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Open Poetry #20
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Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
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In Your Poetic Mind

0 posted 2002-06-05 11:15 AM


A summer storm
lightening striking the
landscape-
reflections in the lake
mirrored by  rain

and so my lips
are not my own
when the symphony fades
and dawn softly places
unlit candles  in windows


The palm of my hands
appear faithful –with wisdom--
memories
     of mystical faces,
those,  with out names &
   unmistakable tilting of head or
movement of eyelids

Darkness of habit
impede the view-
of  autumns that pass
in afternoon curtains
and mornings new rise--

here

I stand unrecognizable to you
     ripples of   the water
extending far beyond
the images that  present
the surface
of fragile breaths
unraveling the chants
of life  

the ravens dance

wrapped in sapphire
remembrance


So I close my eyes--
    still waters-
standing in silence

holding red roses



I would rather have one breath of his hair,
one kiss of his mouth,
one touch of his hand
than an eternity without it.



[This message has been edited by Greeneyes (06-05-2002 09:12 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 Lauren~ - All Rights Reserved
Magnus
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since 2001-10-10
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South Carolina, USA
1 posted 2002-06-05 11:35 AM


simply divine...like the flowing of a fine
wine...

Mistletoe Angel
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since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
2 posted 2002-06-05 12:29 PM




(sigh) Wow, I just love the illusions and spells you cast in your poems, sweet friend, this is soooooo beautifully descriptive and filled with heart! (kiss on cheek) I just love reading your words, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Lauren, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Larry C
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Member Patricius
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
United States
3 posted 2002-06-05 12:32 PM


Storm on sweet friend.
Midnitesun
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since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
4 posted 2002-06-05 12:33 PM


Lauren, this is another fine, dreamy, magical piece. Into the library you go.
Sunshine
Administrator
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since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
5 posted 2002-06-05 12:36 PM



Magnus took my words....

ctowen
Member Elite
since 2001-10-18
Posts 2286
Green Mountains of VT
6 posted 2002-06-05 12:46 PM


Remember as kids when we use to make shadows upon the walls with our hands .... I use to call it "Shadow Dancing". This piece helps me remember such playful moments before dawn, trying to amuse my younger siblings, and myself, who were awaken by an early morning storm ....
Thank you for the fond memeories and reborn smiles.    Peace be with you.

Marge Tindal
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since 1999-11-06
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Florida's Foreverly Shores
7 posted 2002-06-05 12:50 PM


GreenEyes~

My gosh ... this is just so delicate and lovely~

'dawn softly places
unlit candles in windows'


What a gorgeous thought~
*Hugs*
~*Marge*~


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
         noles1@totcon.com                    

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
8 posted 2002-06-05 12:51 PM


Lauren,
Lovely write, enjoyed the read.

jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas
9 posted 2002-06-05 01:18 PM


..."the ravens dance"  boy, that just put all kinds of mystery in this, my friend...
enjoyed.

jwesley

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
10 posted 2002-06-05 02:27 PM


Lauren~Exquisite as always...beautiful!
~Hugs~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain~

Sven
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since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
11 posted 2002-06-05 04:25 PM


well. . . now I know what's in your eyes. . .

just. . . beautiful. . .

------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Charisma
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lost in blue pages
12 posted 2002-06-05 05:52 PM


Beautiful!!!

Charisma

vandana
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since 1999-10-22
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USA
13 posted 2002-06-05 06:27 PM


enjoy your read
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

14 posted 2002-06-05 08:19 PM


and so my lips
are not my own
when the symphony fades
and dawn softly places
unlit candles  in windows

==============================
of  autumns that pass
in afternoon curtains
and mornings new rise--


here

I stand unrecognizable to you
     ripples of   the water
extending far beyond
the images that  present
the surface
of fragile breaths
unraveling the chants
of life
  

the ravens dance

wrapped in sapphire
remembrance


So you close your eyes--
    still waters-
standing in silence

holding red roses

================================

this is hauntingly, mystically, stunning...
the imagery is superb...so very lovely ... the expressions are breathtaking.

You wrote this so that its like we are reading (witnessing) it thru lace curtains
and candle light.
mothyme

When man is lead to arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations
When mans concern narrows, poetry reminds him the diversity of existence

JFK

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

15 posted 2002-06-05 09:05 PM


Lauren, again.....there are no words that can do this piece justice.  wonderful hon...

Like a red brick,
in a white wall
somebodies brush
forgot to paint...
lonely....(as sung by Tracy Lawrence..)


ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
16 posted 2002-06-06 04:31 PM


Lauren
This is just gorgeous poetry....
               "I stand unrecognizable to you
                      ripples of   the water
                 extending far beyond
                 the images that  present
                 the surface
                 of fragile breaths
                 unraveling the chants
                 of life  

                 the ravens dance

                 wrapped in sapphire
                 remembrance


                 So I close my eyes--
                     still waters-
                 standing in silence

                 holding red roses"

You've got a powerful muse lady poet!

BloomingRose
Member Elite
since 2000-08-09
Posts 3092
Florida
17 posted 2002-06-07 03:54 PM


the ravens dance

wrapped in sapphire
remembrance


So I close my eyes--
    still waters-
standing in silence

holding red roses
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wonderful writing! You really did a nice job with this one.

Deb

bags123
Member
since 2002-06-06
Posts 128

18 posted 2002-06-07 03:58 PM


WOWIE, WOW! I'm fresh out of superlatives.
To bad this deserves all of them. Great work!

Auguste
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since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953
By the sea
19 posted 2002-06-07 04:22 PM


This is nice, Lauren.  Very pretty!
catalinamoon
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
20 posted 2002-06-07 10:06 PM


Your writing seems to get more intense and beautiful every time I read.
Sandra

Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
21 posted 2002-06-08 09:21 AM


Love to all.....I appreciate the warm comments and kind responses from all.....
I wanted to come in and thank you all one to one, but time has not been on my side, but I feel the hearts here....
Lauren~

I would rather have one breath of his hair,
one kiss of his mouth,
one touch of his hand
than an eternity without it.

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
22 posted 2002-06-08 06:18 PM


I feel the dreaminess here, Lauren...
Its like being part of a magical landscape...

~ mystical hugs

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

icequeen
Senior Member
since 2001-12-09
Posts 633
FL USA
23 posted 2002-06-08 06:27 PM


Oh so lovely, this is!

and so my lips
are not my own
when the symphony fades
and dawn softly places
unlit candles  in windows


That snippet alone is wonderful -- combined with the rest of the piece it ices a delicious poem!

...and her crown was formed by the ice in her eyes

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