Open Poetry #20 |
X Rated |
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
X Rated Yes, I used to sing…before, I sang you my heart like a treasured red marble. I thought I pleased you with the rolling, but you didn’t see past your own chaos to the small slump of mine. That didn’t stop me though, for to grow, I thought the spring needed air, so I gave it voice, saw it take wing across the hills while the baby smiled and fell down in the tall grass and rolled around in the words of my love, but you gave me a look that said many things, one of them was not love, no, not. Once I thought that I could show you how I was in all the tiny intricate corners, and I thought compassion was part of something, something that I must have only imagined, or was it because the familiar grows distain like mildew? So somewhere in that so long ago I just gave up trying to rub out the stain from your eyes. I think it was on the day of loud crying you finally heard me, not shaded by some lovely story, but sentry of my heart’s course. You heard anger and the truth of all I spent on you. Yet even then, the sound only served to wake a sleeping child. Now, I have passed you and can only look back in wonder at the tricks that life plays to bring some understanding. Indeed, time is like that, a surface on which to spread out meaning, then a place to count the cost, and add up the reasoning and finally build a person set apart, almost whole. And so the story goes that because of you, I sing now with a voice that’s more controlled, by me. --------- Speaking here of my x husband...from many years past, and for some reason tonight...I needed to sing...thanks whoever might read and listen. |
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© Copyright 2002 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved | |||
rwood Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793Tennessee |
It's me..and probably a few others..who know.. Hug you here. Amazed and connected. Sincerely, Reg |
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Joyce Johnson
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912Washington State |
It takes a while sometimes to find ourselves and to know when enough is enough. I liked your poem. Joyce |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
martie....... as always.... wonderful writing!! .... i read you much more often than i reply, just to let you know.... in my opiinion, you are one of the finest most articulate poet voices on the net... ... but more importantly... watch out!! your title is quite suggestive!! they may relocate you to ADULT!! LOL!!!! *wink seriously... i love this...... it's a really fine piece of work...... as are you..... |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
It is a a pleasure to read and listen! I think it was on the day of loud crying you finally heard me, not shaded by some lovely story, but sentry of my heart’s course. You heard anger and the truth of all I spent on you. Yet even then, the sound only served to wake a sleeping child. Yet even then.....thank you Martie~ [This message has been edited by BluesSerenade (05-29-2002 01:25 AM).] |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
quote: Yes. A good reason to write. |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
I figured it was about an ex as I was reading but the context is marvelously worded. THen you cap it off with this beautiful reflecting poetic philosophy. "Now, I have passed you and can only look back in wonder at the tricks that life plays to bring some understanding. Indeed, time is like that, a surface on which to spread out meaning, then a place to count the cost, and add up the reasoning and finally build a person set apart, almost whole." Beautiful work Martie. I'm always amazed how the blues or a form of the blues inspires such beautiful writing!! It's really true! "Almost whole" and the beat of life goes on! |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
ms martie..you write with a heavy pen leave such deep grooves in your work.. |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
"Indeed, time is like that, a surface on which to spread out meaning, then a place to count the cost, and add up the reasoning and finally build a person set apart, almost whole. And so the story goes that because of you, I sing now with a voice that’s more controlled, by me. (sigh) Wow! This is wonderful, sweet friend, I think we can all feel more motivated by our relations with others and while we may miss someone, their inspiration is endless in our hearts! (kiss on cheek) This is a very touching poem, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Martie, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
And so the story goes that because of you, I sing now with a voice that’s more controlled, by me. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Martie, so much said here, and then the strong voice at the end... wonderful full voice you have! ~Hugs~ ~Somewhere in my heart I'm always |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
