Open Poetry #20 |
The Last Gift...... |
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
When I was just a boy of eight the thought first came to me That I could show my mother I had reached maturity. My cunning mind gave lots of thought and came up with the way - I'd buy her something nice that she could have for Mother's Day! Not being rich at that young age who knew how I would pay For something that would qualify as fit for Mother's Day? But I was sure as pigs were pork I'd find a way and then She'd take the gift and tell me what a thoughtful boy I'd been. I've told you all of my small town. I wrote it in a poem Of how less than a hundred people called that place their home. A pimple on Missouri's face that never went away. The closest town was over twenty-seven miles away. So I set out to raise the cash - I only had six days. Not easy for an eight year old...there weren't too many ways To find a nickel for a coke or penny for some gum But I knew if I tried my best that sweet success would come. Sometimes down at the park behind the tavern folks would sit On benches or on blankets late at night to kiss a bit So every morning I'd go down and search each bit of ground In case some change had fallen while the lovers messed around. Then I went on a bottle search - two cents for every one! I checked each trash can in the town - I didn't miss a one! I checked the ditches by the road for ones that had been hurled By passersby who littered this small corner of the world. My dad? He was a lazy guy who loved to sit and slouch The minute he got home to watch some tv from the couch So late at night I checked the cushions right where he had sat And always found a coin or two...what do you think of THAT?! I took lunch money meant for school and squirreled it all away, Ate twice as much for breakfast so I'd make it through the day. I must admit for those six days my life was pretty rough But finally the time came when I felt I had enough! We only had the general store - no other store in town So I went in with all my loot to have a look around. The store just had some groceries, feed and some hardware supplies And there was not a gift in sight that came before my eyes. But it was Mother's Day! There was no way to leave without Some thoughtful gift for that was what this whole thing was about! So I went through the store again, a more determined man, And that was when my eyes fell on - that shiny frying pan! Moms used frying pans and stuff to cook food every night. It seemed to me a gift like that would fill her with delight! So I plunked down my hard-earned cash, face beaming with elation Then hurried home to wrap it for this glorious occasion. I had some doodle paper I had brought home from the school That had some flowers and beetle-bugs that I thought really cool. I wrapped that gift up real tight - I used three rolls of tape.. I had to make sure that darned frying pan would not escape!!! Mom was in the kitchen at the stove when I walked in With prideful stagger in my walk, befitting thoughtful men. Her back was to me and she jumped a full foot off the ground As I screamed "Happy Mother's Day!" and set her present down. "What's this?!", she yelled. "Why did you scream? I almost burned my hand!" (This presentation of the GIFT did not go as I planned.) She ripped the paper off and said in voice that sounded mean, "That is, by far, the dumbest present I have ever seen!" She then began to laugh and tossed my present in the sink. My mind had been so jumbled by her words I couldn't think. Crushed beneath her laughter there was nothing I could say. I stood there for a minute then I turned and walked away. It has been almost fifty years since her words made me wince And I have never sent another card or present since. So, mothers, if your son presents you with a frying pan Show gratitude because one day that boy will be a man..... [This message has been edited by Balladeer (08-11-2011 08:21 AM).] |
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© Copyright 2002 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved | |||
Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
It has been almost fifty years since her words made me wince Different situation, different words...same memory. Wonder if she remembers? |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Michael, super!....It is not the gift, but the giving that is important... Let us all remember that thought... |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
It is the thought behind the gift...and how this breaks a mother's heart, to think someone was so unfeeling... thanks for sharing... |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
