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Desidero
| Open Poetry #20 |
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Desidero |
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Cirrus Member
since 2002-05-12
Posts 55 |
Beside myself I snub away my wanting it pleads yes then no then yes again like a plundering wave palindromos only the mirror-glass has meaning here and I wait for silvered answers off reflected sea but the sea the sea is turbulant it unfolds and releases yes then no then yes again I’m unable to grasp its inattentive pull its sandy institution that one infinitesimal existence which lies loose eastward crying yes then no then yes again and at the end of this land in the wailing of gulls in the fresh-smell of pacific I swallow the sky again |
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| © Copyright 2002 Cirrus - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Cirrus There is much emotion and longing in this...I could feel it while reading...painting a picture of the currents inside with a great metaphor of the ocean. Well done! Welcome to Passions!!!! |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
 CIRRUS, WELCOME TO PASSIONS!! I must say your opening post, took my breath away! I certainly look forward to more of your outstanding work. ~Hugs and a big welcome, Nancy~ |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (smiles) Oh my gosh, this is such a wonderful debut, sweet friend, your words shine as bright as the summer skies, I LOVE IT!!! Welcome to Passions, sweet Cirrus, may you be inspired by all of us here as we will all be inspired by your lovely words! (big hugggssssss) I can't wait to read more of your lovely words, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Cirrus, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon yu! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Great reference to the motion of the sea in this. Wonderful thought provoking write! |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
I love the way the waves pulled your thoughts in this. Welcome! |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
wonderful metaphor! i liked the allusion without concrete absolution. i can associate... sometimes you just have to try again and again and again. very well done and welcome to passions - will be looking for more. Chris |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Like this...James |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
yes then no then yes again... this was like one of those deceptively simple rides, that swing you back and forth and back again...please take this as compliment--it almost gave me "gas"-- this is one of those poems that hits like music...affected me on a different level.. it made me feel PHYSICALLY--SEA-SICK AWESOME. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Welcome to Passions! From the looks of this piece, as well as the comments it rendered, I think not only are YOU going to like it here, but we are going to enjoy your company! Please, check your E-mail for a Special Greeting! Karilea |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Well. I know you know. The writing, the pacific reference..yup I know  AOL - good company no?I have the hopes of crossing the pacific with words still. The pacific is very wide however isn't it. Do you know that certain parts of it..have orange sand? A fine piece of writing cirrus- and you must explain the meaning of that name to me... will look for more indeed.  K[This message has been edited by Severn (05-26-2002 08:41 AM).] |
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Cirrus Member
since 2002-05-12
Posts 55 |
Martie, thank you for your wonderful reply and your warm welcome, it's great to be back and thank you for your help with this.Hi Nancy, thank you so much for your lovely reply and warm welcome. Noah, thank you, may love and light shine upon you too ethome, I thank you very much Midnitesun, I thank you so much for your lovely reply Hi Christopher, thanks for the warm welcome  Thank you for stopping by and reading and for your lovely reply. Much appreciated. James, glad you like... thank you. Serenity, glad you thought it was awesome, after feeling sick too LOL... thank you Luscious. Hi Sunshine, thanks for your lovely welcome and the greeting card. Maree. Kamla, do you ever don't know? You think, you know you know LOL. Which parts of the Pacific have Orange sand btw? curious Thanks for reading and your lovely reply SB. |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
quote: well-- you KNOW i love this xo JThere is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar. |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Cirrus A good piece of introspective writing. Enjoyed |
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Cirrus Member
since 2002-05-12
Posts 55 |
Jamie and Seymour thanks for popping in and I'm so glad you enjoyed. Thank you for your lovely replies.  |
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furlong Member
since 2001-04-08
Posts 129 |
M much better 6th draft, onto the 7th .....lol - nope seriously, glad you chucked the "gills". "palindromos" was inspired! lose the "again", and i still think the definite article before "sky" is unecessary. otherwise much improved.....much impressed! F PS i meant the final "again" of course PPS you have a bootiful heart btw F, aka cardiac consultant extra ordinaire [This message has been edited by furlong (06-04-2002 05:47 AM).] |
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Cirrus Member
since 2002-05-12
Posts 55 |
Hello Cardiac Consultant finished with your patients are you? Good! heheh yes finally after 6th and 7th draft I was happy with it. And thanks for all your input m'dear. and I totally agree with your suggestions Thanks hon.hugs. |
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