Open Poetry #21 |
I Sit Here Kinda Dazed I Guess............. |
Jon Mewett Senior Member
since 2000-03-04
Posts 1304 |
I sit here kinda dazed I guess A bottle in my hand The foaming sea has washed away Our footprints in the sand The burning sun has left its mark The truth it burns inside I walk along and kick the stones Into the rushing tide It started out like glories flame A beacon on my heart Calling out to all who saw The gates of heaven were apart It was as though we’d fallen Into fields of swaying corn But I shoulda known the gentle breeze Was a warning before the storm If I could take this fateful day And hang it on a hook If I could remember all I’ve learned And write it in a book If I could only take it back And live my time again I’d bend just like a willow tree And wouldn’t mind the rain Refrain You see true love Only comes but once a while And you gotta know that when it does You gotta laugh before you smile Jon Mewett Just wondered what you guys think of this lyric for a new song.........stay warm Jon All these moments In time Will be Lost Like Tears in the rain [This message has been edited by Jon Mewett (07-03-2002 05:54 AM).] |
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© Copyright 2002 Jon Mewett - All Rights Reserved | |||
Krishankins
since 2002-06-23
Posts 972Texas |
"I'd bend just like a Willow tree And wouldn't mind the rain" Nice visual. I like the words. For a love song, of course. Nice write! Krishankins A bird never flies so high that it can't hit the ground |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
very nice for a song...and a poem too |
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Elan Member
since 2002-05-03
Posts 382State of Wide Eye |
Jon! It has been a long time since last we saw a refrain from you...welcome home...Enjoyed the write... |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Jon, so nice to read you again!! This would make a wonderful love song..Enjoyed! Hope you can stay awhile... ~Hugs~ ~Somewhere in my heart I'm always |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Jon, I agree, this is a great song. Sandra |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Very nice...James |
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mable_sue Junior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 25Iowa |
I'd be rocking to this. I have a hard time with lyrics. My only criticism would have to lie in your title....make it mysterious so I am suprised by what follows. Wish I could hear it to the music in your head. Thanks, Liz |
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Jon Mewett Senior Member
since 2000-03-04
Posts 1304 |
Thanx everybody.........your input is much appreciated.........point taken on the title...the actual song will be titled.......'Laugh Before You Smile'which is a little more interesting don't you think? I have also slightly rewritten the above!! I will let you know when it's recorded.....until then........Stay Warm!! Jon All these moments In time Will be Lost Like Tears in the rain [This message has been edited by Jon Mewett (07-03-2002 05:56 AM).] |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Jon, Beautiful words. Now build the melody to contain it. Mike |
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Yu Lan Senior Member
since 2000-04-13
Posts 1462New Zealand |
I think they are beautiful! I like the "I guess" bit best I guess.. -Lynne It's nice to share - kiss someone when you have a cold. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
I can hear it now! just beautiful! |
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