The Dream (challenge) - pipTalk Forums

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Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

0 posted 2002-05-10 01:45 AM

The Dream

I sit upon the gilded throne
as the sun sets in the west
looking around I see you there
and count you among the best

You served my father as your king
knew him as fair and just
now I ask that you give me
your soldier’s faith and trust

I see the looks in your eyes
you all scorn my female birth
I was not trained to lead you thus
and so must prove my worth

The crown I wear sits heavily
upon my golden tresses
velvet cape adorned with fur
now hides my schoolgirl dresses

The tasks seem too much to bear
I am but fourteen, maiden still
Holding back frightened tears
I draw upon my ancestral will

I stand, your Maiden Sovereign
ruler of the empire of Atool
crowned by fate serve as your Queen
charged by birth to wisely rule

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

1 posted 2002-05-10 01:48 AM

*trying not to squeal* YOU DO KNOW WE HAVE TO TALK, RIGHT?

omg....this is FANTASTIC!!! This is exactly what I was looking for, dreams as study of collective unconscious, rooted in Mythology...dancing here! grin.

RosePetal

Member Elite

since 2001-08-26

Posts 2985
South Florida

2 posted 2002-05-10 02:12 AM

you are a queen in my eyes ms. devine

this is awesome and i think im going to give the challenge a try!

Professor Gloom
Member Elite

since 2000-07-23

Posts 3082
of Depression

3 posted 2002-05-10 05:47 AM

Very nicely done,
meeting the challenge and excelling in it.
I fear my dreams would not go as well
probably banned even in the dark.

Gloom

Saunni
Senior Member

since 2000-07-11

Posts 1777
West Virginia

4 posted 2002-05-10 07:31 AM

Awesome, just an awesome write here!

Sauni:)The Only Time I See The Sun Is When I'm Within That Vanilla Breeze.The Only Time I'm One With The Sun Is When He Shelters Me From The Rain. L.S

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

5 posted 2002-05-10 08:49 AM

BRAVO!!! Oh Sharon, this is wonderful, sweet friend, I believe we can be anyone in our dreams and to us all, you are a Queen of poetic inspiration! (big hugggssssss) This is lovely, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Sharon, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

SmartChick
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-09-23

Posts 7081
On A Journey To The Unknown

6 posted 2002-05-10 09:36 AM

I like this. This is very good.

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

7 posted 2002-05-10 12:02 PM

Your worth has been more than proven with this. Not that you had to.

paladin

Senior Member

since 2001-08-05

Posts 930
Pensacola,Fl.

8 posted 2002-05-10 12:06 PM

May I ride at your back and protect you from all evil?My sword and shield stand ready.

paladin

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

9 posted 2002-05-10 12:32 PM

You know what? This went ENTIRELY in a different direction than I wanted it to. Stubborn Muse!

Thank you for your kind replies. I appreciate you all!

Mon Cherie

Senior Member

since 2001-10-31

Posts 922
Land of Never-ending Summers

10 posted 2002-05-10 02:38 PM

What a dream, Poet DeVine!! You're a young, beautiful maiden Queen. You commanding any handsome young knights???

_,,,^.^,,,_
Florence

Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

11 posted 2002-05-10 04:12 PM

who says that it's your Muse that's stubborn??

you know that I really enjoy when you write like this. . .keep going!!

-------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

12 posted 2002-05-10 04:16 PM

Thank you "stubborn muse" what a wonderful piece of writing Sharon.

We should spend less time worrying about when our life is going to end and more on when it's going to start!

Greeneyes

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-09-09

Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

13 posted 2002-05-10 04:53 PM

Sharon~

Indeed a 'devine' piece of poetry....beautifully written....

Lauren~

I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings
Could I have been anyone other than me
True poems rest between the words
Give hope a chance to float, it will

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