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Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455


0 posted 2002-05-24 07:02 PM



Self imposed deadlines
rent a day now from lifetimes
recite every volume I’d ever write
memorize each emotion I’d ever feel
hear all the words not yet spoken
touch the part of you that only I touch
ask every question ever pondered
say I love you as many times as I can

nothing will focus
who’s spinning
me or the room

Seems the gods were just taunting
bells in a pinball machine that only tilts
pleasant noise, no points
no token return, no going back
no pretending I wasn’t warned
no
you never made any promises
but I heard them, anyway

nothing will focus
who’s spinning
me or the room

Back against the passenger side door
impersonating sleep
the road passes in simple black and light
even looking back it’s still not easy to believe
where we’ve been
though clear now that we’re leaving
and I’m not sure who’s driving
but it’s not me

nothing will focus
who’s spinning
me or the room

Knowing the end will not be changed
just a rambling stall for time
search for words I don’t want to say
to take me away from a world I don’t want to leave
into a vacancy no one wants
try to make sense of one moment of us
try to make sense of love

nothing will focus
who’s spinning
me or the room



but I'm lonely now, and I don't know how
to get it back to good

MB20

© Copyright 2002 Duncan - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2002-05-24 07:16 PM



...you never made any promises
but I heard them, anyway...

Funny, isn't it, how we read so much into someone else's actions, inactions, reactions...

No Memorex moment, this...

Good writing, Duncan...really, really good...

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
2 posted 2002-05-24 07:34 PM


no pretending I wasn’t warned
no
you never made any promises
but I heard them, anyway
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gosh Duncan, I feel so bad for you.
Sometimes even when we are told early on in a situation...that what we want so bad may never happen....we don't hear because we want to believe that we can work it out.  That by some miracle, or magic, our love will be strong enough to see us through anything. Gee, I wish you were closer and we could sit and talk, your porch or mine,...I can tell you are hurting, which of course is the sign of a very good writer as well.
This is one very powerful write.
Extremely well done!
~Here's a (((Hug)))~

*If you ever want to talk, just email me.*

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain~

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

3 posted 2002-05-24 08:12 PM


Self imposed deadlines
rent a day now from lifetimes
recite every volume I'd ever write
memorize each emotion I'd ever feel
hear all the words not yet spoken
touch the part of you that only I touch
ask every question ever pondered
say I love you as many times as I can

====================================

Back against the passenger side door
impersonating sleep
the road passes in simple black and light
even looking back it's still not easy to believe
where we've been
though clear now that we're leaving
and I'm not sure who's driving
but it's not me

================================
Knowing the end will not be changed
just a rambling stall for time
search for words I don't want to say
to take me away from a world I don't want to leave

into a vacancy no one wants
try to make sense of one moment of us
try to make sense of love
==================================

there are so many lines here that I have said to myself before...
you dont often show us this much of your muse, and this is much more than a ramble, sometimes there wont be enough words to purge the pain or to help us understand the whys...and sometimes we must say all that needs to be said to begin the healing process. Some things shouldnt be distilled...
and now the moth is rambling cuz she wishes she had some magic words so that you didnt have to learn this lesson.
hugs D
mothyme


(saw the sig, cant go wrong with Rob along on the ride)


I remembering being one and the same ...
closer even than the heat and the flame.

Tom Kimmel

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
4 posted 2002-05-24 08:28 PM


Every line is a gem....I enjoyed this Duncan.
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
5 posted 2002-05-24 08:58 PM


search for words I don’t want to say
to take me away from a world I don’t want to leave
into a vacancy no one wants


I DEFINITELY want to write like you when I grow uP!!!

Tracey
Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808
where insanity meets breeding
6 posted 2002-05-24 09:52 PM


geez…the things you get up to when I’m at the pub!!…to much THINKING darlin!!! (hey, isn’t that my trick????)

nothing will focus
who’s spinning
me or the room

I don't know...how many rum and cokes have ya had????

If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please?

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

7 posted 2002-05-24 10:03 PM


Heart felt Duncan...muchly enjoyed.

K

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
8 posted 2002-05-24 10:59 PM


I guess the room is always spinning, Duncan. You just gotta know when to jump on and off. Or maybe sometimes, not to jump on, but simply dream about the ride.
Is that poetic injustice???? Hugs, and if Tracey is right, just put down that R&C!

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
9 posted 2002-05-24 11:01 PM




(big hugggsssssss) Oh Duncan, I can feel such sadness in your words, sweet friend, my heart goes out to you so much and your words are so powerful and honest and we are always here for you if you ever need someone to talk to and relate your feelings too! (sad sigh) I hope that very soon your vacant heart will be filled with all the joy you deserve so much, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Duncan, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
10 posted 2002-05-24 11:40 PM


s'what i'm talking 'bout!

a great start here duncan... let it pour, let it roll, let it ramble-stall as you beat your way to the door of new beginnings. i like the direction, i like the repetition, i like the possiblities folded in the corners of this. let it go, let it go - i see amazing things in your future - you will be a great jedi!

Peace,

Chris

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
11 posted 2002-05-25 12:28 PM


Duncan...sometimes I think that we only hear what we want to hear, and even that can be open to misinterpretation....

you never made any promises
but I heard them, anyway

nothing will focus
who’s spinning
me or the room

I think that both you and the room are spinning in different directions...

~ sympathy hugs

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

Tracey
Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808
where insanity meets breeding
12 posted 2002-05-25 12:28 PM


Ramble please some more my dear
For I don’t want the time to pass
Let me stay here just a while
Not lost in emptiness
And as you ramble, hold my hand
Hold me next to you
Never let the ramble end
Then maybe we won’t too

I know it’s after midnight…but, just one more

Zinsser
Senior Member
since 2001-02-27
Posts 1641
Calif.
13 posted 2002-05-25 09:24 AM


Knowing the end will not be changed
just a rambling stall for time
search for words I don’t want to say
to take me away from a world I don’t want to leave
into a vacancy no one wants
try to make sense of one moment of us
try to make sense of love
`~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
wonderfull ramble
~~ Connie ~~

catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
14 posted 2002-05-25 09:31 AM


Geez, Duncan, another one that speaks of where I've been. You have an excellent style of sadness. Especially the line aout hearing promises not made. Wow, can I ever do that. I hear a whole happy future in one or two words sometimes.
Take care, you.
Sandra

[This message has been edited by catalinamoon (05-25-2002 09:31 AM).]

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