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Still...my poetry
| Open Poetry #20 |
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Still...my poetry |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
Write me one last poem before we say goodbye tell me that you’ll think of me on some distant winters night as lantern flickers overhead and breeze is much too warm remember my love remember my name I will never forget yours |
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| © Copyright 2002 Duncan - All Rights Reserved | |||
Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Duncan, you could have written a chapter of 50 pages and not said it any more beautifully than you expressed it within this small poem... |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
A moment of regret perfectly captured. Loved it. She said burn ... together. |
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Tracey Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808where insanity meets breeding |
remember my love remember my name How could one ever forget??? If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please? |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Be still - heart's words... Duncan, this is ever lovely... |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
Beautifully and simply portrayed, Duncan...  ~lots of hugsLyra |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Duncan, I feel as though I want to say something utterly profound or reassuring... yet I am speechless and would rather just sit quietly while reading this one more time, before placing it oh so carefully into my library. ~Hugs~ ~Somewhere in my heart I'm always |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
have to say i think you can do more with this... (that's the down side to writing really well... people start expecting it!) but i do say that the tone is well held, and muchly felt.  C |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
one last poem? uh, ok..... I'll think of you on winter nights When flickering lanterns give off light And the breeze is warm..er, is that right? A warm breeze on a winter night?!?  Well, anyway, I'll think of you While sipping on my morning brew. When donut gets immersed in bean You'll come to mind - know what I mean?  I'm sorry, Duncan. Here you write a tender piece and I mess with it. I do like it...REALLY!  |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggsssssss) Oh Duncan, this is so sad but beautiful, sweet friend, I know this feeling ever so much and I hope now you have found a true love to foreve share your words with and all your friends will always remember you and hold your words close to heart as a memory of friendship! (sigh) This is touching, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Duncan, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Get up Duncan, it can't get any worse than this! Despair is a fine line to cross so don't even go there!! I felt this like a cloak~ |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
Barry Good thing 'cause my attention would never last 50 pages! Thanks. squirrel Not regret, just resignation. Thanks. Trace With your memory?? Good one, darlin! Sunshine Yep, thanks. Lyra Thanks for the read! Nancy That was very sweet, thank you. Chris Thanks for the 'writing very well'...this one 'wrote itself'. Didn't give a lot of thought to the poetry of it. Sometimes, I just feel in words. Michael Krispy Kremes all around! You're buyin!! Noah Yes, someone to always share my words with...I think so. Thanks. Blues Ok...I'm up!! Despair was a few days ago, settling into simple misery now. Just kiddin. Thanks for the read. [This message has been edited by Duncan (05-17-2002 01:01 AM).] |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Write me one last poem before we say goodbye tell me that you'll think of me on some distant winters night ==================================== If Chris's suggestion of doing more with this includes rewriting a new ending ... then this moth must agree ... *sigh* moths dont do well with good bye ya know. winter is a long way off...a lot can happen (ok..I'll hush) this one just makes a moth want to .... well, you know. hugs D mothyme How long can a girl be haunted by you ... |
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Tiersdin Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364east coast |
Duncan, I'm not really a critic, so I can't comment from that aspect. I do know that I love the honesty and simplicity of this poem. Such a tender plea... *smiles* ~Tier "I shall never bond again, as I have bonded with you..." |
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walker Member Elite
since 2001-02-11
Posts 2240Florida |
This is so romantic, I wonder which one feels better, writing a poem to someone or reading a poem decicated to us? Beautiful words here D. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
This is very touching, Duncan...made me want to cry for some reason. |
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