That didn't stop me though, for to grow, I thought the spring needed air, so I gave it voice, saw it take wing across the hills while the baby smiled and fell down in the tall grass and rolled around in the words of my love, but you gave me a look that said many things, one of them was not love, no, not. Once I thought that I could show you how I was in all the tiny intricate corners, and I thought compassion was part of something, something that I must have only imagined, or was it because the familiar grows distain like mildew? So somewhere in that so long ago I just gave up trying to rub out the stain from your eyes. I think it was on the day of loud crying you finally heard me, not shaded by some lovely story, but sentry of my heart's course. You heard anger and the truth of all I spent on you. Yet even then, the sound only served to wake a sleeping child. Now, I have passed you and can only look back in wonder at the tricks that life plays to bring some understanding. Indeed, time is like that, a surface on which to spread out meaning, then a place to count the cost, and add up the reasoning and finally build a person set apart, almost whole. ============================== You sing loud and clear with a pure voice in this POWERFUL purging write... So much to see here...so much to learn from... how sad when one grows up while the other grows away.... Even in the losses...we will grow if we learn from mistakes and misteps...but to grow one first has to learn to listen to the song heart-hugs Martie-girl I remembering being one and the same ... |
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Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
Martie~ sing away I will gladly listen, and maybe hum the tune.... hugsss Lauren~ I would rather have one breath of his hair, |
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RMW Senior Member
since 2001-03-21
Posts 1424 |
Martie .... "...a voice that's more controlled..." Well said. Of all the arts, poetry requires the most control. A wise decision. Bob |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Regina--hugs returned...and thank you for your understanding listen. Joyce--Yes, and so nice to look back and know it's over. Thank you for your reply. Doreen--Thrilled to have you reply...and to know you read. Thanks for such a high compliment! Blues--Thank you for your listening. Karilea--yes...for sure! Eric--So many ways to sing the blues...but I think you do it best! Dave--Yes, sometimes I do heavy. Just so I don't forget to appreciate. Noah--Thanks so much for your reply. Nancy--Strength from adversity...hugs! Janet Marie--You are one of the best listeners...heart hugs back to you, my friend! |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Lauren--I'm singing sweetly today..hugs back. Hi Bob--Thanks for reading and for your reply...always appreciate hearing from you! |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
aye, dear Marite, I've known your words all to well in times past...my shoulder is always there when you need a place to cry, and my heart will always listen when you need to clear the air. jwesley. |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
I'm a baritone. D'ya think we'd make a good duet? ==================== Once I thought that I could show you how I was in all the tiny intricate corners, and I thought compassion was part of something, something that I must have only imagined, or was it because the familiar grows distain like mildew? ==================== Kinda what my thoughts were for "ensnared." You just said it much better than I Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write. [This message has been edited by Interloper (05-29-2002 01:28 PM).] |
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ShadowRider Senior Member
since 2001-07-14
Posts 1038USA |
awww Martian....do you think love can EVER forget how to sing? or to wake with the youth of a child or to vanish the exuberance of a great memory? Our lifetimes are like a vast storybook, ready to be revealed again, but the ending.....sigh.... the endings are always the same. The pleasure is in the reading, getting there. Amazing writing, Martian! You are one WAAAAAY coool lady! jeff |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Mighty fine writing, Martie! Cor |
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icequeen Senior Member
since 2001-12-09
Posts 633FL USA |
That didn't stop me though, for to grow, I thought the spring needed air, so I gave it voice, saw it take wing across the hills while the baby smiled and fell down in the tall grass and rolled around in the words of my love, but you gave me a look that said many things, one of them was not love, no, not. This brought me to tears...all of this poem is a diamond that is you...delicately fashioned, incredibly strong. It doesn't get any better than this, Martie |
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Cirrus Member
since 2002-05-12
Posts 55 |
Incredible Martie! Have I told you lately; how much I love the way you write? All the way up to the moon and back again |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Jimmy--What a sweet and sincere friendship offer...thank you, and likewise. Interloper--Sometimes a baretone sounds good with a soprano...depends on if they can both carry a tune, or the same tune..and mine wasn't better, only different. Jeff--you always make me feel so special..you are the way cool one! Cor--Thanks for stopping and for the reply. Appreciate it! icequeen--What a wonderful reply...thank you! cirrus--To the moon is a long way...but should be fun on a cloud! Thanks, dear! |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
for to grow, I thought the spring needed air, so I gave it voice, saw it take wing across the hills while the baby smiled and fell down in the tall grass and rolled around in the words of my love, but you gave me a look that said many things, one of them was not love, no, not. So very sad, Martie....but you write sad so very well and you also write happy and beauty so well....you just write so well! ~sad hugs Lyra |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Yes, I understand You say it so well Love ya, girl Liz |
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