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Kethry
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-29

Posts 9082
Victoria Australia

0 posted 2002-05-19 07:56 AM

This words are from two phrases Marsha gave to Kari and then to me. I have taken poetic liberty with them.

drifting in the place of tomorrow's dreams she found a golden promise.

draping over her soul was a veil of aching loneliness, beggared by the lost chance of fate she waits for something, knowing not what.

In dreamtime days of long ago
There dwelt a talented miss
Who drifted through tomorrow's dreams
Where she found a golden promise
A promise made and a promise kept
That she gave with every kiss

But draped o'er her soul was a veil
Of aching loneliness,
What had happened that the kiss
Became a lover's mess
She did not know, she could not say
But failed in her own test

Beggared by lost chance of fate
She waits for something new
Not knowing what but waiting still
It's all that she can do
Captured by the hand of fate
With each kiss that's given anew

Her yearning soul tears the veils
A promise made and kept
Constituting future dreams
In silence she has wept
The drifting of the golden hue
Has closed her mind and slept

In promise made and promise kept
Lost chance has called its due
From dreamtime days of long ago
Her future rides on through
Her promise made and promise kept
Will colour her soul blue

Until the day the circle breaks
And she, herself new meaning makes.

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

1 posted 2002-05-19 07:59 AM

I do believe that what Marsha was looking for was found here in your poem, as well as in Krissy's....you have taken the lines and have made them your own...

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

2 posted 2002-05-19 08:01 AM

Keth,
Like soft echos in the night. Good write enjoyed.

Marsha

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-10

Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England

3 posted 2002-05-19 08:37 AM

Keth darling soul sister and rider of the nights light you write with such skill and this is excellent writing from you it always is. Exquisite flow and the rhyme are utterly utterly spectacular. No one manages to write like this except you, and this darling heart is utterly utterly superb truly one of your best and yes you’ve taken the challenge and surpassed it Utterly utterly perfect.

But then darling heart you always manage to twine the mere phrase of mine into something that glitters and shines as a star, you bejewel the page with light. And you know I absolutely love it to pieces.

I haven’t managed to come up with anything, and seeing these I don’t think I’ll even try. This is the ultimate piece of wondrous poetry for me

Love and warm stuff
As always
Mushy

To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace Luke 2:79

Aimster
Member Elite

since 2000-02-19

Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC

4 posted 2002-05-19 11:06 AM

keth,

this is beautiful!! i am all smiles
after reading this, because the beauty
in it amazes me...you took a few phrases
that yes were already very beautiful, and
created a masterpiece. you should be proud
of THIS...excellent!
take care.
amy

"you can't stop
the rain
from pouring down
can't stop the
world from turning 'round
can't stop me from
loving you
no matter
what you do"

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

5 posted 2002-05-19 11:09 AM

Keth, you are getting really really good
at this poetry stuff...

and BTW....I do forgive you for your little
addition to my Bird poetry......enjoyed it..

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

6 posted 2002-05-19 11:30 AM

Beatuifully done, and I loved how you executed the use of the lines.

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

7 posted 2002-05-19 11:49 AM

Perfectly beautiful!!
~Hugs~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain~

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

8 posted 2002-05-19 12:01 PM

loved it..fit perfectly with the rest of your words..

M

ecrivan
Member Elite

since 2001-12-10

Posts 3923
my own state

9 posted 2002-05-19 12:44 PM

beautiful choice of words, a big touch of teh fairytale here

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

10 posted 2002-05-19 07:36 PM

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

11 posted 2002-05-20 10:01 AM

I like this very much, Kethry. *S* What a beautiful whole you've woven from borrowed words... Keep writing! *S*

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