’Deer dearest heart You did it again had me spellbound all through Utterly perfect writing, excellent phrasing in this and the lines are exquisite. As for the love in the gift it shines like a beacon of light, illumining and brightening the soul, and my soul in particular. My son bought me a rabbit once, presented it to me with a ribbon around its neck. Very thrifty present I got more than any of us bargained for, that rabbit was pregnant because it gave birth and I had four baby rabbits to go with it. Krissy and Emma brought me three live chickens, we only had a small garden, I couldn’t kill them, they never laid any eggs, and they ate and ate and ate. Finally I found someone willing to take them but they had to swear not to kill them, you know those chickens started laying eggs as soon as they were in their new home. You know this is exceptionally well written, I love it utterly, I utterly utterly love it. Always you excel this is superb Love and warm stuff As always Mushy To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace Luke 2:79 |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Oh 'Deer, I do hope this is just a story and not true at all. I recall getting some pretty strange things for Mother's Day. Things the kids made in school mostly... in fact I have one huge drawer full.. no way could I ever part with an ashtray, (I don't smoke) nor a set of handprints made of ceramic, with such loving care. (some things to this day I don't quite know what they are.) Wonderful write Michael..as only you can!! ~Big Hugs~ ~Somewhere in my heart I'm always |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
You're the finest storyteller I know! Excellent message and I hope that it is a story and not true to life 'cause any mother would love any gift from a cutie patootie like you! Take care, Melissa~ "Poetry is not an opinion expressed... |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
(big hugggssssssss) Oh Michael, I'm so very sorry your mom couldn't accept the gift and respect you that day, sweet friend, even if she didn't like the gift that much, she could have said, "Thank you for thinking of me, that's very thoughtful and sweet of you!" (sad sigh) My heart goes out to you, sweet friend, I wish all mothers could be more supportive of their children always and respond compassionately to when children give! (sigh) My heart goes out to you, sweet friend, this is a sad memory indeed, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Balladeer, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Duncan..probably never know.. Magnus...you are absoultely right, sir.. Sunshine...and thanks for caring. Mushy...sounds like when someone thinks of you they think of animals. You can stop a chicken from laying eggs? That's powerful!!! Enchantress...don't ever throw them away. Your children will always love you for it. Melissa...unfortunately I had one who didn't. On the other hand I was probably a pretty rotton kid...glad you enjoyed, patootie. Noah...I shoulda had you for a mother! Thank you, my friend. |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Awwww, poor Deer! Let me give you a big hug! This is such a sad tale, hope it's only a tale. Cor |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
This story made me cry, Michael Believe it or not, I have almost the exact same story to tell, but I could never do it as expertly as you do. When I was about 8 or 9, I saved my allowence for months, to buy my Dad something extra special for his birthday. Although I grew up in NYC, there really is no way for a kid to get around without using a car or public transportation...but there was a store close to my school, which carried men's clothing, so I bought my Dad a beautiful pink and charcoal grey tie and some matching socks. I wrapped them very carefully and even made my own birthday card for him. He acted like he really loved the gift, but that night, I heard him joking about it with his friends, telling them how he would never wear such a putred tie. I was absolutely mortified and very hurt. After that, I always bought him a book for his birthday. Like Nancy, I too, have all the presents my kids ever gave me for my birthday and Mother's Day...I even still use the pencil holder that my younger son made for me when he was in 4th grade...and I use the ashtray (I don't smoke either) that my older son made for me, as a place to keep my earrings. Fantastic poem, by the way... ~Mother's Day hugs Lyra |
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Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
such a sad tale.....peace to you.... Lauren~ I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings |
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rosepetals25
since 2000-05-31
Posts 3076PA |
Balladeer, This is so sad I got lucky with a mother that gush and cry no matter what I brought home *chuckles* You should see some of the stuff I made in elementry school! Let's just say I'm not an artist LOL. She always treated it like is was gold though. Hugs, Tara "My heart is like an open book, for the whole world to read" |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
A lesson can be learned at any age to be sensitive to your children's feelings, or anyone's for that matter. Further, the gift is in the giving, not the gift itself. Pssst, sometimes they grow up to be women too Thank you for writing what will become my cyber Mother's Day card Michael, and everyone I know is going to get a copy of it. A+ We should spend less time worrying about when our life is going to end and more on when it's going to start! |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I understand. |
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Saunni Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 1777West Virginia |
This is by far the saddest thing I've read. I was so shocked at the ending...I was waiting for an applause for you. I'm sorry! You wrote of this so well though. Sauni:)The Only Time I See The Sun Is When I'm Within That Vanilla Breeze.The Only Time I'm One With The Sun Is When He Shelters Me From The Rain. L.S |
