anal orifice") awesomely cool write, Mike. I know the groove of feeling like this...wow man, I'm LIKE, feeling SO retro-sixties, now!  |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Thanks, Pilgrimage. And Sen, seeing as I was born in Dec. 1976, I cannot relate. But I can pretend t'...And that would be a rockin' band. Lori can provide vocals, too. And she can also take over the whole thing so slowly, you won't even notice. That would be a lot of fun, actually... Much love. Mikey These smiling eyes are just a mirror for the sun. -RHCP [This message has been edited by bsquirrel (07-03-2002 06:41 PM).] |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Nice low rage and quiet urgency of surge....written like that...I enjoyed it muchly!! [This message has been edited by ethome (07-03-2002 08:00 PM).] |
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devina Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539Cali |
Ok..so I'm *creepin* in a bit late on this one... You are close enough to come jam with my hubby...(he might even share the 'tars a time or two)And um..all I know is A minor??? From one of my favorite Stevie N songs...sure you know the one... *just like a white winged dove...* Now I've got an image of what? The Christmas song... "all I want for Christmas is my baaa--aaa---ssss" *grins* enjoyed this Mikey man... ~Tanya Open arms can be the most fragile in the world... |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
This really is totally awesome, Mr.Squirrel... I could actually feelthe sounds of this poem. ~ furry rodent hugsLyra |
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Krishankins
since 2002-06-23
Posts 972Texas |
This is so good, I'd get you a bass if I could. Nice one Mike!! Krishankins A bird never flies so high that it can't hit the ground |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
Ah, to give this song a low rage, a quiet urgency of surge... ...a blues sax in the background. Damn good write. Forgetting all I'm lacking |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
always been partial to D-flat myself. . . love this one. . .the connection between musician and instrument. . . one that I know well. . . --------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
the bass makes the song like you make this board a pleasure to visit. |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
not much more I can add..the fans have said it all..*s hugs M |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
After all the superlatives have been used... what can I say...? Except I'm glad this poem wasn't about you wanting a fish! ~Hugs~ ~Somewhere in my heart I'm always |
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Anvrill Senior Member
since 2002-06-21
Posts 710in the interzone now |
Hm, let's bring this back. I do want you to have a bass, btw. So then you move up here, we secretly kill the members of Tyler's *other* band (dern cheating li'l idjit; and how does Barrkode come across any better than Eternity's Dawn, anyway?), and we'l have bass, guitar, piano, and vocals, and three people to fight over who all gets to do what! Hmm... Three composers, three lyricists, three vocalists, two pianists, two bassists (yes, Tyler plays--badly), and ... I think that's it. This little rant brought to you by: LL Hager's Insomnia! Let's all hear it for Lori's insomnia, shall we? Yay! Yay!  Augh, my bed isn't even pretending to be comfortable. Somebody shoot me with a tranquilizer, please. Get a bass awready, baby. "Es ist Folter, aber ich bin fast dort." Robert Smith's Torture in Deutsch. |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Thanks, everyone! And Lori, you're too cute for words.She said burn ... together. |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
oh I love this, I have never felt the urge to play an instrument, but after reading this, I feel I am missing out on a wonderful part of life......wonderful write |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Oh yes, music is magical when you practice it enough. Thanks, jb. She said burn ... together. |
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