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bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

0 posted 2002-04-24 01:30 PM

I hope that you will lay my bones in flowers when I die.
Lay my aging hands upon blue stones from the gray sky.
Lay my words in silver chains of verse around my neck.
Lay my dreams in the soily frost that winter sends.
Lay my wishes in the sea, a tumbled walling tide.
Lay my kisses in the ashes of the fireside.
Lay the imprints of our past in penscript lettered hearts.
Lay down then, beside my name, and watch the clear rain darts.

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

1 posted 2002-04-24 02:54 PM

I want this on a plaque on my wall!!!
I do love your poetry, and this is up there with the most favorites!! Excellent.

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

2 posted 2002-04-24 03:04 PM

BSquirrel~
Dynamic phrasing of thoughts here~

'Lay my words in silver chains of verse around my neck.'

You are so versatile in your writing talents~
*applause*
*Hugs*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
[email protected]

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

3 posted 2002-04-24 03:25 PM

Lay my aging hands upon blue stones from the gray sky.
====================================

*smiling at you clever poet*
and inhaling your words...they go down smooth and leave one content in the wanting of more. Does that make sense? (besides to me)

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

4 posted 2002-04-24 03:37 PM

Mike! I want this!
And, I'm keeping it!
Into the library it goes.
Excellent!
~Hugs~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain~

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

5 posted 2002-04-24 05:31 PM

Crystalline verse. Simply written, direct, and yet beautiful.

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

6 posted 2002-04-24 06:40 PM

Mike

Just beautiful! Concept, imagery and flow. Unique and you.

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

7 posted 2002-04-25 12:43 PM

I had fun with that one.

jwesley
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-04-30

Posts 7563
Spring, Texas

8 posted 2002-04-25 08:24 PM

Like this a bunch...would make a good (lots of things) but in particular I was thinking...
epitaph....

Very well done...jwesley.

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

9 posted 2002-04-25 08:34 PM

I agree with JW's comment about what could
be done with these words....Very well done.

Excellent write..

Nightshade

Member Patricius

since 2001-08-31

Posts 13962
just out of reach

10 posted 2002-04-25 09:11 PM

Lay the imprints of our past in penscript lettered hearts.

Oooh darn...I wish I had written this!! So good, so good!! Chris

Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away.

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

11 posted 2002-04-25 09:13 PM

I do like the last line, and the way the words play with each other...very good...

Duncan
Member Ascendant

since 2001-08-07

Posts 5455

12 posted 2002-04-25 09:58 PM

Love the image of the last line. Great write!

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

13 posted 2002-04-26 01:35 PM

Thanks.

Zinsser
Senior Member

since 2001-02-27

Posts 1641
Calif.

14 posted 2002-05-16 03:58 PM

This is very nice..... I like it

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

15 posted 2002-05-16 05:03 PM

Zinsser, who said you could dig up these old bones?! LOL Glad y' enjoyed.

She said burn ... together.
-TON

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