When a woman dies (a serenity challenge with a small twist)

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bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

0 posted 2002-05-10 12:49 PM

This poem is a response to a challenge from serenity
asking poets to use the phrase "When an old man dies,
a library burns down" somewhere in it. I cheated,
'cause frankly, I'd rather write about young women!

cough

Anyway...

-When a woman dies-
When a woman dies, a library burns.
Her books incinerate like moths.
By pale light of the morning calm
her smoke pulls up to watch the clouds.
Shelves lined with dead floral scents
commingle memories to ash.
A cover floats among red brick
and brown frames, to the river lost.

When a woman dies, a library burns
in tears and mud. Surrendered dreams.
Her songs are scored and cut by flame.
A bell's black clap rings out her name.
Her fingertips learn snug of dust.
Anna, annotate love's rust.
When a woman dies, the clocks melt down.
She radiates snow rain through town.

[This message has been edited by bsquirrel (05-10-2002 02:18 PM).]

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

1 posted 2002-05-10 02:01 PM

YOU ARE SOOOO COOL!!!!
KA...LOOK!!...he penned a MOTH ANTHEM!!!

keeping this one...printing it out as we speak...
*doing moth happy dance*

YOU ROCK me groovy squirrel dude poet

When your own emptiness is all thats getting through
There comes a point when youre not sure why youre still talking...
I passed that point long ago

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

2 posted 2002-05-10 02:16 PM

Janet ...

Grooovay.

And at first, I thought "KA" was just a happy non-word you were making, THEN I realized it was initials!

Groovay with smashed potatoes.

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

3 posted 2002-05-10 04:02 PM

Excellent twist to the challenge sir!! I enjoyed and I'm not even a moth!

Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

4 posted 2002-05-10 04:10 PM

great work here. . .

love the way that you made the challenge your own. . . that's as it should be. . .

--------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Greeneyes

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-09-09

Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

5 posted 2002-05-10 04:58 PM

I do love your words!!

Lauren~

I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings
Could I have been anyone other than me
True poems rest between the words
Give hope a chance to float, it will

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

6 posted 2002-05-10 05:05 PM

BRAVO!!! Wow, I love the twist of this, sweet friend, you always amaze me with your voice and how you shift it! (sigh) This is an excellent challenge response, sweet friend, BRAVO, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiufl heart, sweet Michael, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

7 posted 2002-05-10 06:19 PM

Glad you all enjoyed, a' course.

She said burn ... together.
-TON

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

8 posted 2002-05-10 07:29 PM

When a woman dies, the clocks melt down

you are simply incredible. sighs and hugs and much gratitude for this...

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

9 posted 2002-05-10 07:32 PM

Now if only they helped with flying roaches.

Glad you enjoyed. And much gratitude to you in return.

She said burn ... together.
-TON

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This poem is a response to a challenge from serenityasking poets to use the phrase "When an old man dies,a library burns down" somewhere in it. I cheated,'cause frankly, I'd rather write about young women!*cough*Anyway...

This poem is a response to a challenge from serenity
asking poets to use the phrase "When an old man dies,
a library burns down" somewhere in it. I cheated,
'cause frankly, I'd rather write about young women!

cough

Anyway...