Open Poetry #20 |
Night Folds |
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Night folds So quickly the night folds up the day Taking each shadow’s crease Slipping in across the porch until Only the front door holds the sun From the rocking chair where I watch This sun-gladdened day seeps across the front lawn And weaves across the street As children’s voices start to quarrel I hear the wind around the house now It is the sound of afternoon’s closing door A moan as time moves through the changing And eats minutes and I can tell it hurts some My skin is closing now too Folding into the comfort of clothes Pulling itself closed with fingers that fumble buttons And flannel that has become fragile with soft I watch the last shouting child curve fast Around the hedge Until there is just a piece of blue Then the screen door slams and lights go on With just a flicker of family covering the window Watching has made me remember When children held my skirt and called out As the afternoon chaos swallowed the day And that too hurts some [This message has been edited by Martie (04-29-2002 08:28 PM).] |
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© Copyright 2002 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved | |||
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
So quickly the night folds up the day Taking each shadow's crease Slipping in across the porch until Only the front door holds the sun =============================== I hear the wind around the house now It is the sound of afternoon's closing door A moan as time moves through the changing And eats minutes and I can tell it hurts some My skin is closing now too Folding into the comfort of clothes Pulling itself closed with fingers that fumble buttons And flannel that has become fragile with soft ============================== Watching has made me remember When children held my skirt and called out As the afternoon chaos swallowed the day And that too hurts some ============================== I just wanna hug ya for this one. made me think of that old Croce song "time in a bottle" ... Do ya know how cool this poem is? The personification of the day slipping to evening and of time and of aging is so uniquely,cleverly done...but most of all tenderly done. touching, beautiful write Martie-girl. ... and I don't know why ... |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
(tears fall down my cheeks) Oh Martie, this is so heartbreaking, sweet friend, I can feel such sadness in these words, I hope everything is alright, as my heart goes out to all the children who endure this same kind of pain! (big hugggsssss) My thoughts go out to all the children of the world, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Martie, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
Martie, just when I think I can slip away from this computer 2get a late dinner ready 4us here, instead I decided ohhh I'll just take a peak at this post by my friend Martie, and gosh gurl you really know how2captivate a reader in eachNevery verse... My admiration for the exquisite write and my heart hugz ya with bunches of teddybearhugz... *~coco~* |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Jan--you already know my smile for your reply. Noah..this is not about a child's pain or suffering, it is only the movement of time and me looking with nostalgia at the kids in the neighborhood where my kids grew up, and feeling a little old. Thanks though for your concern. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Coco...so good to see you! Thank you for your sweet reply! |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Well fold me in and tuck me away... until the night no longer stays... Martie...don't you know I'm beaming over this one? |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
like lover hands night seems to lace fingers into the velvet sky ms martie you do it good |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Martie, Can't say it better than JM. Excellent. |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Martie~ So gently you've folded the day into comfy corners of the night~ Beautiful thoughts dearest one~ *Hugs* for the remembers~ Love ya' ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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Sunnyone Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334Staffordshire, England |
and all mothers with grown children can feel every single word that you penned here. I, for one, appreciate this a great deal!! |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Beautiful, but I too wince at the endings a bit. (And I am fluffing and folding clothes which are piled at my feet while I read) So I must add, excellent use of metaphor...as always mmmarvelous mmmmartie, you paint your images vivid! |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
You sure do bring life to these pages |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
Martie, you've taken my breath away with this one, it's beautiful in it's own exuberant melancholy way. I love the way you write life Take care, Melissa~ "Poetry is not an opinion expressed... |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Loved this -- all the way to the bittersweet ending. |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Marti darling girl this is incredible writing, absolutely outstandingly good. I truly love this diamond from you. Utterly utterly amazing writing it’s so full of beauty you are an amazing writer, truly awesome writing here. So softly and sweetly you’ve folded time with this delight Love and warm stuff As always Mushy To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace Luke 2:79 |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
speechless... fumble fumble...something to say.. ... this is just... fragile with soft.. I WANT that line.. and you know - the last line just caps it off... so, when's the book coming out?? K |
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rwood Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793Tennessee |
I hear the wind around the house now It is the sound of afternoon’s closing door A moan as time moves through the changing And eats minutes and I can tell it hurts some Yess..it does. You are so fantastic at making me feel your words. They are lovely and real and sooo touching. Thanks for that. Sincerely, Reg |
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