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Open Poetry #20
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elfin_tigress
Member
since 2002-05-15
Posts 101
Someplace

0 posted 2002-05-17 10:30 PM


The Scars
(inspired by Oceanus's "Memories")


The cold of Winter deep within
E'en on hot Summer's days
Prevents me from pursuing love
Since One's light left my gaze

Though this One has returned to me
The scars--they still remain
From eye to chin wet ice melts hard
A wound my eyes retain

In light of this the months have gone
And laughter has returned
That One and I did rise again
From ashes where we burned

But still I creep with cautious pride
Afraid my scars will show
For though my peace returned to me
It shines a harsher glow


[This message has been edited by elfin_tigress (05-18-2002 12:28 AM).]

© Copyright 2002 Claire Ring - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
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since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2002-05-17 10:39 PM



Thank goodness you were inspired...
an excellent read!

Casanova
Junior Member
since 1999-06-21
Posts 48
Mays Landing NJ
2 posted 2002-05-17 11:03 PM


Elfin, Great post, and since I Have not yet welcomend you to pip. WELCOME! your going to love it here!
  
                             -Cas

Mistletoe Angel
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since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
3 posted 2002-05-17 11:07 PM




(big hugggssssss) This is so sad but powerful, sweet friend, my heart goes out to you and I hope now your scars have been mended by new renewed hope and love! (sigh) This is excellent, sweet friend, I love it, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet friend, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

elfin_tigress
Member
since 2002-05-15
Posts 101
Someplace
4 posted 2002-05-18 12:30 PM


I changed the title of this twice.  The first time was because "The Scars" made it sound violent.  But I prefer it over my second choice, because it sounded too dramatic and weepy.  So it remains "The Scars."
Thanks for your responses to my poems, everyone!

[This message has been edited by elfin_tigress (05-18-2002 12:31 AM).]

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
5 posted 2002-05-18 03:08 PM


It is hard to understand the depth of our hurts and how it will affect future relationships and actions...James
Magnus
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since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
6 posted 2002-05-18 10:10 PM


Personally,  I like the title....it draws one
to the poem...at least it does me...

This is a well crafted piece of fine art..
Don't tease yourself...

You have well expressed the feelings of
once being burned,  thrice learned!!!

Midnitesun
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since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
7 posted 2002-05-18 11:50 PM


"But still I creep with cautious pride
Afraid my scars will show
For though my peace returned to me
It shines a harsher glow"

Wow, that's some great stinging imagery. Welcome to Passions!

Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
8 posted 2002-05-19 08:51 AM


elfin_tigress,
your poetry shines like that sun and the piece is seamless, no scars at all.
Kethry

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown



Mysteria
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since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
9 posted 2002-05-19 12:52 PM


I truly am enjoying your work, and here again another I very much enjoyed and kept.

  

~* Carpe' Diem *~

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