Open Poetry #20 |
Neap Tide |
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
his voice grew fingers through the phone and stroked me in my satin his voice left lingers of alone... remembering "forgotten" a gentle wash of wave on sand smoothing my rough pattern waves of future circumstance erasing rings of Saturn. Hills were built by buckets filled-- he washed them all away... Spills of silt by buckets filled-- he dragged my memories to grave. Bits of me grain to the sea smoothing settling my sand-- epiphany of "used to be" by simple wave of "understand..." by crash of wave upon my shore-- I understood the need of "more..." [This message has been edited by serenity (05-18-2002 03:21 PM).] |
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© Copyright 2002 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
skyshine
since 2002-02-07
Posts 3058Beneath the northern stars |
A thought provoking read, Karen. Much enjoyed. ~sky |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
his voice grew fingers through the phone and stroked me in my satin his voice left lingers of alone... remembering "forgotten" a gentle wash of wave on sand smoothing my rough pattern waves of future circumstance erasing rings of Saturn ============================ Spills of silt by buckets filled-- he dragged my memories to grave. Bits of me grain to the sea smoothing settling my sand-- epiphany of "used to be" by simple wave of "understand..." by crash of wave upon my shore-- I understood the need of "more..." ================================== GAWD I LOVE THE WAY YOU RHYME... and you already know what I want to say to this.... YOU ROCK BABY!!!! How long can a girl be haunted by you ... |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Wow..... Uh........... Hmmm... Well ... ah'm honored, and blown away -- as always when ah read you. Much love to you. Mike She said burn ... together. -TON [This message has been edited by bsquirrel (05-18-2002 05:49 PM).] |
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Krissy Senior Member
since 2002-02-22
Posts 556kent England |
Serenity hi there this is what I call writing, the rhythm the rhyme the internal flow are as smooth as water over glass. Absolutely exquisite writing, I wish I could write like this Very well done, I really do love your work, you are a writer of extraordinary skill Love and warm stuff As always Krissy And while thy willing soul transpiers |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
This is you at your best...ad your best is awesome. Beautiful construction...and the same for the poem. Beware of phony fingers |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
YAY!!! Oh my gosh, I just love the way you rhyme, sweet friend, it seems so easy the way you always do it and it flows so smoothly as if it just came out all at once rather than being forced! (kiss on cheek) This is fantastic, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Karen, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
now, this is getting it. you're putting it out, can you keep it up? |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
C...WICKED ME..HADTA ASK? can you? SMOOCHIES BABY |
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