Open Poetry #20 |
regarding separate travels... |
Elizabeth Cor Senior Member
since 2000-10-13
Posts 879Over the river and through the woods |
walls rubbed with the smoke of your scent once resonated home when the names of your children tapped out from my tongue in the labor of loveā¦ now forward calls and I follow as I always have abandoning you and my ancient hopes to the dust of this city still Pang soft, like a hammer to flesh, claw side striking: how poetry will yield somatically under your hands exploding the building climax of years, breaking fresh love over skin, dazzling and now, my eyes wet, lips raw bodies pushed against a motion that once was love... it feels starved, habit: the way an eye searches light, my thumb presses your hip and plunges down hunger for it rises in my throat: to seal you with possession, rip time and wear from the air thick as thieves between us: a sorrow, or a tattered loss grey and faded, almost comfortable; you, formerly as essential as blood, now a burnt taste on my mouth and I swallow I will love again but my heart has closed its doors for mourning there is the hush of death about, hanging & i need a rest from all of this it will be long |
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© Copyright 2002 Megs - All Rights Reserved | |||
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
The bittersweet cacophony of inharmony - and subsequent resolve flow as smoothly from your quill as did the melody... |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
ditto what Nan said ( what were some of those words she used anyway? ) a beautifully bittersweet write... I envy your talent my friend. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
walls rubbed with the smoke of your scent once resonated home ============================ how poetry will yield somatically under your hands exploding the building climax of years, breaking fresh love over skin, dazzling and now, my eyes wet, lips raw bodies pushed against a motion that once was love... it feels starved, habit: the way an eye searches light, my thumb presses your hip and plunges down hunger for it rises in my throat: to seal you with possession, ======================= you, formerly as essential as blood, now a burnt taste on my mouth and I swallow I will love again but my heart has closed its doors for mourning there is the hush of death about, hanging & i need a rest from all of this it will be long ============================== this just aches and bleeds down the page and stirs emotions inside me that i need rest from still... rest as long as your heart needs to...and write it out..your gifted pen knows the road that will bring you back to you. heart-hugs poetess jm how about how good it feels to finally forgive you |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
'it will be long' sometimes... it lasts forever. i hope not this time though. this is very different for you. while many of your 'standard' hidden metaphors are nestled inside, still, as a whole, it reads much calmer, and certainly more heart-aching than any of your others. it 'bleeds' slowly, a steady drizzle as opposed to your normal gushing. soft, sad, silent. hugs C |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
yes, soft sad and silent indeed and those are the ones I love. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
This is not something that I can critique..for you bring that mourning up in me again that has been gone for years, or has it? The strength and intelligent woman are also there in the words, with the ache. Heart hugs! [This message has been edited by Martie (04-12-2002 09:38 PM).] |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
... |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
see above |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
A beautiful write, Elizabeth...to try to come up with how I feel about it would be borrowing upon the remarks of your fellow poets and peers... so all I can say is, well done... |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
This is beautiful and so heart touching. Sandra |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
circumstance reluctance acceptance loving leaving living best of all still hopeful and trying this poem says it all so well J There is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
PERFECTION. |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
Damn, I ditto Serenity! |
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Tracey Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808where insanity meets breeding |
Wow. Elizabeth, this is amazing. Been there, felt that. And yes, it lasted a long, long time. If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please? |
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Elizabeth Cor Senior Member
since 2000-10-13
Posts 879Over the river and through the woods |
revisiting... and realized I never gave a word of appreciation... to all of those that read and to those that understood: thank you. |
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