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Lacey's Storm
| Open Poetry #25 |
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Lacey's Storm |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida 
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Lacey's Storm Lacey sat with back against tree looking out over the lush greenness of a land that had recently given birth absent mindedly cleaning the lens of her camera she stroked it in an almost sensual way betraying thoughts that were not on the land or lens at all She was thinking of Travis and trying to come to terms with what he meant to her and why She had not been prepared for his existence in her life like a spring storm that suddenly spawns a funnel he had shown her quiet calm with the promise of a more colorful tomorrow then with the strength of a tornado threatened to tear down every wall she had so carefully erected Momentarily distracted by a wondering ant Lacey reached down to brush at her leg and moves away from the tree to lay on her back facing the vast blue of sky.. She remembers wanting to take Travis to her bed thinking it would absolve her knowing now what she really wanted was to become a part of him it was that admission that scared her Did she have the right to bring him into her life a life where drama would be shared the drama from a past full of hurt She wonders if he is worthy of sharing her scars she wonders if he would even want to She takes one more glance at the now darkening sky sensing a coming storm Lacey gets up, brushing off faded overalls knowing she must find Travis and ask... [This message has been edited by Susan Caldwell (04-09-2003 09:33 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 Susan Caldwell - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
You're finding her deep, rich voice... and I am smiling... I do so love when the family grows.... |
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garysgirl  
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Susan, I really like the way you just took off and ran with the story line....really good writing.  Hugs, Ethel |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
youre making this muse your own and that is a very very cool thing....keep reaching deep...youre making us feel Lacey'ache. Well done poetess Susan  Capt...youre like a rash of inspiration in here and we love reading the scratch of the itch  |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Susan, Enjoy your writing the scene...the small visuals, such as ants, etc., put me right there. Talented, you are! But this has me curious: "she wonders if he is ~worthy~ of ~sharing her scars~" I am such an idealist, I find it interesting to view others insights into human nature. Relationships so complicated, humans likewise...funny how we sometimes try to turn our lovers into our parents.. Enjoying this series... Hugs, Pat ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Pat, I think in my mind to be worthy of sharing someone's heartache, you have to be able to see the wound, and understand the wounded's reaction to it. Sometimes we respond to hurt in ways we never thought we would. Doing things that go against the very grain of who we are. For someone to be worthy of sharing that, they have to understand, not judge and love the person all the more for being honest and making it through. Does that help? Susan |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
(chuckling) Well... JM..if anything I offer here inspires someone..it is because they have in themselves the talent and the understanding to write it anyway... Susan... well done! A surprise to come in and find you had written more about Lacey. I think she has adopted you... yes that is right SHE adopted you... characters seem to do that rather than the other way around. A thought... and one you can discard if you like...but you might try writing her in first person... rather than telling us what is going on or what she is doing as if observing from the outside.. I have to admit... it pleases me to see any of the characters I write about find someone to adopt... or to find related characters to be written.. Now.... more please... let's see where you take her and what sorts of insight you afford us into the other side.. |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Susan, Thanks for the e-mail, but I understand this completely, before your explanation. Sorry you thought you needed to explain your thinking, or if you took my comments any differently as how I intended. This is simply, TO ME, as a novice writer, a study in human nature....on which I commented I stand by what I said about lovers being turned into parent figures... That is not a bad thing!!! I also said I am an idealist....which should say a lot about any comment I make. I think you are doing a great job, but, my opinion is Travis needs a grown-up.....so, maybe Lacey won't be her...but, one along the way of finding what HE needs... Someone who thinks of him first.... not self...he already has those qualities(thinking of her first)...he needs a mirror image... That is simply my opinion....Again, I think you are writing a terrific, classic, normal, PERFECT female character; one everyone can relate to...I am sorry if you are taking my comment as critical...not intended at all... I do look forward to reading more of him and of her....and of future encounters between the two... With respect for your writing ability and warmest regards, Hugs, Pat ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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Brad Majors
since 2001-04-03
Posts 2647Georgia |
I htink you have outdone yourself yet again |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Pat, I didn't think that at all. I love all the comments and yours inspired me to share a part of how I think....thank you for that. Susan |
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Brad Majors
since 2001-04-03
Posts 2647Georgia |
cool piece |
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SimplyGold Senior Member
since 2002-07-10
Posts 1453 |
Susan, This has the making of some very good character developement for a novel. I'm looking forward to seeing where you take it. SG |
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