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Open Poetry #20
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two women, alone
| Open Poetry #20 |
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two women, alone |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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"you know," she said, and she sat nervous, hands in twitch of twine of yarn-- I don't believe I'd seen that done-- the balling up of life undone... and like the literature in gaze just like the movies she portrayed she sat and rolled herself apart-- and licked the frays of fingered heart. "I thought--" she said. She hesitated... "I knew.." she sighed. I knew. I waited. "I couldn't let him down you know..." I worked the knots of yarn let go. I fed the strand to nervous hand as she balled up all her strife... "I wish..." she said in tremor's stand, "I wish that I could knit my life." [This message has been edited by serenity (04-26-2002 02:53 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2002 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
don't we all.. I really liked the way you thought this one out M |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
ms serenity you blend a pair they share the same thoughts the same body they are one of a kind enjoyed it |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
hands in twitch of twine of yarn-- I don't believe I'd seen that done-- the balling up of life undone... and like the literature in gaze just like the movies she portrayed she sat and rolled herself apart-- and licked the frays of fingered heart. ==================================== gawwwd I love the way your mind in rhyme works....could those lines and metaphors be any cooler? And you know I am loving the conversational format of this ( what a relief--someone else's muse hears voices too)   very very cool write me twin...love the bittersweet wisdom of the end ... and, only you could make knitting this cool.  |
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Professor Gloom Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082of Depression |
When I read your poetry I hear other voices Adding to the richness that is there already Such as:
Hope you don’t mind If the voices read along. Gloom [This message has been edited by Professor Gloom (04-26-2002 08:28 AM).] |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
are you kidding? I wish I could claim each voice on a tax return!!!!!! I wish, in fact, that everything, was ME...yummies> |
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SmittenKitten Senior Member
since 2001-06-20
Posts 1131where the sky and horizon meet |
Serenity~ You are so cool K Your poems are so uniquely you...I'd pick one out anywhere! This poem is so profound and touching....it's going into my library so I can print it out and read it again and again.*hugs* ~Krista  Your beautiful words & creativity allow me to connect with the same in myself. |
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SmittenKitten Senior Member
since 2001-06-20
Posts 1131where the sky and horizon meet |
Woops...  That check mark will be the end of me! |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Karen What a great concept! I really enjoyed this. |
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Soleil Noir Senior Member
since 2001-12-19
Posts 688USA |
This has a deep ache to it and for some reason, that particular rent in the fabric of this life shall never quite be the same... |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
serenity Wonders upon wonders I am jealous of this one Excellent.  |
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ecrivan Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923my own state |
and a wonderful knit of words this is liked the hand imagery too  |
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Opeth Senior Member
since 2001-12-13
Posts 1543The Ravines |
I had to read it twice...quite original and fresh ~ excellent use of metaphors to describe the poem's story. well done. |
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devina Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539Cali |
Loved your saying so much in this round about way...think it's time for a night out...(you should be on your way to Cali right now!) *G This speaks volumes me sis...was a pleasure as always!!! Open arms can be the most fragile in the world... |
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Krawdad Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597 |
way cool, k. really like this one. "Grab a pen, grab some paper, do yourself a little favor." e |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
My favorite poem of yours. But -- am I the only one who sees this? -- this has nothing to do with two women knitting. (otherwise wouldn't it be called two women, knitting?) Hmm.... (imagination overdrive!!!) Anyway, loved it! [This message has been edited by bsquirrel (04-26-2002 03:06 PM).] |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
what colors would you knit your life in?? and, what kind of a stitch would you use?? (I ask great questions huh??) excellent. . . I see that you've been flying and wondering yourself. . . ------------------------------------------------------ To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
wow. Thank you, all of you. Sometimes it's the simplest images that hit home. Now excuse me while I go carve that in stone...(I am SUCH A DITZ!!! )I DO love you all, yanno... Um, and Mike? BLESS YOU ME BOY!!!! [This message has been edited by serenity (04-26-2002 03:47 PM).] |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
I could see her sitting there...fretting over the ball of yarn....so many questions and so few answers... Don't we all have these feelings... YOU done good girl! |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Me, too my friend..what Magnus said....to kint or quilt our lives...to lay it out before us in so all of it could be seen at once...would we cry, go slight crazy, laugh, or just say "duh"....I wonder if any of us could stand such a vision and then quietly just walk away. Deep write dear friend! jwesley |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big huggssssssss) Oh Karen, I can feel such sadness but beauty too behind these words, sweet friend, I too wish we could watch over our hearts closely like a seamstress or weaver at work so we can be comfortable witrh what we can expect! (kiss on cheek) This is powerfully expressed, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Karen, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
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Silver Streak Member Elite
since 2002-01-02
Posts 3625FL, USA |
A wonderful write, serenity! ((serenity)) -newell Sharing God's Love through perfectlovepoetry.com |
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rwood Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793Tennessee |
This..is poetry. A wonderful weave of chainlink metaphors and truth. We wish but we don't..sometimes I want to come unravelled..maybe start over..maybe try a new groove..This is sooo cool.. You inspired me.. Sincerely, Reg |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
Dang girl, I just LOVE the way you write! You turn images into gold. And, you're one of the rare few at passions that I always relate to. Excellent writing... Take care, Melissa~ "Poetry is not an opinion expressed... |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
hands in twitch of twine of yarn-- I don't believe I'd seen that done-- the balling up of life undone... and like the literature in gaze just like the movies she portrayed she sat and rolled herself apart-- and licked the frays of fingered heart. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Karen! This is such a way cool write! AND very very unique! Enjoyed this keeper so much! ~Hugs~ |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
serenity, Wow...sweet lady I am so taken by this. It's a keeper. Wow. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
hand over heart thank yous to all. |
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paladin
since 2001-08-05
Posts 930Pensacola,Fl. |
I must admit I have dropped a few stiches in the fabric of my life.Too bade you can't just unravel it back to the mistake and make it right. paladin |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
serenity - many thoughts here. Great write, I like it very much... BC |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
"I couldn't let him down you know..." How many of us have become unraveled for just such reasons. *S* This is superb, serenity... one of those reads I didn't want to end. *S* |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
serenity, Maybe those two old ladies have some more pearls of wisdom. (no pressure...really...well a little!) It's never too late to have a good childhood! Woohoo! |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Serenity~ 'I worked the knots of yarn let go.' Tough to do ... but, thank god, it can be done~ Touching knit-of-knot my friend~ *HUGS* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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