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Open Poetry #21
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beautiful skies
| Open Poetry #21 |
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beautiful skies |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore 
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you said "but skies are the same everywhere" far settled into the mundaneness of living and the relentless pursuit of material stuff, I stammered how I couldn't remember the specifics but knew myself to be correct And indeed I was The skies abroad are prettier than those in Singapore~ Perhaps it was the way huge white clouds occupied the entire sky, leaving scant traces of blue Perhaps it was the way I could observe clouds in their entirety, unhindered by high-rise buildings Perhaps it was the way how the highlands, enveloped in mist, romantically complemented the sky I knew better but it was no use flaunting my knowledge when you weren't around to share |
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| © Copyright 2002 heng kaile - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
loved this..and it shouldn't be so far down here.. How grave is my condition, for I cannot find the words to say, I need you so. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Enjoyed...James |
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cherrypoptart Member
since 2002-06-09
Posts 109state of wordthiness |
Very nice. I like the thoughts. |
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mycafe Senior Member
since 2002-05-23
Posts 584 |
I can identify with your thoughts here. Very interesting poem here  mycafe Keep counting your blessings |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
the sense of loss in this is so subtle, that one almost misses it. . . it appears on the surface that the poet is ruminating about the sky. . . when, in fact. . . he is missing his heart. . . great work my friend. . . well done. . . ------------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
[revised] you insisted "skies are the same everywhere" already acclimated as a lab rat relentlessly working the treadmill, I stammered how I couldn't remember the specifics but knew myself to be correct And indeed I was the skies abroad are prettier than those in our country~ Perhaps it was the way how I could admire clouds for miles beyond humble view, unhindered by cold hard steel Perhaps it was the way how clouds decorated the blue, like showcases from the divine chest Perhaps it was the way fluffy white dazzled with dynamic formations, changing subtly to tease this riveted viewer Perhaps it was the way how lush highlands, enveloped in mist, romantically complemented the sky I knew better now but it was no use flaunting my sumg knowledge when you weren't around to share |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
there are some parts of the first version I like better. I preferred that you wrote Singapore, as it underscored how the sky view is blocked in all modern downtown cities full of high rises, like Denver, Los Angeles, and I'm sure...NY and Tokyo.  but I enjoyed both, kaile |
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