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Open Poetry #20
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Isolation
| Open Poetry #20 |
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Isolation |
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D.Lester Young Senior Member
since 2001-12-08
Posts 1219Austin, Tx |
In a room too small to breathe my mind shrinks I evaporate into a puddle of emotion afraid to crawl For the pain of reality means you must contribute But to open the war wounds creates such pain The chair sweats in anger for the abuse of its time As words cling together in static charges But yet diffuse you so, in mixed messages The screen blurs from eyes that have cried for too much time As sleepless nights go into listless days The evolving circles make you heartsick How can so much be within you And no spigot will release it In a flash of night into day Of good into bad Of mind over matter Your spirit rises from its hellhole In small inspirations of unknown proportions The puzzle develops like a masterpiece With no theme As you put together your nightmare Your mind sharpens to see an exterior vision Of intense gravitational pull Excuse me I have to go to the bathroom You recover to feel exhilarated That your constipation was built up frustration Now that the room has somehow expanded The keys to sanity start to click creating words That spell checks correct for you in improved vision The exhilaration somehow makes you sweat in anticipation For the mind is actually working In such an intensity that it surely must burst in pride Yes the flow is there and the music is coming And even the cat is know purring Oh notes creates the words to flow with you In the harmony of releasing me From this solitary confinement As the towels takes the sweat from my naked body My mind prances on a flight of freedom Swirling in the free spirit of Indian dances The circle now complete The mind must release the mystic trance Garden of pure ecstasy flower within me Creating a floral arrangement in aromas too wild to imagine Let the winds carry me like a newborn baby Ready to start the voyage of extreme creativity To sleep upon clouds of imaginations In stars that will create my universe Of immense proportions That I will see the light from every direction In the softness of humanity at its best Let me have the colors of never ending variation To build my heaven out of a hellhole of isolation Let me paint my way out in brilliant words Creating magic walls to pass threw Into the imagination of vivid readers That floats before me now non-tethered Reaching such peace That they now feel enlightened I must retire to my isolation To go to another level Until my words hit the souls That drives me out of my seclusion Email me at [email protected] D.Lester Young (05/13/02) Tuscaloosa, AL Copyright © D.Lester Young (White Eagle poetry) http://www.authorsden.com/visit/author.asp?AuthorID=5012 |
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| © Copyright 2002 David Lester Young - All Rights Reserved | |||
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
My mind prances on a flight of freedom Swirling in the free spirit of Indian dances And this was quite a spin of spirit walk here...the above lines captured for me the exhilaration of "release"-- wonderful. |
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Macha Junior Member
since 2002-05-12
Posts 14 |
This is an incredibly (pardon the adverb) powerful and emotive poem, complex in articulation and expressing your idea well. (Remember, this is just my own opinion.) I like the way you describe what you sense and feel: the what your vision sees, physically and mentally, as well as the tactile sense of sweating,the description of emotion and the days passing (sense of time). I think you tied all of your ideas together artfully from the introduction to the conclusion. |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
That's a nice critique you recieved from Macha. I have to say this piece evokes a lot of thought and it's very well presented!! |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
The chair sweats in anger for the abuse of its time Great use of imagery, James...not just this line...I mean the whole poem.  ~many hugsLyra |
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amusemi Senior Member
since 2001-12-08
Posts 1262A State of Disarray |
Like I said...a chord. I know this place and it can be so disturbing. I love the way you portrayed such need and ache in this. I try to capture that, but it alludes... Awe inspiring!  |
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