Open Poetry #21 |
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Carnival of Fools - for Tracie |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia ![]() |
My heart takes me back as I wander through the labyrinth pathways ichored with confusion of the past I will not mount those steeds of false gaiety with their rampant eyes and guerrilla lips who offer no warmth to the traveller and no destination to the journey The kaleidoscopic colours of the reflective glass do not compel me with their gaudy signs and their rankling dreams The calliope that plays my song holds in trust a dirge of wanting as the faceless wave of the future carouses across my soul Not for me the laughter edged in bitterness and brittle with sorrow for I have my own shades who hover waiting for the carnival to end for the ship of fools to sail I shall board and go with them Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
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© Copyright 2002 Lynne Dale - All Rights Reserved | |||
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
The kaleidoscopic colours of the reflective glass do not compel me with their gaudy signs and their rankling dreams The calliope that plays my song holds in trust a dirge of wanting as the faceless wave of the future carouses across my soul ================================= Impressive write of theme, metaphor and vocabualry Keth...youve got some really cool images and analogies here. Powerful write of angst on the edge. Your writing continues to grow...free verse suits your expressions well. peace and poetry ![]() jm When your own emptiness is all thats getting through, |
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Marsha![]()
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Keth beloved sister of my heart and keeper of my soul’s secrets, how can you do this so well and so consistently your writing is never anything less than perfect, when you show your range, which is phenomenal, you really illume the page. What can I say about the wonder that this is, it’s image laden and perfect flow is outstandingly good. The fact it is a darker poem than is your wont is obvious, what might not be apparent to all who read you is the sheer brilliance you manage to combine of your own unique style and others more famed for their darker poetry. Her writing is good, and yours is superior, yes I am slightly biased, but only because your writing deserve all the accolades I can heap on you. I love your writing utterly utterly ![]() ![]() ![]() I wub you too Love and warm stuff As always Mushy ![]() ![]() Breathe through the heat of our desire |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Fantastic Kethry! Great imagery! ~Hugs~ ~Somewhere in my heart I'm always |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Keth, Your talent is showing in this one. Excellent. |
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Krissy Senior Member
since 2002-02-22
Posts 556kent England |
Auntie Kethp mum said to be sure to check out your free verse and she is not wrong if I had missed these gems I’d be kicking myself forever. You are inarguably one of the best poets on this site, when you write FV you are stretching as a poet and I love to see it. Mum, adores your writing, but her forte isn’t FV, that’s not to say she can’t appreciate it, she just struggles with writing it. I wouldn’t say I’m an expert not by a long way when you consider how much a newbie I am, but I do seem to have an affinity with FV. This is so well presented, the flow, is extremely good, the feel of the piece, is carried in each word, and you don’t slip up once in the conceptual manifestation. Ignore me I’ve been reading W H Auden again Without gushing as my darling mummy does, I shall simply say this is excellent writing If you want gush it’s utterly utterly wonderful ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Love and warm stuff As always Krissy And while thy willing soul transpiers |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
Not for me the laughter edged in bitterness and brittle with sorrow for I have my own shades who hover waiting for the carnival to end for the ship of fools to sail Oh.....just so very beautiful, Keth... ![]() Lyra |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
ahhhhh, Lyra stole my favorite verse....I could join you there... very very nice images hugs M |
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Mistletoe Angel![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
![]() (big hugggssssss) Oh Lyra, I can feel angst in these words yet I can also sense a boon of determination also, sweet friend, yes, always go about things your own way and never let the ghosts of lifes carnivals taunt you! (sigh) This is excellent, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Kethry, thank you for sharing! ![]() May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Kethry! You're stretching! Doesn't it FEEL good? |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Good writing..... "The calliope that plays my song holds in trust a dirge of wanting as the faceless wave of the future" Ain't you gettin good! |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
Traitor! It's not like there's a lot of really great rhymed poetry out here, you know, and now you run off with the majority and go free verse on me! Well, I never! But maybe I should have. Hmmm. And it's not as if you did a tentative little mealy-mouthed poem either. This one rocks. You should be ashamed, but I expect you're all proud of yourself just because it's so excellent. Nan |
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Larry C![]()
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Yup...I'm with Nan. ![]() Show you care to those you love...today. |
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Bridget Shenachie Senior Member
since 2002-01-23
Posts 1056Kansas USA |
Sounds like my ship has come in. When does it sail? Enjoyed. ![]() Shenachie |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Thanks everyone, I've been struggling with Sylvia Plath because although she had some fantastic phrases the breaks appear to me to be in the wrong places so I thought I would see if I could make sense of her work by mimicking her style. I don't know successful this is but I'm glad there are so many positive responses. Kethry Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
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suthern![]() ![]()
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I like this poem very much, Kethry. *S* Such magnificent phrases... such affirmation that the temptations will not persuade you from another path: "I will not mount those steeds of false gaiety" and "Not for me the laughter edged in bitterness and brittle with sorrow"... I love these powerful declarations. *S* Well written! |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
I loved your phrasing and imagery throughout Kethry ... this is a wonderful write, much enjoyed! ![]() Best wishes, /Kit |
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