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Open Poetry #20
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Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression

0 posted 2002-05-15 06:17 AM


Working my way through Mortuary School,
After a thunderstorm the air turned cool,
As I walked from house to house in the steam
That rose from the street like ghosts barely seen.

Magazines subscriptions door to door all day
Broken ego in slammed portals turning me away,
But obtaining school money was an important matter
Because it cost plenty to carve on a fresh cadaver

The sun has set as I came to where I hadn’t been,
A narrow street that came to a darkened dead end.
The bricks were dark red with withered vines clinging
There was no buzzer, no knocker, no bell for ringing.

Some device to signal my presence I was seeking
When slowly the door opened with a soft creaking,
And there framed in the dark she stood before me
A thin frame and smooth pale skinned woman of beauty.

She looked deep into my soul with pale green eyes,
Voiceless I stood enthralled and mentally paralyzed,
Her black laced dress accented her ivory skin
Which refused to catch motion in the passing wind.

Time hung in eternity the moments were a week
Finally after years I found a voice to speak.
The words I said to my heart sounded the fool
I didn’t care for magazines I didn’t care about school
My thoughts were for something I hadn’t thought to seek.

She motioned me inside to the dark beyond
At last I could move and I entered her home
But on entering I found that she had gone,
I stood in the dusty emptiness all alone.

The room was darker than the outside night,
Broken furniture lay beneath layers of dust,
With motionless time I acquired limited sight
To see a carved wood door with handle of rust.

Feet that I couldn’t control moved me,
Drawing me onward to that once fine door,
Whispering in my brain that’s where I should be,
Inside and beyond is what the whispering did implore.

My mixed emotions were partly of fear,
Alone in the darkness but curiosity did consume,
I touched the handle and felt a presence near
A longing of loving coming from inside the room.

I opened the door and closed my eyes tight,
A statue of conviction the wanted to run away
As eyes opened wide to a glimmering twilight
That left me questioning if I should stay.

On the threshold I stood opposite the fireplace,
Which was cold and dark like the rest of the room,
But above the mantle had a painting of her face,
Her green eyes glimmered piercing the gloom.

End Part 1

Gloom
I don’t know if I’ll get to part 2,
but, if I don’t perhaps your imaginations will supply
possible endings.




© Copyright 2002 Aszard Drazlom - All Rights Reserved
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
1 posted 2002-05-15 09:21 AM


Oh this is scary!!! A good poem to read on a dark and stormy night!
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
2 posted 2002-05-15 09:39 AM


Professor Gloom
An excellent part one. Waiting for an excellent part two.

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
3 posted 2002-05-15 02:25 PM



You and suthern are on a roll...I would very much like to read part II, Professor...very, very much...

I also liked the five line stanza that seemed to speed up the more "anxious" feel of the piece...

[This message has been edited by Sunshine (05-15-2002 02:27 PM).]

Zinsser
Senior Member
since 2001-02-27
Posts 1641
Calif.
4 posted 2002-05-16 03:49 PM


This is very very interesting... I feel part 2 in the works  LOL
nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
5 posted 2002-05-16 04:03 PM


I think I may try my hand at this one..it seems intriguing...
*s
M

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
6 posted 2002-05-17 09:04 AM


Although my own rhyme pattern and not what you had in mind...I added to this
my own way:

Mixed Emotions

The likeness of person, depiction familiar
On an intimate level, as I studied the form.
The dust began stirring to my surprise
Then wrapped me in feeling, of arms keeping warm.

Where in my memory piercing began
To locate the meaning as warmth spread its touch.
Was this just a dream or event in the making.
The feelings of more, began reaching for such.

I had mixed emotions, those magazine sales,
That led me to yearning, my learning on hold.
I combed every corner to trace of her presence.
But all that I felt was the time growing old.


thought I may as well leave it here ...
*s
M

Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression
7 posted 2002-05-17 09:49 AM


Thank you all
Especially Nakdthoughts for the continuation
I fear I won’t get to it,
But I’m glad you liked this unfinished work well enough
To comment on to kindly.

Gloom

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