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Open Poetry #20
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The Girl Next Door
| Open Poetry #20 |
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The Girl Next Door |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada 
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They wanted me to always look out for you Boys alone with their daughter bothered them But you grew older, now I simply adore you and they're afraid this loser just might win. I like the fact I live beside you baby at the gateway to love near discipline We're guided by the power of what's happenin the boiling spirit, underneath our skin I don't feel sorry that I dumped your sister she'd always tell them where you'd been and now you see her stayin at home waitin while we're drugged with love lip to chin. Now here we are in a long airport line up Oh how we prayed for this thrill to begin I don't like it by the window I'll take the isle but I don't want to be far from your grin Oh I thank you for the kindness of growing up and taking this advenbture on the wind We practised many nights and we're ready I'll play the french horn and you the violin They believe us when we say we live for music cause you're in grade six now and I'm in seven The school band won these tickets down to Boston I hope we do the same next year again. The role of poetry is to utter the un-utterable; to open up |
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| © Copyright 2002 Eric Lewis True - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Cute with a twist! |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
yesss... dug it huge ethome |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
They wanted me to always look out for you Boys alone with their daughter bothered them But you grew older, now I simply adore you and they're afraid this loser just might win. I like the fact I live beside you baby at the gateway to love near discipline We're guided by the power of what's happenin the boiling spirit, underneath our skin I don't feel sorry that I dumped your sister she'd always tell them where you'd been and now you see her stayin at home waitin while we're drugged with love lip to chin. ================================== "Lip to chin"? NOW thats a kiss! lol  Well ya had me going on this Eric...thought they were eloping  cute and clever write here ... at the gateway to love near discipline I love that original, unique line and thought. I hear this one with a jazzy twist...sorta like when Van adds in some horns waaay cool E-babes Cant stand up for fallin apart |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Ethome On the edge...so sweet. Really enjoyed the story in this, and the end got me smiling. Thanks! |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
grinning--living for the music? Indeed!!! this is delightful! |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (smiles) Awwwwww, this is soooooo cute, sweet friend, the end of this poem also made me smile so big, your words are always so beautifully heartfelt and reflect the loving and sensitive boy in your heart! (sigh) This is wonderful, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Eric, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Suetang Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187Melbourne, Australia |
Hello ethome Wow! This was brilliant and you captured my attention from start to finish with your worderful story. I adored the ending. Take care......Sue Suetang |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
This little twist is extremely cute...and I do love the ending.... Excellent!! |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Ah Eric, what a sweet story! Loved it! ~hugs~ ~Somewhere in my heart I'm always |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Thoroughly enjoyed... loved the ending! *S* |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
PT darling boy I suppose you think that I’m going to praise you to the skies? Hmmm? …….. Well, of course I am, this is utterly utterly wonderful as YOU very well know. The picture you painted with words is vibrant and so cuter I loved it, the tone of the poem as light as fairy dust and oh how you’ve sprinkled that joy around. This is really fabulous writing sometimes when you don’t expect it showers of moonbeams descend on you. They dropped like little twinkles of delight when I read this. Oh my eyes they are refreshed and my soul is washed in joy this is sooooooooo good, and just like you to twist the ending wittily. Absolutely first class writing you are an utterly wonderful writer.   Love and warm stuff As always Mushy  Breathe through the heat of our desire |
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Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
very loving and tender sir...most enjoyable..... Lauren~ I would rather have one breath of his hair, |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
There's a little twinkle in my eye How precious this is Liz |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
Too cute, too cute! A broken heart may hurt me, but a broken heart won't kill me. |
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azblond Senior Member
since 1999-07-01
Posts 637The Steamy Desert |
My favorite writers always throw a twist in the end...this one takes you to the top of the list! Let my words fall first upon deaf ears before a closed mind... |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
this is very cute...I played the clarinet...what memories! |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Thanks to all for the encouraging comments. I just haven't had the time today to reply individually however, I usually try to....Please forgive me on this one!....Thanks once again! |
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