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navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #20 » Another Surrender
Open Poetry #20
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1slick_lady
Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace
0 posted 2002-05-18 07:36 AM


Another Surrender

early morning
gushing dawn
night retreating
dark withdrawn
pouring light
endless flow
another surrender
letting go
melting yellow
canvas blue
fantasy’s reality
reached into
unlimited beauty
wonder discovered
looking at
vaulted cover
© Copyright 2002 Helen Chambers - All Rights Reserved
elfin_tigress
Member
since 2002-05-15
Posts 101
Someplace
1 posted 2002-05-18 09:08 AM

That was very pretty, Lady.  I like how it flowed, and I liked the gentle, free rhyme scheme.  I also like how the rhyme would be in different thoughts.  It made all the thoughts connect more, with a stronger bond, I guess you could say.  I really like your imagery: "gushing dawn," "melting yellow."  This is a very nice poem, and the title makes it especially nice.  
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
2 posted 2002-05-18 09:24 AM

1slick_lady
Love the way you write, excellent, enjoyed.
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navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #20 » Another Surrender

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