Open Poetry #25 |
Clementine |
BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Was passing through the other day lookin' to stop by and do some catching up just me an' the good ol' boys while my horse was being fitted for new shoes. I missed those folks somethin' fierce even though they were always gawking at Clementine couldn't blame them for staring at her. She was such a pretty gal, right from the day she was born. I seen her act before and read some magazine stories the lady could dance the can can better than any country bum I ever saw. I was right partial and proud, being her sister and all. She nicknamed me Missy I kinda preferred it that way the fact that she made it stick and always did right by me. I couldn't shuck corn like Clementine but I wasn't half bad. She was good at what she done. I was into roping and rodeos, and other stuff like that. Fixing to find me a real cowboy, but no one ever looked at me, not the way Jackson looked at Clementine. Oh sure he kept his hands in his pockets where they belonged while watching every move she made. Hell, he wore his hat so far down over his eyes you'd think he was playing her for a fool. It wasn't no secret they had something purty special going between them two. He came and went for long periods at a time. Lord knows why they kept at it, and what the attraction was all about. Must have been in love or some fool thang or another. Bless their hearts. I just wanted a cold beer and a mosey on up. Never was much good at small talk the town folk kept the conversation going and whispered soft talk stuff like that trading favors every other round. I stayed long enough to use the ladies room thinking I might untangle my curls tame and sure nuff Clem came storming in after me going on and on how she had a mind to use poor Jackson for target practice if he didn't come around some. Damn girl could trip her own trigger and aim it right through her soft spot if she wasn't careful. I could see the fire in her eyes starting to burn and I always felt so bad for her when she was balling. I told her I might be coming back through in a month or two and maybe we could take a ride if she felt like talking about it. But she was hollering that the show must go on, and we both knew it wasn't going anywhere without her. About the same time I saw Jackson throwing back another shot of whiskey right when Clementine came out strutting her stuff, making eye contact with every fella in the saloon. I could tell by lookin', he never loved no one like he loved her but for the life of me I caint understand why they were always at a stand off with each other. Such a crying shame to be acting like stubborn fools when the one you love is up there on stage dancing just for you. I left a note reminding him that life is too short, and how they deserved one another, rightly so. But I reckon he never read it probably used it to wipe the drool off his chin. Well now, I got some knots to tie and a rodeo to ride. Gonna go pick up my horse and head out about now. [This message has been edited by BluesSerenade (04-13-2003 01:09 PM).] |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
BluesSerenade - I could read your thoughts like this all night. Excellent write. Oh that Clementine... BC |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Bluesy - you roped a beauty here: Damn girl could trip her own trigger and aim it right through her soft spot if she wasn't careful. glad I came to this part o' town *wink* needed a bedtime story (not that I sleep) xxoo [This message has been edited by littlewing (04-13-2003 12:30 AM).] |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Lori, I enjoy stories like these. My favorite line? "When the one you love is up there on stage dancing just for you" Good imagery...neat character, that Missy!!! Hugs, Pat ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Lori, There you go tellin' stories! Cool...a style I haven't seen from you before. Nicely done. If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Hey Lori...just look at you...what a great story teller you are! Much enjoyed! |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Thank you guys, you are just too nice and I appreciate your comments so much, especailly when I'm experimenting. I suppose my message was, 1~ Sisterly love 2~ Not comparing ourselves to others 3~ Recognizing love when we see it 4~ Doing our own thang~ Just me trying to tell a good story~ Thank you, sincerely~ |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Oh my darlin Clementine...sounds like a secret love affair perhaps...yep, I think so...James |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Hey, a nice little vignette here -- enjoyed it top to bottom! ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Doggone good readin'. Love the turn taken here in your writing....yep |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Lori, I really do like this and noticed some of your other poetry. Just commenting how multi-talented you are. Very new for you...enjoy greatly... Hugs, Pat ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Lori, Quite the change of pace for you and I very much enjoyed it. Fantastic imagery! ~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~ ~Somewhere in my heart I'm always |
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majnu
since 2002-10-13
Posts 1088SF Bay Area |
great title - too much to resist. gorgeous story. a fellow i know coined a term: prosetry - this certainly is it. the flow was good and the slang gave it a nice tone. well done. -majnu |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
Great story poem!!!!! For a bit, I thought you wanted to join Iambe's extended family and were writing about the Jackson character I write sometimes. Give it a thought, why don't ya.....seem to have a knack for storytelling!!!! |
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