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Open Poetry #20
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BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside

0 posted 2002-05-18 03:06 AM


love in my letter's

strewn across the page
haphazardly
cursive swirls at the end
connecting the dots........
sealed in an envelope
airborne
overnight
underlyng
in the past
and present
tense
chronologically
in order
randomly alphabetized
a footnote
at the bottom of the page
so that I'll never forget
there's no place in my words
or a verse that defines you
no hidden messages
or a title of my own
there are no capitals or periods
ending my sentences
no breaks between lines
or personalized stationary
slanted in gold.....



[This message has been edited by BluesSerenade (05-18-2002 03:21 AM).]

© Copyright 2002 BluesSerenade - All Rights Reserved
ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
1 posted 2002-05-18 09:14 AM


A different sort of tone for you. Messaged out in a classy anger...written well.
Peaceful wishes. ThisDiamond

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
2 posted 2002-05-18 09:19 AM


BluesSerenade
Your writing style just grabs me, enjoyed.

elfin_tigress
Member
since 2002-05-15
Posts 101
Someplace
3 posted 2002-05-18 10:02 AM


This flows in an interesting way...
I like it!

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

4 posted 2002-05-18 10:51 AM


this is such wonderful free verse!  I like your style lady.  Well done.  

Like a red brick,
in a white wall
somebodies brush
forgot to paint...
lonely....(as sung by Tracy Lawrence..)


Greeneyes
Deputy Moderator 50 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
5 posted 2002-05-18 11:44 AM


these words Lori~
are slanted in gold....lovely...always from you...hugsss


Lauren~

I would rather have one breath of his hair,
one kiss of his mouth,
one touch of his hand
than an eternity without it.

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
6 posted 2002-05-18 10:40 PM




(big huggssssssss) Yes, yes, I too love this, sweet friend, I too could feel frustration in these words but also a strong willful heart speaking out justice! (kiss on cheek) This is lovely, sweet friend, your words are always pure gold to us all, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Lori, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
7 posted 2002-05-19 12:41 PM


a footnote
at the bottom of the page
so that I'll never forget
there's no place in my words
or a verse that defines you

Wow, Lori...this is excellence slanted in gold.

~gold hugs

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

Aimster
Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC
8 posted 2002-05-19 11:42 AM


lori,

splendid writing from your pen
my friend...your words are amazing
and you never cease to amaze me with
your endless talent...beautiful write!
amy

"you can't stop
the rain
from pouring down
can't stop the
world from turning 'round
can't stop me from
loving you
no matter
what you do"

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
9 posted 2002-05-24 01:27 PM


BluesSerenade~

'a footnote
at the bottom of the page
so that I'll never forget'


Lovely thoughts ... just lovely~
*Hugs*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
         noles1@totcon.com                    

Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
10 posted 2002-05-24 03:58 PM


like that line - slanted in gold. catchy!


Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

11 posted 2002-05-24 04:47 PM


there are no capitals or periods
ending my sentences
no breaks between lines
or personalized stationary
slanted in gold.....

Loved this, Blues.  It can be understood in  so many ways.  Very cool.

but I'm lonely now, and I don't know how
to get it back to good

MB20

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
12 posted 2002-05-24 05:43 PM


Lori, what a wonderful write this is!
Very nice read aloud as well,
which is something I really like in a poem.
Enjoyed so much!
~hugs~

*Love the new pic as well!*

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain~

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