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Duncan
Member Ascendant

since 2001-08-07

Posts 5455

0 posted 2002-05-04 02:31 AM

The bed is cool, crisp
sheets fresh from the line
soft beaten
on a windy day
they flow over me
but hold no rest
it’s a story I need
tonight

Lie here beside me
let me close my eyes
to the sound of your voice
tell me a story
be it truth, be it lie
let me fall asleep
wrapped in your words
as a child
soothed by lullaby
slumbers heavily
without care
to waking

tell me a story
let me sleep
in your voice

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

1 posted 2002-05-04 02:37 AM

This...is as good at it gets...written as clean as fresh laundry, and all the comfort of a tuck in bed.

total purity here, dunc.

I'm as hushed as starched sheets.

Duncan
Member Ascendant

since 2001-08-07

Posts 5455

2 posted 2002-05-04 03:57 AM

all the comfort of a tuck in bed.

Good choice of line, K.

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

3 posted 2002-05-04 06:54 AM

Lie here beside me
let me close my eyes
to the sound of your voice
tell me a story
be it truth, be it lie
let me fall asleep
wrapped in your words
============================
let me sleep
in your voice
============================

one of your poetic gifts is the way you capture a thought, or a moment, in its simplest, most honest form and then you gently "complicate" it with your longing and vulnerablity. I've said this before ... you wear your heart on your sleeve with class.
jm
=============================

... and I don't know why ...
Why should love come down and just sweep me away
I want to fly ... but there are so many things in my way.

J Browne

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

4 posted 2002-05-04 08:23 AM

What a lullabye!

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

5 posted 2002-05-04 08:37 AM

As soft and gentle as a lullabye Duncan.
Enjoyed this one.
~Hugs~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain~

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

6 posted 2002-05-04 10:49 AM

Duncan, this is beautiful...Reminds me of
days when I read stories to my daughter
Ashley...So peaceful and pleasurable...
watching those little eyes close...the sleep
of complete trust and safety, in my arms..

Thank You for this one..

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

7 posted 2002-05-04 11:04 AM

yes, it's that soothing that leads to peaceful sleep, add barely there fingertips that caress cares away, and you have some sweet dreams

Loved this one Cowboy

Severn
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-17

Posts 7704

8 posted 2002-05-04 06:31 PM

Beautiful.

This is something I would like. Sigh.

K

Raz
Member

since 2002-04-30

Posts 51
Quebec, Canada

9 posted 2002-05-04 07:13 PM

I do like very much. Very nice flow, very nice sounds. Very very very. Good poem. Thanks for the read.

-Raz

Nightshade

Member Patricius

since 2001-08-31

Posts 13962
just out of reach

10 posted 2002-05-04 07:19 PM

tell me a story
let me sleep
in your voice

I love this Duncan. lovely. Chris

Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away.

BloomingRose
Member Elite

since 2000-08-09

Posts 3092
Florida

11 posted 2002-05-04 07:56 PM

I like this!
Sweet dreams...

Deb

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

12 posted 2002-05-04 08:55 PM

Ok, I will...but if you touch me I'll slap you silly!!

excellent writing, good sir..a feel like a pair of fuzzy warm slippers

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

13 posted 2002-05-04 09:04 PM

(smiles) Awwwwwww, this is sooooo sweet, dearest friend, may your love forever set you to sleep in lullabye and bring joy to your heart forever! (big hugggsssss) This is breathtaking, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Duncan, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

catalinamoon

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-03

Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone

14 posted 2002-05-04 09:39 PM

Duncan, this is so strange,how someone's poem can bring such strong memories, but here goes, might as well share them. I was once with a man who would tell me stories while I fell asleep, as I have always been a wicked insomniac. It was SO wonderful and loving.
This really hit a soft spot in me.
Sandra

[This message has been edited by catalinamoon (05-04-2002 10:22 PM).]

Larry C

Member Patricius

since 2001-09-10

Posts 10286
United States

15 posted 2002-05-05 01:45 AM

Duncan,
I don't know what has gotten into you lately...but you are just on a roll that won't stop. Wow, this poem holds so much sentimental value both of my parents and as a parent. A keeper indeed! Thanks for writing this fabulous poem.

It's never too late to have a good childhood! Woohoo!

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia