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Open Poetry #20
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- Chicken Soup Is Tasteless -
| Open Poetry #20 |
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- Chicken Soup Is Tasteless - |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA 
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I'm on yet another odd metaphor kick and my muse is still a little sad, so humour me okay? Chicken Soup Is Tasteless I used to be a dreamcatcher collecting vespers in threads of hair where the moon dripped smiles to milk skin and peter pan winked my eyes in the bend of flight. Now, shooting stars dance my breath no more across emblazon of wishing well sky. Winged lashes laugh not against cheek, but, rather seep a tear on porcelain memory, cracked by a thousand regrets. I should have read the fine print before I signed with blood. I have failed to make a dent in the world, I am an accident of birth, of careless lust and unplanned consequence, wearing the stained flesh of my mother's loss. I build a bridge, then walk around, dissecting what could have been, stricken on melancholy's leash, fervor raped by the void. I wanted miracles yesterday and it's hard to accept that today has come empty handed, as nothing leads to nothing leads to nothing. If only once more, just once, would the moon let me borrow his smile, fingertips would play the stars as lovers, then I'd be beautiful for a while. But, there is no life in living the knife that slices down to the bone, and, death will be a salvation, I am merely existing, alone. I've learned that faith isn't always as black and white as it always seems, that leper legs can't run through colour-coated dreams. But, most of all, I've lost the hunger, that appetite for cope, of anorexic hope that time or TLC can't afford to cure because chicken soup is tasteless. By Melissa P. Monette [This message has been edited by Melissa Honeybee (05-07-2002 12:27 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2002 Melissa P. Long-Monette - All Rights Reserved | |||
Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Missy, Then it's time for a new cook...baby!  It's never too late to have a good childhood! Woohoo! |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Hey lady, I like this much...the way you wove the title is superb. Describes exactly the catch 22 of depression--it's hard to do what is good for you, when you no longer care. A very apt analogy here! (Hmmm...yanno? I don't feel like it? But I think I WILL go for that good night's sleep and that early walk around the park, now that you made me think of it!  ) |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Understand completley, Melissa. You said it well. Very well. Sandra |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggssssssss) Oh Meliisa, this is indeed so very sad, sweet friend, I know how it can seem so hopeless when we are in despair and we just don't want to risk using up all that's part of us to cope, but yet deep down I know even when it so cold outside that our lips get numb and we can't taste the chicken soup as it is, all we have to do is put a little salt in it and we are bound to begin to taste the ingredients and have the salt clear our wounds like peroxide to a scab! (sigh) My heart goes out to you, sweet friend, time will ease the hurt, God Bless You, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Melissa, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Well Melissa Honeybee, you took on depression and sqeeezed every known trick it has of tormenting and put it into one fantastic poem. I especially loved these lines... "I build a bridge, then walk around, dissecting what could have been, stricken on melancholy's leash, fervor raped by the void." Your salvation and mine both would be to meet "Mr. Right" right? By the way your intro - Sure, I'll humor you, but you say your muse is still a little blue, how about a poem about "Muse Blues"  Get it? "Blues Clues", "Moody Blues", oh what the heck you know what I mean right?Great job on this kiddo! ~* ~ Carpe' Diem ~*~ What if tomorrow never comes? [This message has been edited by Mysteria (05-07-2002 02:23 PM).] |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
I wanted miracles yesterday and it's hard to accept that today has come empty handed, as nothing leads to nothing leads to nothing Dear Melissa - sweet poetess. I beg to differ as every new day "is" a miracle and a gift of "new beginnings". You have such great talent - what a blessing that is!! Take heart!! Well written indeed. Chris Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away. |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
as I've said before Melissa. . . your darkness brings much to the table. . . well done. . . ---------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Very interesting and well written piece here Melissa! ~Comforting Hugs~ |
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NapalmsConstantlyConfused
since 2001-05-15
Posts 529 |
dark poetry always walks a fine line between too little sentiment and too much. it is a balance most poets never strike; it is a balance few strike more than once. this poem is an absolute treasure, not only for its sheer technical craftsmanship but for its rarity - you have reached that balance, dear lady, and lifted the bar for the rest of us. this is truly beautiful writing, and it renews my faith in humanity to know that out of such pain and darkness can come such beauty and inspiration. Bravo, and more than bravo; this is a masterwork. -Dave |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
I used to be a dreamcatcher collecting vespers in threads of hair where the moon dripped smiles to milk skin and peter pan winked my eyes in the bend of flight. Now, shooting stars dance my breath no more across emblazon of wishing well sky. Winged lashes laugh not against cheek, but, rather seep a tear on porcelain memory, cracked by a thousand regrets. I should have read the fine print before I signed with blood. I have failed to make a dent in the world, I am an accident of birth, of careless lust and unplanned consequence, wearing the stained flesh of my mother's loss. I build a bridge, then walk around, dissecting what could have been, stricken on melancholy's leash, fervor raped by the void. I wanted miracles yesterday and it's hard to accept that today has come empty handed, as nothing leads to nothing leads to nothing. If only once more, just once, would the moon let me borrow his smile, fingertips would play the stars as lovers, then I'd be beautiful for a while. But, there is no life in living the knife that slices down to the bone, and, death will be a salvation, I am merely existing, alone. ========================================= You have written a whole nother poem inside the "chicken soup" metaphor that you intended... IMHO ... you didnt need that metaphor or analogy with the rest of this poem (highlighted above).... these images and expressions are achingly stunning...strikingly poetic with your gift of emote and imagery The theme of the dreamcatcher...the night sky(stars, moon)..the loneliness, the bridge all worked together to create this ethereal melancholy masterpiece...I humbly think they stand on their own and the last couple verses changed tracks and should be part of another poem with the health, anorexia, hunger theme with food analogies kept as the primary metaphor...that by your title I assume you are going for. You have two clever poems going here...my queen of metaphor.  |
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SmittenKitten Senior Member
since 2001-06-20
Posts 1131where the sky and horizon meet |
MelissaBee~ Wow....JM is right, you are the queen of metaphor! There is *so* much contained in this piece...you could write poem after poem just taking each stanza and running with it. Honestly, you just overflow with unique imagery. Beautiful write sweet poetess....I hope you cheer up soon :squeeze But either way, your writing is a testament to your beautiful heart and the talent you possess. Keep writing! *hugs* ~Krista Your beautiful words & creativity allow me to connect with the same in myself. |
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Dulcinea Senior Member
since 2001-07-22
Posts 774IN |
Melissa, I do hope your muse changes directions soon, but I did find this: [quote]but, rather seep a tear on porcelain memory, cracked by a thousand regrets.{/quote] a very profoundly beautiful line. I enjoyed the entire piece. My best to you! ((hug)) |
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