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MIdsummerRain
Member

since 2002-05-19

Posts 175
St. Louis, Missouri

0 posted 2002-05-30 04:32 AM

Uneasy moods of mine that
swing back and forth inside my
head, worry me with their
cripple silence and remind me
not to speak, too loud, least I
make myself aware of another
pain; and another reason to
introduce cause and effect
alliance . . .

Reaccuring dreams bring tears to
my pillow late in the night and
I lay awake and shiver,
watching the dark actively
being still and quiet frightens
me; yet I hear a thousand
voices whisper to me from the
heart . . . and as I turn my
eyes to search for a familiar
face, I drift off to sleep.

I wish you were here; for I could
lay awake for hours in the
blackness and not be alone in
your arms; but then, my partial
daydreams continue to
rehearse missing parts, and
they lead me in circles . . .
dizziness makes me bitter of
that past and I only want love
to leave me alone; for I would
rather be weak on my own,
then have the confession of
dependence, to have to call my
own . . .

These uneasy moods of mine are
consistant in their apperance
of a form that is assembled as
my shadow, following me as I
miss the sunshine and leading
me, as I blindly rush towards
the darkness; at least it is
always there . . . and I can
tolerate silence, for it is there
that I can hide myself, and
really see myself . . .

For in much wisdom is much grief
& he who increases knowledge
increases sorrow...
Eccl. 1:18

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

1 posted 2002-05-30 05:48 AM

Yes Midsummer I know what you mean....in the silence one can really look deeply into their own soul.  This is such an intense but sad write......I love these lines.....
"I only want love
                 to leave me alone; for I would
                 rather be weak on my own,
                 then have the confession of
                 dependence, to have to call my
                 own . . ."
I truly enjoyed all of this read!

[This message has been edited by ethome (05-30-2002 05:49 AM).]

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

2 posted 2002-05-30 08:24 AM

(BIG HUGGSSSSSSSSS) Oh Rayne, this is so very sad, sweet friend, sweet friend, my heart goes out to you for while I too agree we can only evaluate and look at ourselves when we're alone and no one else can do that, love is here to comfort us all and remind us that someone always does care! (kiss on cheek) My thoughts are with you, sweet friend, God Bless You, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Rayne, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

MIdsummerRain
Member

since 2002-05-19

Posts 175
St. Louis, Missouri

3 posted 2002-05-31 01:02 AM

You are right Ethome, silence can take on a life of its own...Thank you for your gentleness
Your kind heart touches me as always sweet Noah...
~Rayne

For in much wisdom is much grief
& he who increases knowledge
increases sorrow...
Eccl. 1:18

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