Open Poetry #20 |
Hooked.....................................from #10 |
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
A passion for the love of fishing courses through my soul. To catch the biggest, fastest fish is every sportsman's goal. To have fish frying on the grill that you yourself have caught Are so much more delicious than the ones you might have bought. There's nothing like the chill of early morning on your face, The beauty of the sunrise as it verifies God's grace, The calmness of the water and the silence of the air Tranquility and solitude are present everywhere. The line is in the water, still and quiet like the dawn.. A bob, a tug, a pull, a jerk - a strike! The game is on! Man and fish in combat with survival on the line... Oh, how I love the memories of those youthful days of mine. But, now, it's plain to see that, through some twisted act of God, I've become the fish and you're the one that holds the rod. You let me almost get away by giving me some slack But, every time that I get close, you yank and haul me back! You know the hook is planted deep and I can't get away. Perhaps you are amused to see me struggle as you play. Back and forth, then up and down, you guide me at your will And it won't stop until I'm belly-up and lying still. There's other fish for you to fry - the ocean is quite full But you know I can't break away from your magnetic pull So you keep tugging now and then so I cannot get free And, though you're having fun, you're gonna be the death of me! My zest is gone as is my strength - my mouth is really sore. My flag waves in surrender - I can't take it any more. I only want my life to be the way it once had been And, if I ever get away, I'll never fish again. |
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© Copyright 2002 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved | |||
Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
(big hugggssssss) I am not sure if I got the whole morale of this story or not, but while I do love fishing mostly because of the serenity and how it seems to get families closer together to talking to one another, I also don't like to capture fish, for they are like us are wanting to be free, and I just release them after I catch one by instance! (sigh) This is powerful, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Michael, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
Love camping, love fishing. Though I always throw 'em back. Probably because...I know how it feels to be hooked. Loved this one, Balladeer! |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
it's hard to be the bait.!!!.. it's harder to be the fish !!!!! believe me, i know how hard it was when this happened to me!! you're a fine writer, Michael...i love you, sweet Poet..... . nobody can write a ballad like you, sweet Man......... you are THE Ballad..... 'Deer!! btw, kathie asked me recently if i wanted to go fishing and i declined..... told her i'd rather go hunting for real meat.... LOL!!!!! *wink* hehe...... great writing!!!!!!! nobody on this earth can write like you can...... i LOVE it! [This message has been edited by doreen peri (04-10-2002 07:41 AM).] |
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SmittenKitten Senior Member
since 2001-06-20
Posts 1131where the sky and horizon meet |
Gosh I love your comic rhyming I giggle along the perfect timing You have a hilarious look on life it's fresh and makes me forget all strife Wonderful metaphor Now speaking non-metaphorically, I love to feed fish rather than catch them...it's much more fun and painless! giggling, ~Krista Your beautiful words & creativity allow me to connect with the same in myself. |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
’Deer dearest heart this is awesome, truly exceptional writing. So amazing what you can effortlessly convey with such grace and style, a painter of pictures, and an artist sublime, this is excellent writing as always. You have such an outstanding gift to write. You know you hooked me don’t you? Truly fabulous writing Hooked into the tale, Then done up like a kipper You the practised fisherman, And me, just call me flipper I swallowed all the bait Opened wide my mouth Then didn’t even notice I was heading south Hooked just like a fish Oh woe to foolish me This is the end I fear My tail ended fishily Marsha You do know I really LOVE this don’t you? Of course you do. My attempts at subtlety and my delicate nuances do seem to seem to be extremely good indications of my utter utter delight at reading this . Wonderful writing as always Love and warm stuff As always Mushy To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace Luke 2:79 |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
It's Fishing Season again, so soon? P'rhaps then by the light of moon we'll find those crawlers at our feet to catch the fish whose meat's so sweet... doggone it...it's probably not a good thing to be rhyming so early in the morning, heaven only knows how the legal briefs will turn out... good one 'Deer - glad to see it back for our new members! |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Deer you hooked me the fishing line and reeled me as a fisher of men (or in your case man) Loved the metaphor. Kethry Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
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Tracey Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808where insanity meets breeding |
Fishing from the fish’s perspective. Cool thought ‘Deer. I’ll pass on the fishing thanks….but car racing…now there’s a sport!! Lol If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please? |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Ballareer, Exactly. The only thing left to do with this fish is stuff it. Like I said before when I grow up I'm gonna write just like you. |
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Krissy Senior Member
since 2002-02-22
Posts 556kent England |
’Deer hi there, this is absolutely perfect writing, aren’t they always? The river continues to run on and on. A rushing torrent of inspired and wonderful sparkling words of wisdom, and wit. Excellent writing, you are the master writer. You do know this is something very special don’t you the feel of this hook that holds me captured by my desires ~~~~~~~~~ wriggling against my will, struggling against the inevitable pull of you. your line cast with perfect flair, I’m hooked caught by the bait of this softly blown and perfect kiss. such delicate tugs against my heart pull me, reel me in I’m hooked llllllllll lllllllllllll llllllllllllllllll Love and warm stuff As always Krissy And while thy willing soul transpiers at every pore with instant fires Andrew Marvell 1621-1678 [This message has been edited by Krissy (04-10-2002 05:58 PM).] |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
1derful write, as usual! I love the twisted ending |
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newmanwalking69 Junior Member
since 2002-04-10
Posts 10 |
great poem i've read i few of your poems and they are amazing please, be my guest by reading mine as well, and let me know how i did, i would really like that, thank you |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Wonderful Michael! No one tells a story like you do! Especially a fish story... At least it's not about the one that got away! ~Smiles & Hugs~ |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Dear deer...what happened to catch and release?..I guess you just were unlucky, I know catching fish is alot of fun..but cleaning them is my notdone. |
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brianbeaudry Member
since 2001-07-20
Posts 410Northern Ontario Canada |
Nice twist but I won't give up my rod nor skillet that easily LOL!!! Great write my friend!!! |
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Saunni Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 1777West Virginia |
Oh, AWESOME, just AWESOME! Sauni @~~~>~~ |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
Pretty fancy there Balladeer... "I caught a fish...thisssssss...big!" You have great tempo going on here. The theme interestingly enough reminds me of a conversation I had with a fisherman today. Thanks for all the great laughs. ThisDiamond |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Thank you all, my friendly fishermen and fishes. There are a lot of hookers out there!!! |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Fine... Have it your way... No more fishing... I'll take up deer hunting instead... |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
ROFL @ Nan! Michael, this is wonderful my 'Deer. Fluid in poetic grace, and such an excellent twist in concept from fishing by the shore to relationships. You've got me hooked for sure! Best wishes and hugs, /Kit |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I'll have to join Kit... ROFL @ Nan's new hobby. *G* This is wonderful, Deer One... I thoroughly enjoyed. *S* But being thrown back isn't any fun, either... how well I know. *S* |
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SmartChick Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081On A Journey To The Unknown |
This is wonderful, Balladeer! As always! I always catch the biggest fish, when we go fishing. Needless to say we don't go fishing very much anymore. |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
Another great one, Michael... I love the way you tell a story in verse. I guess that if you ever get free, all of the fish will be thankful...of course, if you don't get free, they will also be thankful. How do you know how it feels to be a fish? Were you a fish in a previous lifetime? ~fishy hugs~ copyright2002 Lyra Nesius |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
You said.........................WHAT? |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
I'm afraid it's deer season right now! Thankee, folks Madame C...yep, I was a pirahna two lifetimes ago I had a handle on life...but it broke. |
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