Open Poetry #20 |
Toerag the Professor |
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
(brought back to put the rascal in his place) Old Toerag seem to get a kick Of picking on my job… If I'm no intellect like him Then I must be a slob. Well, I guess it is up to me To teach this boy a lesson. It's time to take a look at mister Toerag's great profession. They say that he's a teacher. Of what, I'm not quite sure. It certainly isn't English or Some form of literature. They say when he conducts his class He really has a nerve. His tests are given orally And he grades 'on the curve'. If a student's blouse is buttoned up Where he can't see her cleft, She may as well forget her grade. She's gonna get an "F". If her skirt comes up just far enough To show a dimpled knee And, perhaps a flash of nylon, then She might just get a "D". If she drops her chalk a lot And bends over from the waist, There is no doubt beside her name A "C" will then be placed. If the skirt is up and neckline down Exposing double D's, Just bet the farm and bank account Her grade will be a "B". And, for those special students Who really want that "A" And don't let anything like prudence Get up in their way They ask for help with homework And give Toerag their address They spend the night just boning up On lessons, I would guess. Then, if by early morning, They've satisfied Toerag By putting out….strong effort, then The "A" is in the bag. So, ladies, if you go to school And sit in Toerag's class To get an "A" by Toerag's rules, You better show your a….! |
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© Copyright 2002 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved | |||
Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
LOL! (giggles in delight) Oh, that naughty boy, and I bet if someone was absent he would flunk them! (smiles) This is a wonderfully amusing piece, sweet friend, he will stop at nothing, AHHHH, we all ove you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Balladeer, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." Shakira [This message has been edited by Mistletoe Angel (05-09-2002 08:17 PM).] |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Noah...it's not Toerag with the sweet heart, you meatball!!! |
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Titia Geertman Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182Netherlands |
If Toerag is that kind of teacher And you are just a slob Then hey you dummy Balladeer You should be snatching his job Then you are in position Of giving all those A's To students scarcely dressed With here and there some lace Ha ha that would teach him Titia A rose is a rose is a rose...I guess... |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Michael....this is hilarious..... BTW....I am putting on my kevlar that fends off crude comments and crass poetry.... Just in case you get any eyedeers.....Eh??? |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
On the last day of the school year Students there were in a daze 'Caue all the girls received an F And all the boys got A's!! |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Giggling here |
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SmartChick Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081On A Journey To The Unknown |
LOLOLOL! Shame on you toerag! |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Okay, now that was cruel. In all sorts of good ways. |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
And to think that I didn't have to prompt either of you this time! M'deer you rule! Melissa~ "Poetry is not an opinion expressed... |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
’Deer dearest heart this is utterly utterly brilliant, I laughed and laughed. Being such an innocent of course I can’t possibly fill in the last word, approval, assets, uuummm ability … oh I know its aspidistra. What a strange thing to have to take to school. Silly of me not to have guessed really. Absolutely perfect writing as always, the flow and meter absolutely perfect no one ever writes as well as you do, and this as usual is spot on Krissy will love this particularly since she had a teacher just like Toerag I love it too it’s absolutely utterly utterly perfect Love and warm stuff As always Mushy To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace Luke 2:79 |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
hey..i wouldn't mind a job like Toerag's...i can get to relieve some of my sexual tension.. |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
Now isn't this crude!!! Of course I give "A's" now and then, if they have short hems, Of course I give "B's" if their thongs are merely "G's", and yes I give D's if they keep together their knees...I have class yanno!!! This is classic 'deer..I think Balladeer's been smoking crack, they say that enhances your personality...but if ya already have a personality of a horse rear.....well....'nuff said.... |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
It does take some perception To figure this one out Which of the two is classier Which do you think has clout One proudly hangs his underwear To flutter in the breeze The other fellow,' life revolves On soft and dimpled knees I'd say the two are equal As far as class and clout One displays his long johns The other goes without Ya both got class Liz |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
While Deer is chasing little bugs Six days per week... or seven Toerag's guiding lucky gals On a stairway to heaven. How I'd love to take his course... I'd try my best to pass - But with such a long waiting list I can't get in the class!! |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Balladeer, If Mad magazine was still around you could write the week-end issue. Enjoying |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
I wonder what the subject is that Mr. Toe does teach? he sounds less like a teacher and more like a lecherous leach if a young girl in his class wants a generous grade she won't be able to get it unless her is on parade I bet he teaches home ec or maybe sex education in either case he has the chance for plenty of flirtation he probably doesn't teach shop or coach the football team but maybe he coaches the cheerleaders and teaches them to scream oh well, I have to stop somewhere I guess its time to go and I hope that I've not angered him but why does he call himself Toe? I enjoyed your poem, Michael... ~hugs to your friend Mr.Toe Lyra |
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Krissy Senior Member
since 2002-02-22
Posts 556kent England |
’Deer hi there mum’s right I do like this a lot it made me laugh too. I had a teacher so like this it’s uncanny, Mr Hayward, his nickname was Ellie, short for elephant. Whenever there was a new girl in his year he’d say ‘I do impressions, do you want to see my elephant impression?’ Then he’d pull his pockets out from his trousers. I’m sure he thought it was funny. No one else did. I liked this it was really funny you certainly know how to make a girl laugh, unlike the unlamented Ellie. Wonderful writing as always Love and warm stuff As always Krissy And while thy willing soul transpiers |
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