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Open Poetry #20
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Ordinary Casualty
| Open Poetry #20 |
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Ordinary Casualty |
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Nicole Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835Florida 
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I was running today, and tripped over you snagged like cotton on a nail and I tore a little today bled a little I remembered There was this comfort like pajamas like clean sheets disheveled fervently and sun kissed shivers through the open window who cares about the neighbors and there was something else - right, vanilla I shed you from inside out through a month of intellectual vomit and just plain 'ol tears because, I actually loved you (how trite)...how me I wish I could slice open my belly, down to the core of me to the soul of me, find it bittered and afraid wrapped around my spine yank it out and show you - here this is ME but I can't take the pity again your eyes soften a hue, more grey than blue and they tighten slightly almost as if the whole action is what smoothly tilts your head to the side the corners of your mouth pulled down just a little pursed and perfect then parted to sigh of course, all I could think about was how badly I wished I was that one breath of air right then...pathetic Just another casualty of the situation God, I'm so happy right now though the fabric of me is stretched taut by it ...maybe that's why I caught so easily |
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| © Copyright 2002 Nicole Williams - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
Wow...very intense poem, Snickidoodle. Had to read it several times since my eyes kept distracting me with mental images drawn from your words. This one is very very good! |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
THIS is what i'm talking about - what'd you do with my nicole?!?!?! egads woman, this is POETRY. i've been searching the past fifteen minutes (honest) for a line to say "here, THIS is what makes it good" but... well, i would have had to copy the whole, because what's there needs to be there. i like this a LOT nic - it's raw, unfettered, and yet still personal and true to you. wow. BOL! C |
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Nicole Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835Florida |
Ali - Thank you dear  I appreciate the read..Chris - *laughing* so, are you saying I couldn't write poetry BEFORE this?  I'm really touched by your response. Yanno, when I wrote this, it felt different - I feel like I've actually accomplished something with this one. Thanks hon. BOL |
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
I shed you from inside out through a month of intellectual vomit LOVED this bit. Made me laugh, maybe because it's such an appropriate image. I'm glad I stopped by and found this. Nice to read you again, Nicole. ~moi |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
this is without a doubt one of the best poems I have read on these pages. Poems like this give me a real appreciation for well-done free verse... |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Nicole, this is fantastic!! I love the entire piece so I won't try to choose one or two lines....just fantastic! ~Hugs~ ~Somewhere in my heart I'm always |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
This is superb... reminds me of someone else I know, the style - and it's a style I've always appreciated... I wish I could slice open my belly, down to the core of me to the soul of me, find it bittered and afraid wrapped around my spine yank it out and show you - here this is ME but I can't take the pity again your eyes soften a hue, more grey than blue and they tighten slightly almost as if the whole action is what smoothly tilts your head to the side the corners of your mouth pulled down just a little pursed and perfect then parted to sigh sigh indeed. Well done hon  K |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (smiles) WOW!!! Oh Nicole, your voice shines all through this powerful piece, sweet friedn, you have an amazing talent with free-verse, I agree with Balladeer and other sos very much here! (big hugggssssss) This is a true keeper, sweet friend, I love it, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Nicole, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Nicole, powerful thoughts and excellent use of metaphors....very nicely done... |
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coyote Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 1077 |
Your images extract emotions, while your words portray the truth. An excellent work. coyote |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
you wrote poetry before??? never knew, never knew seriously though, had to point a few people in this direction... awesome is a small word, but all i can think of. hugs you |
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MIdsummerRain Member
since 2002-05-19
Posts 175St. Louis, Missouri |
I wish I could slice open my belly, down to the core of me to the soul of me, find it bittered and afraid wrapped around my spine yank it out and show you - here this is ME... The way you use your words caught me off guard & threw me out of my seat.... AnD I LoVeD EvErY MiNuTe Of It!!! The strands in your eyes |
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IKNAP Junior Member
since 2002-05-19
Posts 47Torrington, Connecticut |
outstang poem, by far on of the best i have read yet! i enjoyed each momet of it |
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my3monkeytoes Member
since 2002-05-11
Posts 152In the Carolina Breeze |
This is wonderful...so...'naked'! I love it! The bluntness of comparison works so well in this piece. ~Sydney McLean |
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Nicole Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835Florida |
I can't tell you all how happily shocked I am by all of your replies! I think this is a record for me. L - Thank'ya girlie...so when do we get to see poetry from YOU? hmm? (see you soon, hopefully?)'Deer - You're making me blush! Thank you thank you, sir. Enchantress - Thank you! K - Really? Coolies - thank you, hon.  Noah - Thanks Magnus - Thank YOU, for taking the time to read. coyote - I appreciate your comment, usually I end up putting too much emotion INTO my work. Thank you Brat - yeah yeah, blah blah  MIdsummerRain - lol, don't hurt yourself! Thank you much IKNAP - I don't know about the best, but thank you! my3monkeytoes - *chuckling* Ask some of my closest friends about my bluntness. Thank you very much. |
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Elizabeth Cor Senior Member
since 2000-10-13
Posts 879Over the river and through the woods |
... |
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Elizabeth Cor Senior Member
since 2000-10-13
Posts 879Over the river and through the woods |
I came back to critique or point or just give something other than slack-jawed silence... and, still, quiet admiration -- and the feel (nearly savor) of that slow, exact slicing -- is all I can manage. But sitting here, I think that's how it's supposed to be, anyway... can I say congratulations? I think that's appropriate... ~smile~ and no question to your disappearance... this IS you, unshuffled and unguarded... consummate. |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
Nicole, its hard to find worthwhile poetry here anymore and I am so glad I clicked on your words to give them a read cuz they was so refreshin' oh yuh! |
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Elizabeth Cor Senior Member
since 2000-10-13
Posts 879Over the river and through the woods |
it's been awhile since I've read anything truly remarkable... so I thought I'd revisit this and get my fill. SHH, Spinach Queen... on SID they have a library dedicated to you -- with good reason. |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
In admiration of you here, Nicole...big floor sweeping bow to you... jwesley |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
I can't beleive I missed this SUPERB piece of writing from you Nicole, sheeesh you have filled me completely with joy, yes because it has been so long since I have read poetry like this. I echo Christopher... This IS poetry!!! and it is landing into my library Maree |
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