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Open Poetry #20
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Tuscany
| Open Poetry #20 |
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Tuscany |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704
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She opens herself to this -this the wind hushing in the scent of grape and greened earth, a silhouetted dreamer against the twilit crest Past yellow-corn fields and mired rivers, blue hills rise and out there, over distance, she looks beyond, recollecting Florence in the rain - the fine mist above the domes - and the startling call of childhood mustering in the streets Her own farmhouse shelters generations against the myths of living and feet bare, they feel the pulse of wine-rhythms. But inside her the battlements of Massa Marritima climb – so long ago she leaned her bicycle against the gates and etched its mystery into unlined palms She travels on, that girl of the long hair and wild eyes. She recalls Volterra, her Etruscan town of passion. Oh, but it was not love she found now lost to time. This is her conviction, enclosed in measured domesticity. She only doubts on nights like these, when the bird-song’s evoke her memory, and the lights are quieter than her eyes. She thinks - this is the price of journey: this is the call of the restless and untamed. [This message has been edited by Severn (05-26-2002 01:14 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2002 Kamla Mahony - All Rights Reserved | |||
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
i dont know these places except i think i have indeed drunk some of their wine (if they grow grapes i will drink it) you got an awesom imagidescriptionation |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
yanno? you give voice to yearning...and now? I think I want to write a poem for you..SEE WHAT YOU'VE DONE? grin... |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
She only doubts on nights like these, when the bird-song’s evoke her memory, and the lights are quieter than her eyes. She thinks - this is the price of journey: this is the call of the restless and untamed. Forgive the brevity...but damn. but I'm lonely now, and I don't know how |
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Tracey Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808where insanity meets breeding |
This is gorgeous Kamla. The title caught my eye because Tuscany is on my list of places to visit…the inspiration of the poem makes me want to go there even more. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
This is full of so much....images and feeling...well done missy!  |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
quote: I've read this three times already. As always, i like the way you put things together. Will likely revisit and dig a bit deeper another night (I expect I'll be surprised) but for the moment, this line keeps playing over and over in my mind. Hugs L'il K.  |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
quote: It is the simple words placed just so that bring this marvelously to life... Well done, Little K... [This message has been edited by Sunshine (05-26-2002 08:23 AM).] |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Severn, Ya know I think your right. Enjoyed |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Kamla You catch a flavor with words that is haunting, and touches a place of ancient rhythm, rich. Loved it! |
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Greeneyes  
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
a silhouetted dreamer against the twilit crest'' this is ever amazing.....with much beauty....you have painted a picture most lovely to the eyes.....  hugssss Lauren~ I would rather have one breath of his hair, |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
(big hugggsssssss) Oh Kamla, I too have never been there but I dream ever so much of going there for I have learned and studied this culture very much and I am fascinated by their Renaissance and romantic history! (kiss on cheek) This is wonderful, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Kamla, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Cirrus Member
since 2002-05-12
Posts 55 |
Ahhhh Florence, so beautiful so many memories, if ever I had a daughter, her name would probably have been Florence, I loved it that much. Past yellow-corn fields and mired rivers, blue hills rise and out there, over distance, she looks beyond, recollecting Florence in the rain - the fine mist above the domes - and the startling call of childhood mustering in the streets Beautiful Kamla as always |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
will look at this tomorrow keemlah, promise. |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Oh you did her proud, a beautiful city, and this was truly a beautiful poem. I kept this one Kamla, it is beautiful the way you take a simple word and make it sing. There is nothing means more to me than |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
Kamla, the lights are quieter than her eyes. my favourite line...will like to see such eyes of vitality.. |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Wonderful- and you already know what my favourite line is. JThere is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar. |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
