Open Poetry #20 |
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it cracks in peaceful places |
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Cloudishness Junior Member
since 2002-05-27
Posts 15 |
It cracks in peaceful places I feel a paleness in your voice, in fact it cracks, in peaceful places. I can't keep from wanting it to last. We taste, as tears connect our faces and laugh, to share the saltiest of pasts. [J Sullivan] |
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© Copyright 2002 Cloudishness - All Rights Reserved | |||
Joyce Johnson![]() ![]()
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912Washington State |
Very pretty. Sounds like a lovely relationship. Joyce |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
an unexpected rhyme here...loved the way it dripped down the page....lovely, I look forward to more! |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
in fact it cracks, in peaceful places. I can't keep from wanting it to last. This reminds me of loving to a fault! Wonderful movement in this! |
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MIdsummerRain Member
since 2002-05-19
Posts 175St. Louis, Missouri |
"...I can't keep from wanting it to last..." Its like Music my friend! ~Rayne For in much wisdom is much grief |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I have been reading this--ALOT...AND "cracks in peaceful places" reminds me so much of porcelain--Nice!!!! |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Hello! and Welcome to Passions! I enjoyed your first post, and am looking forward to more! Please, check your E-mail for a Special Greeting! Karilea |
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my3monkeytoes Member
since 2002-05-11
Posts 152In the Carolina Breeze |
I love the title to this piece...and love the last line..."saltiest of pasts". That's great. Welcome to Passions! ~Sydney McLean |
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Mistletoe Angel![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
![]() ![]() ![]() YAY!!! Oooohhhhhh...I LOVE IT, this is such a beautifully touching first post, sweet friend, may all your tears be kissed away in each others hearts and fill you both with a true happines sbound to last for eternity! I LOVE IT!!! Welcome to Passions, sweet friend, may you be inspired by all of us here as wer will all be inspired by your lovely words! (big hugggsssssss) I can't wait to read more of your lovely words, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, thank you for sharing! ![]() ![]() May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Cloudishness Welcome and well done. |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
![]() ![]() Very Pretty First Post! I shall enjoy reading more of your work! ~Hugs, Nancy~ ~Somewhere in my heart I'm always |
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Sven![]() ![]()
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
"it cracks, in peaceful places. . . " that comma makes all the difference. . . well done. . . and welcome!! please enjoy your time here. . . ![]() ----------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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Cloudishness Junior Member
since 2002-05-27
Posts 15 |
Wow! Not sure I was ready for such a sweet reception. (This was my first post here, so I didn't really know what to expect.) I apologize for not replying individually, but I will try to improve, as I learn the system here. Thanks for all the kindnesses. Jim Sullivan |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Hi Jim..I really enjoyed this first post! Welcome to Passions. |
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Midnitesun![]()
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Welcome, and thank you for sharing this lovely piece. I enjoyed the imagery. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Jim, if you have any questions, all you have to do is contact a moderator, and *poof* you'll have an answer soon... sit back, relax, enjoy, read on... |
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icequeen Senior Member
since 2001-12-09
Posts 633FL USA |
fantastic - you make quite an entrance! I'm awaiting more of your work. Welcome - you will love it here. ...and her crown was formed by the ice in her eyes |
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Cloudishness Junior Member
since 2002-05-27
Posts 15 |
Joyce- {Very pretty. Sounds like a lovely relationship. Joyce} Yes it does. Though this one isn't first person. Mostly fantasizing. Serenity- Glad you liked it, I like to play with different meter and rhyming styles. I hadn't thought of porcelain, but I can see it, since I was shooting for 'fragile' here. Sunshine- Thanks so much for the great email card. You sure can make a person feel welcome! My3MonkeyToes (love your name!) Thanks!, 'saltiest of pasts' was originally going to be the title. I was trying to describe a scene between two who were patching things up after having broken up and gotten back together, and had been crying, laughing and nuzzling... MistleToe Angel- Noah, Wow! I certainly don't feel deserving of such wonderful praise This one wasn't biographical, but was really more of a dream or fantasy. Most of my writing is third-person, but that doesn't mean I'm not one of those I write about. Thanks for the nice words, Noah! MidSummerRain,Blues Serenade, Seymour,Enchantress, - Thanks! Jim Sullivan |
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