The Small of HIs Desire - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

esclandre
Member

since 2001-06-11

Posts 62
Northern California

0 posted 2002-05-31 02:08 AM

The Small of His Desire
©Esclandre Allain

life hooked left,
the years of a lesser god
painting his back
-black-
as he bent it toward me,
naked again,
in the assonance of 'goodbye'

framed pastel,
freely commercializing
the colors of my hope
as I wilt, blemish-crowned
at the periphery of
a second-hand market…

his bed:
littered, crowded, haunted,
by all the weeds
he shares in my garden.

his clothes are stained,
and not by me.
so I crawl after the plume
of his dirty trail,
eager for another call.

Je le Rêve, je Pleure
I dream, I cry

[This message has been edited by esclandre (05-31-2002 02:08 AM).]

EagleScorpion
Senior Member

since 2000-03-08

Posts 1644
Here, Now, Forever

1 posted 2002-05-31 02:20 AM

this is a superb work or art. holds truth in a sense

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

2 posted 2002-05-31 02:33 AM

his bed:
littered, crowded, haunted,
by all the weeds
he shares in my garden.

--just the fact, that these lines are my chosen favorite, is naked enough for ME.

[This message has been edited by serenity (05-31-2002 02:36 AM).]

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

3 posted 2002-05-31 03:22 AM

Powerful words and a great poem!
I liked reading this a few times!!

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

4 posted 2002-05-31 06:43 AM

Esclandre, it's been a while since you've posted...a good comeback, this!

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

5 posted 2002-05-31 07:13 AM

Esclandre
This is such an open minded write.
A look into the thoughts of these lines spells forebearance of a special kind.
I found this to be a powerful verse...
               "framed pastel,
                freely commercializing
                the colors of my hope
                as I wilt, blemish-crowned
                at the periphery of
                a second-hand market…"

Bless you and yours.

esclandre
Member

since 2001-06-11

Posts 62
Northern California

6 posted 2002-05-31 08:44 PM

thank you everyone! it has been a while since i've posted *g* but you know how life goes.

esclandre

Je le Rêve, je Pleure
I dream, I cry

Severn
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-17

Posts 7704

7 posted 2002-06-01 09:39 AM

Crit you? Never. Can't do it. Honestly.

I just like this too much. So, I'll leave you in peace - oh, cool name btw.

K

rwood
Member Elite

since 2000-02-29

Posts 3793
Tennessee

8 posted 2002-06-01 09:49 AM

his clothes are stained,
and not by me.
so I crawl after the plume
of his dirty trail,
eager for another call.

why do we do this?...great write! Fresh and real..

Sincerely,
Reg

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius

since 2000-10-09

Posts 13989

9 posted 2002-06-01 10:32 AM

very deep write Esclandre. power packed and I just love the images and usage in this. *s*

Like a red brick,
in a white wall
somebodies brush
forgot to paint...
lonely....(as sung by Tracy Lawrence..)

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

10 posted 2002-06-01 12:16 PM

A most powerful and thought provoking write.
Enjoyed so much!
~Hugs~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain~

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

11 posted 2002-06-03 09:46 AM

life hooked left,
the years of a lesser god
painting his back
-black-
as he bent it toward me,
naked again,
in the assonance of 'goodbye'

framed pastel,
freely commercializing
the colors of my hope
as I wilt, blemish-crowned
at the periphery of
a second-hand market
===========================

impressive writing here...and unique while being hauntingly familar.
your employ of vocabulary and imagery create an intense piece of poetry with depth of expression.
I like your style of free verse ... fresh and innovative.

Cant stand up for fallin apart
Cant see through this veil across my heart, over you-
Youll always be the one.
You were the first, youll be the last

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

12 posted 2002-06-03 10:02 AM

esclandre

"life hooked left,
the years of a lesser god
painting his back
-black-
as he bent it toward me,
naked again,
in the assonance of 'goodbye'"

Your poem allows the reader to see much more than your words. Very well done!!

catalinamoon

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-03

Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone

13 posted 2002-06-03 11:20 AM

Very impressive verse. I felt a lot, while reading.
Sandra

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.