This is amazingly descriptive and well done. Sandra |
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icequeen Senior Member
since 2001-12-09
Posts 633FL USA |
I should like to catch a quote out of this poem, but I couldn't decide which I liked the best, for I like them all so much. This is so wonderful, and I could almost smell the grapes and feel the ground under my bare feet... and Kam... never say you aren't any good at free verse, dear. It can instantly be disproved with this work. And I still say you are the Queen of Free Verse. (do you remember?) ...and her crown was formed by the ice in her eyes |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
I still get the feeling that i haven't targeted exactly what you were going for here, but what i am getting out of it is well worth the effort of looking for something all but invisible in the nether portions of my brain. What i DO see, is an excellent extended metaphor (analogy?) of emotional/physical travels. sharing the imagery with these physical places (all places of extreme note to the author) with portions of a journey in their emotional life, also "places" of note. I love "yellow-corn." it could easily have been yellow corn fields, but using the corn as descriptive of the color vs. the field is inspired and really caught me with the language. and still, "measured domesticity" - ROCKS! incredible line, incredible. hugs you poet, hugs. would you think I were weak if I just break down oh and now it's coming on again hold on, it won't take long -Tabitha's Secret (gotta love Rob) [This message has been edited by Christopher (05-28-2002 05:30 AM).] |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
quote: this is the exact center of the poem. . . it reminds me of Dickinson (yes, I know, only I would think of this being like Dickinson) but. . . just the quality of it. . . the memory-laden, spirit-searching, soul-seeking quality of it, just leaps out at you. . . takes you into the mind, the life, the soul of who is here. . . of a life ever lived, and of a mind that's been there before. . . thank you. . . --------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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RMW Senior Member
since 2001-03-21
Posts 1424 |
Severn ... "...this is the price of journey...." Very well said. This is a fine poem. Thank you for sharing. Bob |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Walty: Smile..I don't know them either - though I will one day..it's a promise to myself..thank you ... Karen luv - what can I say? You did, and I'm still all thrilled and embarrassed. Hugs my dear...thank you.Duncan - being a girl of brevity myself..I completely understand - and appreciate..lol..thank ye Tracey - that's cool! I know...I just love it...even the name...Tuscany - makes me think of honeyed nectar - the drink of the gods...thank you Sharon - hey you..thank you! Glad you stopped in matey.. C - see below lol Mama K - thank you. I do believe in the simple in my writing, that is true...glad it works for you..hugs Sy - why thank you Sir...nice to see you stopping in.. Martie - not much to say to you, cause I'm talking to you now heh..I'll just tell you now eh? lol...love ya... Lauren - thank you...that was the intent, that it worked is all I could want...hugs back.. Noah - thanks... Yes - it is fascinating..history and current times.. Cirrus - yup, actually I thought - Cirrus is the testing point..maybe I've got it all wrong? Glad to see I haven't! Actually..I want to make this one a bit longer...it feels vaguely incomplete. Hugs dear. C again - yes dear...lol Myst - thanks hon..huggles...glad you could hear the music... fr - I'm sure those kinds of eyes are all around. We just have to search carefully...thanks my friend. J - that girl of the long hair and wild eyes. Yup..and I know why, and that's still cool...huggles dear one. Sandra - hey you...thanks for coming in...nice to see you girl.. Icequeen...am I smiling! Of course I remember, and do you remember what I always said back?..it's been a long time and like I said on portrait - my heart is glad..huggles dear.. C - 'What i DO see, is an excellent extended metaphor (analogy?) of emotional/physical travels. sharing the imagery with these physical places (all places of extreme note to the author) with portions of a journey in their emotional life, also "places" of note.' Hmm...close, close. Kind of...how about rounding it off, if it was brought close to myself, as a lifelong process of feeling. More later. As to the domestic line...again - if we remove that from the subject of the poem, and put it close to myself..think: gray. The equivalent to gray. Thank you Sven - not the first time I've been compared to her actually. And I do take it as an enormous compliment. Thanks you.. RMW - well, thank you...I think that that line is the sum of the poem...glad you picked up on it...  K |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
quote:which was the reson and the first thing i thought of when reading it (aside from the fact that's it's just plain out and out a cool line). Sometimes, i know. |
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