we are day - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

0 posted 2002-05-01 05:20 AM

the highway thinks she is you in the mornings
when she nuzzles up close
when I am mountains behind her
and she fits my welcome
while we watch the sun together

I lean over her as if she were you
and make shadows over her eyes
she turns up around my corners
and fits to my mouth edge smile
I cover her shoulders there

the highway thinks she is you in the evenings
when she turns to face me
when I am mountains in front of her
and she welcomes my fit
while she watches the moon above me

I lean over her as if she were you
and touch the shadows in her eyes
she reaches up under my rising
and fits to my edges
she covers my shoulders there

with her never lonely sighs

©Dark

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

1 posted 2002-05-01 07:16 AM

This brought to memory a specific road in CA that I had occasion to travel a few times...it also brought back the sun run rise and the sun run set in specific areas of the topography...

smiling here...

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

2 posted 2002-05-01 07:21 AM

sunshine...thanks for the smile
and Good Morning...glad it made nice memory places

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

3 posted 2002-05-01 08:16 AM

the highway thinks she is you in the mornings
when she nuzzles up close
when I am mountains behind her
and she fits my welcome
while we watch the sun together

I lean over her as if she were you
and make shadows over her eyes
she turns up around my corners
and fits to my mouth edge smile
I cover her shoulders there
================================
and she welcomes my fit
while she watches the moon above me

I lean over her as if she were you
and touch the shadows in her eyes
she reaches up under my rising
and fits to my edges
she covers my shoulders there

with her never lonely sighs
======================================

*shaking my head and smiling*
Is there a metaphor, analogy or image that you dont make sigh?

I dont think so!!
Love the the personification in this DS..
most of all, the contenment found in this kind of closeness that it brings to mind.
very cool write poet sir.
jm

... and I don't know why ...
Why should love come down and just sweep me away
I want to fly ... but there are so many things in my way.

J Browne

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

4 posted 2002-05-01 08:25 AM

(smiles) This is absolutely wonderful, sweet friend, I too loved the personification in this poem, almost as though its a message of faith and trust, being the mountains to always watch over her and guide her with love, and the way you used a serpentine effect in the structure of the stanzas! (big hugggssssss) This is fabulous, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet friend, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

5 posted 2002-05-01 08:31 AM

Dark~
I'll take the high road...
while Nightshade takes the low road..
and we'll meet you at the edge of your smile.

Thank you for the awesome morning read
from the both of us.
~Double Hugs& Grins~

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

6 posted 2002-05-01 08:46 AM

janet marie, thank you hon...I appreciate you for the reviews.

noah, thank you my friend, it was a fun write

enchantress and nightshade, mmmmmm sitting in the middle between you both would be such a treat..thank you both

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

7 posted 2002-05-01 10:56 AM

This puts a whole new sweet meaning into driving.

I enjoy what you see.

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

8 posted 2002-05-01 11:12 AM

ms martie, thanks lady friend...I appreciate you

Interloper

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-06

Posts 8369
Deep in the heart

9 posted 2002-05-01 11:15 AM

Wow. I love this. More, please

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

10 posted 2002-05-01 11:17 AM

and a good morning it is...I loved the very continuity written here, familiar and soothing...a very good fit, indeed. Good to see ya (methinks I have recovered--chuckle--time to do it again?

)

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

11 posted 2002-05-01 12:01 PM

interloper...thank you for the read and smile,

serenity, was wondering how long it would take before you were ready for another round..(grin)

thanks for the read ms

Decaflame
Senior Member

since 2001-05-11

Posts 1635

12 posted 2002-05-01 12:55 PM

shadows steep
last of sun's ring
against eyelids closed

and the highway
still feels
the warm

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

13 posted 2002-05-01 12:58 PM

deca..mmmmm I like that thank you for
your smoothing steps

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

14 posted 2002-05-01 01:05 PM

Dark Stranger
You have your own way of saying things and I always enjoy the read.

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

15 posted 2002-05-01 01:07 PM

and she fits my welcome

hmmm...I use to think I could do without morning welcomes like this..but they are a treat to read.

hugs
M

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

16 posted 2002-05-01 01:17 PM

sy, humble thanks my friend, enjoy your reviews sir

nt, thank you and am glad you enjoy the offering. hugs back ms

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

17 posted 2002-05-01 02:15 PM

Yr a true poet.

Indigo
Senior Member

since 2001-05-17

Posts 602

18 posted 2002-05-01 05:04 PM

your path's untroubled
when familiar curves beckon
to welcome you home

Indigo

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

19 posted 2002-05-01 05:37 PM

bsq, thank you my friend

ms indigo,
curves of familiar
never familiar
to new day eyes

thanks lady

snowpants
Member Elite

since 2000-09-16

Posts 2061
KS

20 posted 2002-05-01 05:56 PM

'I lean over her as if she were you
and make shadows over her eyes
she turns up around my corners
and fits to my mouth edge smile
I cover her shoulders there

the highway thinks she is you in the evenings
when she turns to face me
when I am mountains in front of her
and she welcomes my fit
while she watches the moon above me'

I haven't read a thing of yours yet that doesn't amaze me...excellently written!

sp

I've been down this road forever,
and the time has come to circle back home...

Duncan
Member Ascendant

since 2001-08-07

Posts 5455

21 posted 2002-05-01 06:13 PM

A moth recently turned me on to your poetry, I'm going to have to remember to thank her!

rwood
Member Elite

since 2000-02-29

Posts 3793
Tennessee

22 posted 2002-05-01 09:21 PM

Everyday..please..

Sincerely,
Reg

Severn
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-17

Posts 7704

23 posted 2002-05-01 09:23 PM

Sigh (you know the kind).

This reminds me of someone in particular, at a certain time. Brought it all back quite clearly. I really appreciate this...I really do.

K

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

24 posted 2002-05-02 05:26 AM

snowpants, humble thanks my friend

duncan, thank you for the comments, and thank the moth for me too

regina, always and then more too, thanks

severn, it pleases me to make a memory come back to you, thanks much

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

25 posted 2004-04-04 08:43 PM

awesome!

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.