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Open Poetry #25
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Snaking Recalled
| Open Poetry #25 |
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Snaking Recalled |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart 
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Snaking Recalled He didn’t hate “them”… it was just sometimes, sometimes, “they” were worse than any three day mind-grain [as Jake used to call them] could ever be. It use to spook the calmest of his kin folk, and he never told any of his few friends of this so called “power” as Konrad was never sure when the next time would come, but they snaked in as he best could recall, with no warning, no heads up, butting his emotions up to the wall that he could never climb over and stood in haunt of lost spaces, myriad faces, uncommon places leaving him feeling like a rubber band that had been deja viewed. Usually images came, dangled like teardrops in front of a mirror, heavy bottomed crystals he could see in, through, out the other side, upside down… what is stranger than feeling like Alice on the backside of the mirror… So Belize waited, and Konrad waited because his ghosts would turn human, tap him on his shoulder, and remind him that he was not alone… and far from home. |
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| © Copyright 2003 Karilea Rilling Jungel - All Rights Reserved | |||
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the_loner_23 Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479Jacksonville, Florida, USA |
 I like this a lot. So me parts made me laugh.Cold hands means a warm heart |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Ok lady Sunshine..... your imagery here is good..you bring the reader into the scenes with nice word play and a good sense of semi surreal "reason" to wind it up... your story line has diverged in some ways from where you appeared to be headed..and now is evolving Konrad as an individual, some what mystic, somewhat mystery, somehwat very human... my question to you is... to what end are you working? don't tell me here... think about it always when yu tell it...and each vignet offered... should focus on taking one more step towards that goal...and offer the reader a smaller sense of closure when they finish reading the piece... you do well at all of this... I've seen it..read it and enjoyed it... and this is a step "back" in the right direction... ( laughing) (like it is my story and I know all...NOT) weave it together.... and let the reader know... now... why should we be drawn to Konrad and like him..or hate him? You have already shown us.... in earlier pieces... so now.. remind us once in a while.. and then..let the story tell itself.. There is not a single one of these..I have not enjoyed..and that is not well done... so don't think I am saying they are not good...and that they don't compell.. I'm still reading them aren't I? find your voice Konrad... and speak it.. |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Konrad is indeed turning into a very interesting and intriguing person.. Much enjoying watching him evolve. Good storyline Karilea. ~Hugs~ ~ Trace my body with your words.. |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
'Usually images came, dangled like teardrops in front of a mirror, heavy bottomed crystals he could see in, through, out the other side, upside down… what is stranger than feeling like Alice on the backside of the mirror… So Belize waited, and Konrad waited because his ghosts would turn human, tap him on his shoulder, and remind him that he was not alone… and far from home.' This one I understand!  (Once again...How well is that workin' for ya?) Don't throw the pottery at me, it looks very expensive! Nice tag Sunshine! |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Usually images came, dangled like teardrops in front of a mirror, heavy bottomed crystals he could see in, through, out the other side, upside down… what is stranger than feeling like Alice on the backside of the mirror… ==================================== very cool, cryptic imagery...haunted and surreal. So we are waiting to meet the lovely Dana..yes? |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Yes I want to meet her too JM. Sigh Karilea. M xx The clouds never expect it when it rains, but the sea, changes colours, but the sea, does not change. |
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