regarding separate travels...

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Elizabeth Cor
Senior Member

since 2000-10-13

Posts 879
Over the river and through the woods

0 posted 2002-04-12 06:36 AM

walls rubbed with the smoke
of your scent
once resonated home

when the names of your children
tapped out from my tongue
in the labor of love…

now forward
calls
and I follow

as I always have

abandoning you and my
ancient hopes
to the dust of this city

still

Pang
soft, like a hammer to flesh,
claw side striking:

how poetry will yield somatically
under your hands
exploding the
building climax of years,
breaking fresh love over skin, dazzling

and now, my eyes wet, lips raw
bodies pushed against a motion that once
was love...
it feels starved,
habit:
the way an eye
searches light,
my thumb presses your hip
and plunges down

hunger for it rises in my throat:
to seal you with possession,
rip time and wear
from the air
thick as thieves
between us:

a sorrow, or a tattered loss
grey and faded, almost comfortable;

you, formerly as essential as blood,
now a burnt taste on my mouth

and I swallow

I will love again

but my heart has closed its doors for mourning
there is the hush of death about, hanging

& i need a rest from all of this

it will be long

Nan

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-20

Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA

1 posted 2002-04-12 07:53 AM

The bittersweet cacophony of inharmony - and subsequent resolve flow as smoothly from your quill as did the melody...

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

2 posted 2002-04-12 08:45 AM

ditto what Nan said ( what were some of those words she used anyway?

)

a beautifully bittersweet write...
I envy your talent my friend.

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

3 posted 2002-04-12 12:13 PM

walls rubbed with the smoke
of your scent
once resonated home
============================
how poetry will yield somatically
under your hands
exploding the
building climax of years,
breaking fresh love over skin, dazzling

and now, my eyes wet, lips raw
bodies pushed against a motion that once
was love...
it feels starved,
habit:
the way an eye
searches light,
my thumb presses your hip
and plunges down

hunger for it rises in my throat:
to seal you with possession,
=======================

you, formerly as essential as blood,
now a burnt taste on my mouth

and I swallow

I will love again

but my heart has closed its doors for mourning
there is the hush of death about, hanging

& i need a rest from all of this

it will be long
==============================

this just aches and bleeds down the page and stirs emotions inside me that i need rest from still...
rest as long as your heart needs to...and write it out..your gifted pen knows the road that will bring you back to you.
heart-hugs poetess
jm

how about how good it feels to finally forgive you
~~~
the moment I jumped off of it ... was the moment I touched down.

~Alanis Morissette~

Christopher

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-02

Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration

4 posted 2002-04-12 03:44 PM

'it will be long'

sometimes... it lasts forever. i hope not this time though.

this is very different for you. while many of your 'standard' hidden metaphors are nestled inside, still, as a whole, it reads much calmer, and certainly more heart-aching than any of your others. it 'bleeds' slowly, a steady drizzle as opposed to your normal gushing.

soft, sad, silent.

hugs

C

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

5 posted 2002-04-12 05:07 PM

yes, soft sad and silent indeed and those are the ones I love.

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

6 posted 2002-04-12 06:04 PM

This is not something that I can critique..for you bring that mourning up in me again that has been gone for years, or has it? The strength and intelligent woman are also there in the words, with the ache.

Heart hugs!

[This message has been edited by Martie (04-12-2002 09:38 PM).]

Severn
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-17

Posts 7704

7 posted 2002-04-12 07:25 PM

...

Jamie
Member Elite

since 2000-06-26

Posts 3168
Blue Heaven

8 posted 2002-04-12 09:09 PM

see above

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

9 posted 2002-04-12 09:40 PM

A beautiful write, Elizabeth...to try to come up with how I feel about it would be borrowing upon the remarks of your fellow poets and peers...

so all I can say is, well done...

catalinamoon

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-03

Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone

10 posted 2002-04-12 09:41 PM

This is beautiful and so heart touching.
Sandra

Jamie
Member Elite

since 2000-06-26

Posts 3168
Blue Heaven

11 posted 2002-04-14 12:39 PM

circumstance
reluctance
acceptance

loving
leaving
living

best of all
still hopeful and trying

this poem says it all so well

J

There is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar.
byron

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

12 posted 2002-04-14 12:49 PM

PERFECTION.

Duncan
Member Ascendant

since 2001-08-07

Posts 5455

13 posted 2002-04-14 12:55 PM

Damn, I ditto Serenity!

Tracey
Member Elite

since 2001-08-29

Posts 2808
where insanity meets breeding

14 posted 2002-04-14 03:26 AM

Wow. Elizabeth, this is amazing. Been there, felt that. And yes, it lasted a long, long time.

If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please?

Elizabeth Cor
Senior Member

since 2000-10-13

Posts 879
Over the river and through the woods

15 posted 2002-06-22 04:00 AM

revisiting... and realized I never gave a word of appreciation... to all of those that read and to those that understood: thank you.

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