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Titia Geertman Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182Netherlands |
Damn Moms sometimes, but Deer my sweet you may give me A fryingpan for Mother's day I'll cherish it the way it's meant And in my kitchen it will stay Hugs and a whole bag of knuffels to you Titia A rose is a rose is a rose...I guess... |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
It was hard to say more last evening...because it made me remember the box I had made to hold my mother's "jewels"...a little cigar box, painted over, with attempts at rose flowers to grace and adorn, in childish attempt. She was always so pretty whenever she wore little bits of jewelry, which were not often, and this special, special box was to keep them safely tucked away when they did not adorn her... it got about the same approval as the frying pan. She did not mean for it to be that way...but that was the way it was...her mind going one way, my heart going the other... |
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SmartChick Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081On A Journey To The Unknown |
Oh Balladeer, I am so sorry your mother didn't appreciate your gift. I think that was a lovely Mothers Day Present. You worked so hard for that, too. |
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Krissy Senior Member
since 2002-02-22
Posts 556kent England |
’Deer hi there how well you’ve written this story, and how could she not love the present? It seems sometimes mothers can be a little thoughtless, but they are human and make mistakes too. Although as children we never imagine that they do. You know you have an amazing ability to tell a story, you give it all the nuances and the details that colour it and make it human. You animate it and make it breathe, the story becomes real. This is wonderful writing and of course I love it. Oh how I remember those chickens, I wanted to get mum a lion, but the budget wouldn’t stretch to one, not even a toy one Love and warm stuff As always Krissy And while thy willing soul transpiers |
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devina Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539Cali |
New frying pan huh? Damn...I need one at the moment!! Poor Deer...I never would have guessed!!! I'll keep this in mind...considering my daughter could bring home ANYTHING at the moment!!! Glad to see your sense of humor still intact with this one!!! Open arms can be the most fragile in the world... |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
Excellent Deer. Your stories are wonderful....I still have everything April ever gave me, including the ring that turns my fingers green!! But I treasure them so....Hugs to you Michael. Like a red brick, |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Balladeer, Excellent write, But then that's average for you. |
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andEmmamakes3 Member
since 2002-05-11
Posts 66Kent |
Ahaha the famous ‘Deer, hello Mr Balladeer, I’m Emma the youngest, and the prettiest of Mushy’s daughters. And I’ve long been an admirer of your writing. This is one of the reasons why, normally I don’t like long poems, I’ve got to be up and doing, but your writing is exceptional. I really love this story, it’s told with such skill and aplomb. Terribly sad, no gift that is given with the heart should be received like that, mum has still got the egg I made in kindergarten, she keeps it with her Faberge egg that was brought for her birthday. She says it’s just as special. Now you have know you have another fan, nice to finally meet you Mr Balladeer, or can I call you ‘Deer? lots of love Emma Eternity, stands laughing at old time |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Corinne...I'll take your hug any day! Madame C...I'm sorry that happened to you but at least it taught you how to treat your own childen. That counts... Greeneyes...peace back at you...and thank you. Tara...it WAS gold! It was from you.. Mysteria...I thank you, lady. It's always an honor being a card for you... DeVine one...I know you do.. Saunni...thank you. Sometimes life doesn't provide happy endings... Titia...frying pan? I'll give you an entire pantry!!!! Sunshine...thanks for sharing that. Things we never forget, aren't they? SmartChick...well, it taught me a little ingenuity anyway! Thanks for your kind words. Krissy...thatnks for enjoying my work. A lion for your mum? I would have loaned you the money just to see that!!!!!!!!! devina...I'd bring you a frying pan but my life has gone to pot!!! Gentle one...and treasure them you should. They are filled with love. Thank you.. Sy...been feeling a little below average lately but I'm working on it emma...the youngest and prettiest? WOW! Mushy and Krissy are real good-lookers so you must really be something! Welcome to our little spot! So you gave Mushy an egg but Krissy's checkens wouldn't lay one? There's a deep lesson in that, I think! WELCOME!! |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Are we related? *S* Are you my long lost sibling? *S* And you just had to take all the good looks, didn't you? Dang! LOL This reminds me so much of a poem I wrote called Thistles... I like your poem better but understand all too well. |
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